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  #701  
Old Aug 28, 2012, 05:23 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Up until a little while ago today had been tolerable, with just a few tears flowing now and then when sad thoughts crossed my mind. But then, somewhat out-of-the-blue, a downturn.....negative thoughts swirling. Too many years of trying to convince myself that "not too bad" and "a little bit better" were enough. And even when things were at a good enough place that I was able to say that kind of thing to myself, there was always that looming reality that at any moment the illusion could disintegrate and the "truth" would come to the forefront once again. And how sad to think that when I'm feeling okay it's not even "real". Sigh. So sad. It just can't be that things were supposed to be this way.....that suffering so much should be considered "normal"....let alone acceptable. And I do mean for any of us who feel this way. It's really not fair at all.
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Thanks for this!
dazedandonfused

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  #702  
Old Aug 28, 2012, 05:29 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by optimize990h View Post
I got enough sleep but needed sleep meds. I had not slept properly for 3 nights. Hoping to re-establish a better regular sleep pattern.
Wishing you good luck with your sleep problems. I relate very much. Aside from having severe sleep apnea, bad ~sad thoughts have interrupted my sleep for many months now.....sure doesn't help the depression. Hugs.....
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  #703  
Old Aug 28, 2012, 09:53 PM
Anonymous32894
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I have had a tolerably reasonable day today. I got many things that I wanted to accomplish done. I still have a lot to do this week....this semester really.

One...foot...in....front....of...the..........other........
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Thanks for this!
whimsygirl
  #704  
Old Aug 28, 2012, 09:54 PM
Anonymous32894
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Originally Posted by regretful View Post
Feeling a bit upside down and inside out still...depressed and anxious, wondering if I'm making the right choices...

These days are the hardest. Hang in there
Thanks for this!
regretful
  #705  
Old Aug 28, 2012, 10:09 PM
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Dos3512 Dos3512 is offline
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Very very very very very very very very down! ugh!
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  #706  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 12:46 AM
vintyg vintyg is offline
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Hi ! , very down today missed my class . Just could not get out of bed . Totally clueless . Writing 'Suicide Note' , i write them often these days , just gives me peace . My head feels heavy and though i am very weak i am not feeling like eating anything . Had a bad incident yesterday , which really broke my already fragile confidence and what ever i did to cope up in last 7-8 days just shattered . Had i been my confident self i would have been able to take up that failure but in this state that i am every little thing seems insurmountable .I hate my self and hate the choices that i have made .
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  #707  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 07:51 AM
regretful regretful is offline
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Still in the midst of depression mixed with anxiety...it's a battle indeed.
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  #708  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 09:49 AM
dazedandonfused dazedandonfused is offline
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Really depressed today and I don't know why. I went to go help a friend who is seperating from her husband last night but I ended up feeling worse by the time I left. I felt like I was completely powerless and that I couldn't do anything but just listen and be there for her. I don't want to have to live this way. There's got to be happiness somewhere in this world.
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  #709  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 11:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandonfused View Post
Really depressed today and I don't know why. I went to go help a friend who is seperating from her husband last night but I ended up feeling worse by the time I left. I felt like I was completely powerless and that I couldn't do anything but just listen and be there for her. I don't want to have to live this way. There's got to be happiness somewhere in this world.
Hi dazed....Just a thought (what I believe).....There IS happiness out there in the world, even though you, and so many others of us are sometimes not able to see it, or even believe in it. But please try to remember that when you are not able to feel it it's because there is a terrible, unfair illness called depression....which we do NOT deserve. Whether it feels that way or not, and I've been dealing with all this for a long, long time....HOPE is out there, we just have to find it again. You are reaching out for help, and that's a wonderful step! Hope you find some comfort soon.....

