disappointment

I used to be part of another forum, when I chose to leave I exchanged email addresses with a few people. After a couple exchanges they just forgot about me. Now after more than a year someone seemingly emails me out of the blue - they asked if I remembered them and how I was. I write back and say I remember them, how I'm doing, and then ask how they are in turn. It's been over a week and they haven't replied. I know they have been online because I checked on the forum I knew the person from.

It makes me wonder if they were expecting or even hoping that I would send back some whiney reply saying how horrible things are.

It really hurts when people pretend to have an interest in me then just blows me off. It really hurts when people claim to be my friend but then abandon me.

It angers me that I'm supposed to grow beyond the pain of my childhood when I'm just as insignificant now as I was as a child.

Putting on a happy face, being positive, acknowledging the better aspects of my life - none of it has ever gained me a thing. Nothing gains me anything. People like me, when we are happy we don't appear to need people enough for anyone to care about us. When we are as I am now, we are too difficult to bother with. It's a stinking lose - lose situation.

I'm a human being - with feelings - what do I have to do to get people to treat me as anything but dirt?

Kal
I have not posted in awhile because of being hurt and scared....but after reading your post I had to reply.
Reading your post was like you were reading my thoughts in side my head EXACTLY. I know how you feel and you are NOT alone. I do not know how to go about talking to my T about this either. It is so hard to deal with period.
My depression is so BAD right now...I do NOT want to or have the will to hang on. I told my T today and he made me promise to call if I felt desperate anytime.
I just feel so LONELY and I do not know why.........I feel abandoned and do not know why..........my head is so messed up but the things you said in your post HIT a NERVE in me and I know how you feel all to well.
You can PM me anytime....hang in there you have a friend in me and I will be here anytime....
Take care

(((hugs))) to you both. Them are "snerts." They are everywhere... you have this site to come to....

I hate being disappointed in expectation.

I'm so sorry that you both are hurting right now. I wish I could gather you both up in a big, big hug and take you away to a place where no one ever hurts again. Please know that there are people here who care for you and will always talk to you and listen....xoxoxo pat

Yes that does hurt very much, even a lot.

(((((((((((Kalamity))))))))))))))

nightdream

(((((((((((((Kalamity))))))))))))

(((((((((((Hope4me2))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((Kal))))))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Hope)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hope - as much as it's a comfort to know we're not alone in our pain, it's also sad to know that anyone has to share our pain.

Thank you everyone.

Hi Kalamity -- It is hard to fathom such behavior. I'm sorry you are hurting.