sad, lonely, depressed and tired

I actually got outside today, and had some actual human contact, and I think it's made me realize how much I miss it.

Nobody I tried to call -- because, as we all know, sometimes typing just doesn't do it -- was home. I sent some emails, and I checked out all my groups, and my other websites, and nobody was there either. I live alone, which is a bite when you need to hear an actual voice coming out of an actual body that could conceivably give you an actual hug.

my T is leaving, and I'm depressed as ***** even *without* that factoring into it, and I'm having a massive attack of the lonelies, and while I know I have friends, there is this huge, gaping black hole inside of me that absolutely nobody, not even lots of people all at once, can fill. But right now I need somebody to try.

:~(

Candy

aww candybear *hugssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

I know its a painful place. . Its so difficult. Wish you could come over and watch steele magnolias with me or maybe what about bob and we could talk about the craziest thoughts we've had about our T.. or design ways for you to stalk your T thats leaving im just kiddin.. unless really do need stalkin tips
message me anytime.. we can press play on the vcr at the same time and pretend to have a slumber party

Yes, you are right. Sometimes typing just does not do it.

I am sorry you are feeling so lonely. A feeling I identify with very well.

((((candybear))))

(((((((((((Candybear)))))))))))))

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now. It must be very upsetting for you about your T. Then you come here and no one is "around". Hopefully, you will see all of these wonderful virtual friends soon and the great thing is, this post is always here. So, you can come and see it anytime you're feeling down. Sorry we can't jump out and give you hugs........

Hi Candybear! I'm so sorry you are this lonely. I struggle thru it each and every day. I cannot work with my mental and physical disabilities...I am viewed with disdain and pushed aside because of it.

This website helps me a great deal..as I am reminded that I am, indeed, not alone, at all! I also use music therapy to help connect me to the world. Do you like music? It can be a lifesaver. You will be ok, Candybear.

Take one day at a time.Even if you lack the inspiration to post...you can visit the site to see what your peers have to say.Take good care of yourself!! That is very important to remember. I dyed my hair a pretty, deep, red color and it looks great.

Can you afford to go to a manicurist? This is a very good way to feel better. I go once per month. ((((Hugz)))) to you!! Pm me if you'ld like.

I am sorry you are feeling so lonely, that feeling stinks ((((((( Candy ))))))))
Many hugs
Fuzzy

Sorry to hear about your lonliness--I'm feeling it, too. I'm staying in a crummy little motel, and I have very little contact with people. I have really been wanting to hang with a flesh and blood human, too--it really hurts.

Anyway, here's a ((((((((((virtual hug))))))))))--not the same for either of us, but at least it's sincere!

Feel Better Now!!!!
DJ

I know I've said this before but I wish there was a way those of us who would like to could somehow rent like a huge house somewhere. Like maybe one that is divided up into smaller apartments but we could have RL contact.

Just an idea...and probably a pipe dream...but I still like the idea!

{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}} {{{{{{Dave}}}}} {{{{{{Dottie}}}}}}

{{{{{Anyone else who needs a hug}}}}}}

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely Candybear. Loneliness sucks. I hope you get to catch up with one of your real-world friends soon, and get that real hug. In the meantime, here's another cyberhug {{{Candybear}}}. I feel for you.
{{{hugs for all the lonely people}}}

(((((((((( candy ))))))))))

thanks everyone, for the hugs. I am so fricking PATHETIC. I keep my cell phone charging in the kitchen, and the computer is in the bedroom, and while this isn't a huge apartment by any means, nevertheless my cell phone rings much quieter than a normal phone, and my hearing isn't that great.

I spent a lot of time online yesterday job-searching, mostly. This is how pathetic I am: I would swear to myself every so often that I heard the phone ringing -- it's the "Star Trek: Next Generation" theme song, can't miss it, LOL. I could actually HEAR the tune, faintly, and I'd go rushing out there, so excited that someone remembered I was alive, only to find that the phone hadn't rung at all.



Then we had all the nasty thunderstorms and stuff that the rest of the Midwest already got -- it poured, and we had thunder and lightning till about 3 this morning -- I was awake of course. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my therapist is moving out of state in 6 weeks, so I just laid in bed, depressed as hell, and listened to the thunder and rain. I went to bed around 10:30 pm and can safely say I have gotten perhaps an hour of sleep all night. I'm about to go sit in my favorite chair in the living room (a very comfortable chair!) and see if I can fall asleep in it.

