[mytime]

nothing really to say, no explination. I am just not happy. I am but I am not. I love my kids, I hate my life, if it weren't for my kids... well things would have to change. But I love my kids and want to see them grow up and have their own families.

But things need to change for me, I can't keep this up

I am just sad, am crying now and no clue why. I just don't feel right

more to add

everything else in my life I go around feeling almost emotionless to. I feel nothing alot of the times, I feel like I am going through the motions, and times I cannot be bothered to do things.

Where is the answer??? How do I make this better, stress?????????

[jmo531]

First I want to say Welcome because I do not beleive we have me before and if we have, pardon me because I have no memory. LOL

I have been in your shoes and from time to time my depression will sneak back up on me and put me in that same frame of mind. However, I do see a Therapist and I take medication for my depression so it helps a great deal. I think your actions here say alot about you. Your need to feel better. You love your kids and want to see them grow up. That is good. You come here to vent your feelings. That is good. See that is the first step.

Do you currently see a Therapist? If so, I would discuss these feelings with him/her. If not, you can either check your insurance for one in your area or contact your local Mental health Services through the county in which you live. All counties have mental health resources and accept patient on a sliding scale fee. I see a Therapist through the county because my insurance "STINKS". So I pay out of pocket but the rewards are well worth it. I think that should be your next step.

Hang in there. It will get better. Sending hugs and peaceful vibes your way.

Jen

[cat_eye]

(((((((((mytime)))))))))

I totally understand what you're feeling, and where you're coming from. I agree with jmo...it's helpful to discuss your feelings with your therapist (if you have one).

[mytime]

now that I have decided to take these feelings seriously, I will be seeing my family dr tomorrow for a pysical anyway, what better time to mention the issues, as well I have signed up for ecounselling through my EAP, which is unfortunately all I have time for right now, between all my jobs and my 2 kids.

I don't know how to get through exactly what I am feeling to my DR though. Its hard for me to talk about, I usually just say everything is great, that my life is coming up roses, but I can't lie to myself anymore

there is something wrong, something majorly wrong cause this is just not me

I hope she has a solution!

[(JD)]

Write things down and read the list when you're there... I'm so depressed the last thing I want to do is try to remember and explain things to my MD!

[mytime]

that sounds like a plan, I know I have gone in before wanting to talk and never did, maybe I can just write it down and hand it to her?? Why do I find it soo hard to talk about, why can I not admit defeat and that I need help??

its so easy to say it here, but when I get tehre, I always make excuses for things and tell her everything is normal.. I have known her as my dr since I was a child, why is this so difficult for me. I cannot admit it to anyone IRL, even those whom I trust the most, and trust is not something I do easily, or even as I rule, there is no one I trust completely, but those I trust the most, I still cannot turn to them and say help me.

I think I will write everything down, and I f I chicken out again, just hand it to her, and maybe she will help then