Last edited by whimsygirl; Aug 29, 2012 at 12:01 PM.
  #710  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 11:52 AM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Therapy session later today. Going to be doing some more hypnosis. Hoping it helps, 'cause I've been feeling really "stuck" lately.....
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  #711  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 01:11 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dazedandonfused View Post
Really depressed today and I don't know why. I went to go help a friend who is seperating from her husband last night but I ended up feeling worse by the time I left. I felt like I was completely powerless and that I couldn't do anything but just listen and be there for her. I don't want to have to live this way. There's got to be happiness somewhere in this world.
Remember that depression does not need a reason.....the demon does not follow any rules

Last edited by whimsygirl; Aug 29, 2012 at 03:09 PM.
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  #712  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 01:18 PM
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Turtleboy Turtleboy is offline
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Feeling pretty good, a family member i don't want around me is trying to force their way back into my life and it's making me nervous because i know there is gonna be a lot of drama and stress no matter what i do
  #713  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 01:58 PM
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Wednsday and am shut in the house again let my afternoon appointment go just want the world to go way today.
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  #714  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 02:08 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turtleboy View Post
Feeling pretty good, a family member i don't want around me is trying to force their way back into my life and it's making me nervous because i know there is gonna be a lot of drama and stress no matter what i do
Good luck with your family member.....
Thanks for this!
Turtleboy
  #715  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 07:46 PM
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Atlantis Atlantis is offline
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It's been about a week since I started feeling more depressed than usual. Ziprasidone was working but I feel it's wearing off. Feeling extremely tired and uninspired. Work production is slow. I feel numb and am avoiding things. Unmotivated and unable to get pleasure out of anything. Typically depressed. Trying to shake it any way I can.
__________________
Dx: Atypical depression/anxiety/OCD
Old Rx: 250 mg clomipramine, 160 mg ziprasidone, 90 mg mirtazapine
New Rx: 20 mg aripiprazole, 200 mg disulfiram
New Rx 2: 30 mg tranylcypromine
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  #716  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 08:59 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Really good therapy session today, including some hypnosis. I've felt quite a bit calmer ever since. Oh how I am wishing for some better days.....
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  #717  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 10:04 PM
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Feeling better since doctor added Abilify to the Cymbalta. Had started getting a bit blue again. The Abilify is great, except it usually makes me retain water. lets see if it does it this time -- I had to quit using it once before.

Got diagnosed with COPD too, and that's not making me want to jump hoops. So now I'm on rescue inhalers, other pills, etc. NUTS. But I did it to myself, and now I must reform. Patches, here I come.

Wishing all a better day. God bless & love to all. Hugs, Lee
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  #718  
Old Aug 29, 2012, 10:19 PM
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optimize990h optimize990h is offline
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I did go out but it was like an errand with minimal human contact. I did do a phone call, which I hate, and had to deal with an answering machine. Hoping to do more errands soon. Mood is blah.
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  #719  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 09:08 AM
dazedandonfused dazedandonfused is offline
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Not much to say just
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  #720  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 10:16 AM
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agma agma is offline
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Just spent a week in the hospital. I am feeling really depressed this morning. I see my pdoc tomorrow, and I am nervous because I will have to tell him what I did.
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  #721  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 10:18 AM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Still feeling more calm this morning, after my session yesterday Through hypnosis my therapist is helping me to (finally) let go of some of my feelings of sadness and anger after being abandoned by my bff a few months ago. Of course it's still one moment at a time....as always....but I'm feeling a bit more hopeful than I have been lately, and possibly feel some comfort coming my way..... ps....Hugs to all

Last edited by whimsygirl; Aug 30, 2012 at 12:22 PM.
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  #722  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 11:58 AM
regretful regretful is offline
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Today, anxiety has wrestled depression from the forefornt of my mind...It's been a battle...
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  #723  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 03:58 PM
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day started fine by forcing myself out of the house and then went down hill. feeling very anxious and trying hard to not take anything. hoping the evening gets better.
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  #724  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 04:01 PM
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alone in the world alone in the world is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsygirl View Post
Still feeling more calm this morning, after my session yesterday Through hypnosis my therapist is helping me to (finally) let go of some of my feelings of sadness and anger after being abandoned by my bff a few months ago. Of course it's still one moment at a time....as always....but I'm feeling a bit more hopeful than I have been lately, and possibly feel some comfort coming my way..... ps....Hugs to all
glad your session was great. going to try and use your calmness. keep moving forward it inspires me to see others are where I want to be.
Thanks for this!
whimsygirl
  #725  
Old Aug 30, 2012, 04:26 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alone in the world View Post
glad your session was great. going to try and use your calmness. keep moving forward it inspires me to see others are where I want to be.
Hi alone.....Thanks so much for your kind words. I only wish I could somehow transfer some of my better feelings over to you..... Warm Wishes
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