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#1
Oct 27, 2008, 02:58 PM
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Why? Cuz I'm either stupid or a glutten for punishment. Friday S sent me a link to a song that it amazing--I can't remember whether I posted it here or not. It makes me cry and I'm sitting her listening to it over and over. Why? Cuz I wanna believe it. I really need to feel loved right now and the fact that he heard this song (it's an indie song) and thought of me--us--makes me cry, happy, sad, whatever. Feel free to yell at me. No hugs--stupidity on my part doesn't deserve them! I just can't turn it off. And the video makes me cry because it is us. Why won't my mind just let me get up and walk away? Maybe this should go in the relationship forum but I'm depressed and upset.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut 
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#2
Oct 27, 2008, 03:03 PM
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((((((((((( cantstopcrying )))))))))))))))))
I wanted to thank you for posting this because I do the same thing and now I know that I am not alone. I have never figured out what causes me to do such things. I hope that things get better for you soon. 
__________________
 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You, too? Thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis visit my blog at http://gimmeice.psychcentral.net |
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#3
Oct 27, 2008, 03:05 PM
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Thank you. I, too, feel like I'm the only one and that's what makes me feel stupid. Thank you for letting me know it's not just my dysfunctional brain, but yours too.
 (I'm just kidding about the dysfunctional brain, don't be offended).
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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 gimmeice
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#4
Oct 27, 2008, 03:07 PM
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((((cant))) i do this sometimes to. I'm guessing that its normal to do this at times. take care
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| cantstopcrying
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#5
Oct 27, 2008, 03:08 PM
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((((((((((((((((cantstopcrying)))))))))))))))))))
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
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| cantstopcrying
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#6
Oct 27, 2008, 03:09 PM
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Oh wow - was there last week! I finally had to set the song I was listening to aside, it hurt (such a simple word, but you know what I mean). Set the song aside and find one that you know will jazz you up, make you do a little dancing or bebopping (oops, gave my age away!
 ) Seriously, set it aside for awhile... it doesn't mean you have to never listen to it ever again, just for today, set it aside and put something perky on... at least that helped me a little. I also had to busy myself doing something else. Hugs and a tear too, it stinks and it hurts...,Einna |
| cantstopcrying
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#7
Oct 27, 2008, 03:21 PM
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(canstopcrying)))))))))))))))))))))))) please know ((you matter))))
hope things get better.......alone does feel not so good know you are not alone here  muffy |
| cantstopcrying
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#8
Oct 27, 2008, 03:24 PM
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It's ok to feel sad.
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#9
Oct 27, 2008, 03:28 PM
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The thing is I feel sad but happy too and the song is you take me the way I am, and says I love you more than I can ever promise and I can't even explain without taking up 32 1/2 pages why this does this to me and now I'm babbling, so thank you for taking the time to respond and care.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#10
Oct 27, 2008, 03:35 PM
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Why not take up 32 pages? And 1/2!
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#11
Oct 27, 2008, 03:36 PM
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Thank you, but it's a story that no one would be interested in and there are parts I'm not proud of and it would just take up everyones time. But thank you.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#12
Oct 27, 2008, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Much Love,  Holmes |
| cantstopcrying
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#13
Oct 28, 2008, 10:14 AM
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Not listening to the song today--it's stuck in my head, I don't need to see it! But I sent an email this morning saying "tell me about the song" and I got back "what about it, It's a really good song and a cool video" so I sent back saying I just wondered if you sent it because it reminded you of us. Not pressuring or expecting, but it took my breath away and I wondered if that's why you sent it. Haven't heard anything. Trying to adjust my thinking from "way to go, you stupid screw up. if it's taking this long to answer you know the answer," to "he's probably sitting in meetings again today." Something that isn't jumping to the conclusion that it just is a cool song and he didn't intend the words to remind me of us. Try, try, think positive, breathe. Somebody? Please. Breathe with me.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#14
Oct 28, 2008, 11:42 AM
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(((BIG hugs for csc)))
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#15
Oct 28, 2008, 11:45 AM
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Thank you so very much!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#16
Oct 28, 2008, 01:23 PM
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I'm breathing with you .... a little late, but I'm here
__________________
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter |
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#17
Oct 28, 2008, 01:29 PM
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Actually, not too late. I hadn't heard anything so like the idiot I am, I send an email just seeing how the day is going. Get an answer right back on that one, so it's not meetings!!! So, because I just don't know when to shut my mouth, fingers or mind or whatever, I send back saying i hadn't heard from the other email so "guessing either is not a good time to answer my other question, I irritated you by asking it, or no answer is the answer. " shocking--no answer back on that one. Molly, don't take any more advice from me--I can't even follow my own! Just forget it.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#18
Oct 28, 2008, 01:34 PM
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I agree with Sorrel, please tell the story.