And, no doubt, it will be another day of no reason to have a phone at all.

Sorry for all the whining. Thanks for letting me do it.

Candy

Please don't feel pathetic. Loneliness isn't pathetic! I remember feelings like this the first year I ever lived by myself. Actually, I have had these feelings of loneliness in my marriage(s) too.
But oh - that living alone and the phone doesn't ring. It is awful.

I really feel for you. And I hope you get some sleep!

(((candybear)))

Candy, maybe I could start a rent a pet center? You know, your lonely you can rent one of me pets. If your afraid and wondering if your feeling sorry for yourself I could rent the little guy who feels he needs to mark EVERYTHING! Whata test huh? I am sorry you are feeling poorly. Lonliness is a bear.

I wish I could tell you a story to cheer you. Okay, I have one. I have friends who literally live in the middle of nowhere, offgrid. They have a lot of sheep. Their old white great Pyrenees dog died and they were given another. The dog protected the flock from coyotes and bear. The other day my friend got a call from the neighbor, it appears that one of the lambs and the dogs decided to take a four mile walk and showed up at the neighbors. I guess he hasn't determined that he is supposed to be guarding the entire flock!

Well, it made me chuckle, funny picture in my head. I hope you have a brighter day.

How are you doing today Candybear?

thanks for asking, heartspace -- I had a pretty crappy day -- couldn't sleep at all last night, so slept off and on all day, didn't even get a shower or get dressed. Blah. I hate days like this. I hope tomorrrow is better.

Candy

Hope you are hanging in candybear

wisewoman, I love the idea of a rent-a-pet center, BTW. I would love to borrow a couple of your dogs for a day or two!

A friend recently told me a little nugget of wisdom she got from a kind landlord when she was looking for a place for her mom: Did you know that if you get a dr.'s order saying you NEED a pet for your health, they HAVE to let you have one? I don't know if that's just in MN, where she is, or all over, but I'm going to check it out! Every day I long for the companionship of some little furball. When I first went into the hospital, my best gf from grad school sent me a cute little stuffed dog. I hung onto that thing for dear life, literally. It's plush enough that "petting" it can trick you into thinking it's real fur, and I found it extremely comforting. In fact, most nights I still sleep with him. But real would definitely be better!

Candy, no matter where you are you are allowed a companion or therapy animal. Let me know if I can help. The animals connect me to the universe in a way I can't explain.

I know what you mean, wisewoman -- my dog was quite truly my best friend growing up. She's been dead 20 years and I still dream about her. Animals have something special to share with us, for sure.

BTW, the story about the dog and the lamb was a hoot! LOL thank you for sharing, it made me laugh.

Candy

Hiya {{{{{{Candy}}}}}

Stopping by to let you know I'm thinking of you and I care!!



Please PM me anytime!!!

Just wanted to say "Hi", Candybear...I would call just so you could hear the STNG theme, but you'll just have to imagine that it is me!

Many Hugs,
DJ

hehe thank you, DJ, that made me smile . I hope things are going better, or at least OK, for you.

Candy

Hi Candy! I hope things get better for you and that you feel more like yourself. Remember to take care - you were so sick not so long ago. I'm keeping you in my prayers, my friend.

Mary Alice

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Mary Alice}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} thank you for coming out of lurking to say hi. It always cheers me to hear from you.

I woke up at 2:30 pm today, another wasted day. I even set the alarm and everything, and it just zipped right by me. I did get to Blockbuster and the bank and to get my bangs trimmed, but it was at least 4 before I even got a shower. BAH. I don't know what is wrong with me.

Nobody called today, either, but at least I got to speak to an actual human being -- the order taker at Wendy's. ;-)

Thanks everyone, for the hugs and encouragement. It WILL get better.....I think.....maybe?

Candy

Candy, you are allowed to have a companion animal and a dog that can live cheaply would be my choice. Small, doesn't eat much, doesn't need grooming and has a good health history as a breed. Jack Russel would be a great protector as well as funny as all getout. Gotta love the babies!