Unheard

This morning I woke up in a severe panic attack. Not unusual for how my life has gone in the last two years. Today it was so bad that I have been screaming for help since 3 AM. No one is hearing my cries. I went to the local churches, called the local human services and community action programs, asked my only sister and father for help. Everyone has brushed me off telling me it is my problem- deal with it. Everything is draining my whole self concept. I need someone to help me. How do I successfully ask for help and actually get it.

I hear you puddles. Iam not a doctor, but I can be a friend. hang in there. You will get the help you need.

What's happening with you? Do you have any ideas why you feel so bad today? Do you know the numbers of any crisis lines where you live? I have found them to be very understanding at times. Take care

Today was the 6th anniversary of my mother's death. Also, at the time of he death (10:30 AM) my loving sister told me in not so pleasant terms to go take a hike and that she was not my rescuer. I spent most of the morning screaming for help with the various agencies in my town only to be turned down by everyone. I did not deal with that very well because of all the other issues that have been plaguing me over the last year.

So sorry to hear you are feeling so alone and so anxious. I have heard that sometimes we get nervous or anxious when it is the anniversary of a tragic event, even if we are not consciously aware of the anniversary! That's pretty powerful stuff...so, if you are conscious of the date and thinking about it...understandable to be upset. Sorry everyone is blowing you off. What type of help are you needing? Just someone to talk to? We're here!

Oh puddles, I feel for you so much. It breaks my heart to read that. I have begged for help before at my wit's end and felt rejected and uncared for as well. So, I know how you feel. People can be so cruel. I don't know if it's cause they don't know how to deal with it, but I bet if a friend had a problem you or I didn't know how to deal with we wouldn't turn our backs on them. Some people are just rude and cruel and lack compassion. It's sad, really. I'm sorry you are feeling like no one cares and I'm sorry people have treated you that way. I want you to know that you matter and deserve help, kindness and someone to listen to you. Sometimes, when people treat us like we don't deserve that, it hurts so much we start to believe it. I hope you don't believe that. Just know that because some people can be cruel and heartless it is no reflection on you or your worth. It is a reflection on them. A bad reflection. I believe you need professional help and I hope you can get it. Many people here will talk to you and listen, including myself, but you still need professional help. It is very disheartening to read that you are also getting no help from agencies. Are you referring to agencies that would help you with your mental health? Does anyone here know what she can do to get some help?

Hi puddles,

Feeling let down by those in your life on whom it seems logical to depend in times of need or crisis has a particularly deep and abiding sting; I know it well and I understand your frustration, sadness, and disappointment. I'm always stunned when I reach out to a family member or friend only to be told my problems are not theirs, or they engage in the subsequent diminishing of my concerns or of me. I know these reactions may be defense mechanisms in some or many instances, but in my opinion, it doesn't excuse the behavior. I've always believed storms weathered together test the true mettle of people and serve to strengthen relationships. I guess I'm often proved wrong.

I hope you're able to find some solace and support here on the site. There are many wonderful, caring, empathetic people here, and they have helped me greatly. I am very sorry for the loss of your mother, and realize the importance of being able to relate the myriad feelings that go along with such loss, even six years later. A sister seems a good place to start in that capacity, and it's awful that yours has been less than receptive. Perhaps she cannot face what has happened, or she is afraid to reminisce with you as that may open wounds for her. Obviously, I am only speculating. Please feel free to talk about your mom here--I and many others would be willing to read/listen.

All the best to you, puddles.

Hi Puddles, that must have been an incredibly rough day. Hope today is better and you get to take a walk and breathe the fresh air.

If you need to, next time this happens you can call a suicide hotline (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They are trained to deal with a variety of crisis situations. I'd be happy to read more too, if you wanna talk more about it. You're not alone here, so don't hesitate to reach out for help!