Everyone's done stuff we're not proud of - and on these boards there's a good chance we'll understand. I would read your story. Quote:
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#19
Oct 28, 2008, 01:36 PM
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thank you. Some day when I get the courage I will. Soon. Thank you for caring!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#20
Oct 28, 2008, 01:51 PM
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Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in... heave a big sigh... breathe in, breathe out. Oh dear, dear Canst - remember (and nothing angainst the males who read this) but he is a male and guys react to things differently than gals do. He may not be responding because you read him exactly right and he's not sure what to do now. Who knows? He's the only one who really knows.
All you are/were doing in your emails to him was being honest. Don't beat yourself up for being honest. Some guys can take honesty, other guys really don't know what to do with it when it's about feelings... and that's okay. Just try not to assume anything (yeah, I know - easier said than done) but try. Give yourself credit for being honest, for knowing how you feel, for being the wonderful you that you are! 's,Einna |
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#21
Oct 28, 2008, 01:52 PM
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Oh bless you! Thank you so much for those words, Einna.
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#22
Oct 28, 2008, 01:55 PM
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((cantstop))))) you have great advice for others, at least you are helping us get motivated to do at least something! dont feel bad for your advice or that you want to help.. everyones situation is different and we may need to try a whole bag of ideas before we find the one that works... how else can you know if you dont ask what he's thinking?
for me i guess i have to find some way to hear what the other person is saying better and the other person is helpful by allowing me to learn to listen correctly.. in turn we are able to work on our own communication skills individually and together, and the whole process improves over time... yes, its a little challenging because we are dealing with so many past issues that neither knows about fully yet and emotions can be sensitive at times.. also, keep in mind that with phones, e-mail, even snail mail, we are limited in the amount of sense perceptions available that might indicate to us what else is going on for this person... if we could see a pained or happy expression, that is a signal to us of what we might choose as our next statement.. without that connection, there is a lot of guess work and the best thing imo is to consciously consider what the other person may be thinking that they havent said.. there might be a lot more going on than we are aware of and kind, loving patience will create the best atmosphere for it to come to the surface and be discussed in a caring way together as a team.. |
| cantstopcrying
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#23
Oct 28, 2008, 02:01 PM
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"...keep in mind that with phones, e-mail, even snail mail, we are limited in the amount of sense perceptions available that might indicate to us what else is going on for this person... if we could see a pained or happy expression, that is a signal to us of what we might choose as our next statement.. without that connection, there is a lot of guess work and the best thing imo is to consciously consider what the other person may be thinking that they havent said.. there might be a lot more going on than we are aware of and kind, loving patience will create the best atmosphere for it to come to the surface and be discussed in a caring way together as a team."
Well said Nowheretorun! That's exactly right - it's not 3 dimensional communication like it is in person. Cantstop... just keep being honest with yourself and others.  Hugs, Einna |
| cantstopcrying
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#24
Oct 28, 2008, 02:06 PM
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As I was typing this came through: Mouse, I do not know
how to answer your ???? I do not know where I am personally to give you one. I know it does not help with your situation, I honestly do not know. So why, why send me that song? Did he really just "like the song" and not think of the lyrics? Is it the old mind games again or did it really remind him of us? You're right--who knows. No sense second guessing him and hurting myself in the process. That does not do me a lick of good! My face is the one with the mascarra streaming down it, not his. I take care of me, cannot--cannot!--let my happiness depend on a blessed email. Thank you all who stuck with me during my moments of insanity here! I appreciate it so much!!
__________________
____________________________________ "We can't talk at the same time! It doesn't work like that! I talk, you talk, I talk, you talk!!" ~ Peanut
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#25
Oct 28, 2008, 02:32 PM
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((cantstop))) you are processing this all in a healthy way, allowing yourself to have questions and misunderstandings.. thats ok... sounds like the friend thing is still going on.. would some breathing time help you both? your mind is quick to process and ask more questions, you seem to have a need for confirmation about something he isnt coming forward with.. i can almost feel the push/push and retreat dynamics going on for you.. with your abundance of energy, is it possible you are going much faster in thought and deed than he is?
dont blame yourself.. find a workable solution if able.. if not, still dont blame yourself.. you have a kind soul and you are a caring person.. someone is able to match your speed in a healthy way.. maybe its him, maybe not.... be your own best friend, find friends who support you and dont have an issue with it.. they are there and you are worth the wait... |
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