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#1
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The self hate I feel poisons my relationships with others. My Dad always used to say, "You hate war, poverty, disease." But the only thing I've every really hated is myself.
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#2
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I really relate, John. That's the biggest thing dogging me now, I think. That voice is so bitterly cruel and relentless, and I KNOW it's not fair or true, but it has such power to undermine any little thing that could feel good. Hang in there........
J |
#3
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(((((((John))))))))))) Self-hate spreads. I'm sorry. I hope you can find something about yourself that you feel good about, and hang on to that. Big hugs.
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#4
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I can relate too. I've felt the best about myself when I've gone backpacking or to the Boundry Waters Canoe Area. It tests your physical strength so much, and you learn more about yourself in two days than you have in your lifetime! I'm not sure if this can apply to you or if you like the outdoors, but that's my experience
((((((((john)))))))) |
#5
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Hi John!!!
Self hatred is something I have posted about before and know the feeling all too well. My take on self hatred is the fact that I dont really know myself at all. I have been so consumed with others and their needs that I havent stopped to get to know me. The real me. I guess you can say I am at a point in my life where I am starting to discover myself. Taking more time for me and my family. I needed to do this because I dont want to go around hating myself for the rest of my life. Its like started a long term relationship. Very hard, very fragile but well, well worth it. I work with my T and PDoc very closely on this goal so I beleive I am on the right track. Have you though about therapy? Journaling? I do both. It helps so much. I try to write things down that I enjoy or things that have made me happy and I go from there. maybe you could try the same. I know how your feeling and its horrible and very lonely. Please know that your not alone and that you can turn your view of yourself around. Please keep posting as often as needed. Much love. |
#6
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John
Your not alone with this strong feeling....I too suffer from self HATRED.....I HATE myself so much cannot find anything good about myself.... I am so BAD....totally a BAD person....just talked to my T yesterday that my equation is bad things happened to me when I was little....+ I did bad things as I got older = I am a BAD person today.......he argued of course.....well he said we dissagreed....and then he said we agreed to not agreed on the subject for now but we talked about it but I do have a strong sense of self hatred that spreads over to other areas and then I end up hating other things as well.....so please others do not lecture me.....I am just letting John know he is NOT alone....take care John and be good to your self you need that ![]()
__________________
"My Therapist always says there is HOPE, so he continues to be my light of HOPE even on my darkest of days" |
#7
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hello john......i'm so saddened to read your post.....i have been keeping up with your previous posts and was shocked to read the outcome of that situation with that .what i felt.heartless woman......there is good in all of us and i hope that you find the way to see this in yourself......i care....contact me if you wish to chat..peace...julia
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#8
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anger (or hatred) can be good... if it strengthens us to a cause and a fight against injustices and things such as disease and poverty.
when we turn it against ourselves... it's often unwarranted and is very damaging. please don't hate yourself. you can hate me instead, if you wish.
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#9
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I understand the feeling completely. My self hatred also consumes everything that I do or think and it makes it impossible for me to fully enjoy the few things that I can muster up the energy to do.
As others have said, hang in there, cuz Im sure better days will be upon you.
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"So what can it be? No one hears me call. Echoes back at me...no one's there" |
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