I dont know why i hurt so much

I am a 28 yom who just ended a 4 year realtionship. It like many onther s had its ups and downs. We have a wonderful 15 mo son as well. We broke up multiple time and got back together a lot, not so much sine our son was born. It was all my doin the breaking up part. In the beginning it was more convionient to be with her than without her. Despite the rocky relationship our love for each other grew. We both hurt each other mutiple times. She however had a different upbrining than i and that is were we differed. She claimed bankruptcy, she got fired from 2 jobs due to her work etrhic and inability to show up on time. Plus she was disrespectfull towrds most people ie when she was given her engaement ring it wasnt the one she wanted and she wasnt happy. I gave her appliances for her appartment and my parents gave her furniture foe every roomin the place and she said well it is better than nothing. Over the past few year I have bailed her out giving over 10,000 dollars because of her irresponsibility. WE get along pretty well beside her disrespectfulness and imaturity. She moved out a 2 weeks ago, and we agreed to stay good friends and to try to stay somewhat close. Well she started dating somone with int that time and we were in the car for a while they other day and she vcalled hiom and stayed in the phone for a long time and preceded to tell me that she really likes him and doens niot what to screw it up with him. She has treatted me crappy ever since, but then she calls like nothing has happened, and she still wnats to be friends like we spoke. Before she left i really didnt want to touch her, but know I want to hold her more than anything. No after what she has done these past few week have hurt me more than anything in the past. I thought my love for her was over when we were living together, she repulsed an annyoed me at times. I think some of the hurt is me realizing that my family is no more. And never will be with her. PLease help

Jimmy, i'm sorry for your pain right now. have you talked to a therapist? i think it would help if you made an appointment with a T and talk out your feelings towards her. it sounds as though she wants to end the relationship and you can't change that. the only thing that you can change is yourself and how you perceive things and how you respond. right now you need to take care of yourself. let her do whatever it is she wants to do. just take care of you. xoxoxo pat

I know but she is so hurtful to me and i know that i have done similar to her in the past. Thank you

Jimmy..I am soo sorry for your pain. It runs deeply, I know. Sounds like your GF does not know what love is. Don't let her pull you down with her. Be very careful!Good luck and keep us posted.

I am so sorry you are in so much pain right now. I know just how hard it can be to once have loved someone, not wanted to touch them, and then want them again. It's really hard to let go. Hang in there, you'll get through this. I'm here if you need to talk.

that always sends me over. i dont meet girls i like very often, and when i do, she is amazing or i dont waste my time. well i found one, and we got very close and we said we liked eachother and i thought the next step was her being my girlfriend. well asking her didnt work. then she says she still has feelings for another guy, who shes with now.

well i was with her tonight doing something for school and on the way back i think this dude called her. i was so good at acting cool the whole time...but it was killing me inside. now that im home, it hurts so bad.

honestly i dont know how some people can be so cold like that. and its the WORST when they still want to be friends, because theres no way out of it. i tried the no talking route, it didnt work.

my advice would be to try to find happiness in something that does not involve women, like South Park or driving fast. Meeting new people is also very good.

the thing that gets me the most is that i still think about her and she acts like nothing ever happened, and we got skin close and emotionally close. she is now being happy with some other guy. so, dont let yourself be me. try to find another happiness