[Bark]

Moved back into dorms. I'm worried of what my roommate will think of me. We met yesterday, but you always look your best the first day, then it goes downhill from there. And it does look like we're total opposites, just looking at what's on our shelves. Ah well, I can't forget how my last roommate left in the middle of the semester supposedly because of me. I'm hoping these meds kick in, and make me less lazy about cleaning stuff up and less anxious about what my roommate thinks of me. I wonder if I'm asking too much.

[ExiExi]

I'm unable to do anything right.. feel wicked, weak and worthless.

[MotherMarcus]

It's been ages since I've posted. Anyone else ever experience what I call BRAIN-LOCK ? Basically my mind just keeps spinning until it feels like 2 ball-bearings rubbing together .

[Rose76]

I'm doing pretty good. The aches and pains from my trip to the gym have eased. Finally, my medication regimen is really helping me. Neurontin (Gabapentin) is helping my aches and my anxiety - glad this drug was recommended to me.

[whimsygirl]

I've been trying to deny it....fight it for the past few days, but today I just can't. I feel completely without hope or perspective, or any sign of positive thought. I think I am going to drown in my own tears. I'm not thinking about actively "ending things", but I sure don't have any desire to continue. I have a therapy session today, but as much as I love my therapist, I feel too lost to believe in help being possible. Just so sad.....

[Shadow-world]

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

I've been trying to deny it....fight it for the past few days, but today I just can't. I feel completely without hope or perspective, or any sign of positive thought. I think I am going to drown in my own tears. I'm not thinking about actively "ending things", but I sure don't have any desire to continue. I have a therapy session today, but as much as I love my therapist, I feel too lost to believe in help being possible. Just so sad.....

Sorry you're feeling so down, Whimsy. I hope the therapy session can make some difference.

[agma]

It was a LONG week. Returning back to work on a Monday was not a good idea....I am exhausted! I was supposed to see T Monday morning, but she called earlier this evening and said that she might have to cancel . She said she would call me Sunday night or Monday morning if she does need to cancel. The possibility of her canceling makes me anxious and angry.

[alone in the world]

Day ending with me becoming anxious and unsure of my ability to not abuse the xanax. Just wish the days of filling good could stay into the evening.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Shadow-world

Sorry you're feeling so down, Whimsy. I hope the therapy session can make some difference.

Shadow.....Thanks so much for your support. Actually the session did help in ways. My therapist never fails to amaze me with her kindness, just one example.....she actually reduced her charge for me from today forward, understanding that I am under a great amount of financial stress, and have no health insurance. I am so blessed to have found her. ps.....I hope you are feeling better too.

[Turtleboy]

Seem to be feeling ok again, was so worried that i was back to the start again, but things are on the up

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

I've been trying to deny it....fight it for the past few days, but today I just can't. I feel completely without hope or perspective, or any sign of positive thought. I think I am going to drown in my own tears. I'm not thinking about actively "ending things", but I sure don't have any desire to continue. I have a therapy session today, but as much as I love my therapist, I feel too lost to believe in help being possible. Just so sad.....

((((Whim)))) bunches of hugs to you

[Rose76]

I'm doing pretty good. I'm trying to straighten out the chaos that took over my apartment when I was very depressed - piles of unfiled paperwork, areas of messiness. My place is looking a whole lot better, but there is a lot more to do.

I don't get as much done in a day as I plan. Then that starts to get me depressed. My new resolution is to be glad for what I do get done. This is so much better than when I was horribly down and used to do absolutely nothing for days at a time.

I don't know how to move quotes from other posters. (But I will learn.) I really feel for those of you above who are very down. I've been there and I understand. The seemingly endless struggle can be so demoralizing.

I've also been relieved of the daily suicidal thinking that was plaguing me for months. Recovery feels good. I know I have to work at it, if I want it to last.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I'm doing pretty good. I'm trying to straighten out the chaos that took over my apartment when I was very depressed - piles of unfiled paperwork, areas of messiness. My place is looking a whole lot better, but there is a lot more to do.

I don't get as much done in a day as I plan. Then that starts to get me depressed. My new resolution is to be glad for what I do get done. This is so much better than when I was horribly down and used to do absolutely nothing for days at a time.

I don't know how to move quotes from other posters. (But I will learn.) I really feel for those of you above who are very down. I've been there and I understand. The seemingly endless struggle can be so demoralizing.

I've also been relieved of the daily suicidal thinking that was plaguing me for months. Recovery feels good. I know I have to work at it, if I want it to last.

And more hugs Rose

[whimsygirl]

Developed horrible tooth and gum pain late yesterday, making it almost impossible to sleep last night. Called my dentist and going in for an emergency appointment in a couple of hours......

[tigerlily84]

Called yesterday to make an appointment with a therapist that works on a sliding scale. I haven't been to therapy since my breakdown a few yrs ago, but I need it. Unfortunately he doesn't have an opening until November... lol.

[Kingsley85]

I saw my therapist for the first time in a month and a half. I wasn't allowed to see her while I was in my partial hospitalization program. It's a little weird not seeing her for so long, there was a lot to catch up on. Overall I'm feeling pretty sad and moody, tomorrow is a new day though.

[Bark]

I felt really anxious at one point today, not really sure why. I was helping out, which is supposed to make me feel better, but then I started feeling really tense and kind of wanting to get away. The negative thoughts of me not doing anything right or not being useful lingered in the background. It took me by surprise, I really couldn't figure it out. Later on I felt much better, more like my normal self: negative thoughts still swirling around, but more under control, without the tight feeling in my chest, and being able to joke and laugh.

Now I'm starting to think too much again. Why can't I cut myself some slack....

[whimsygirl]

Update post Saturday visit to my dentist.....I need a root canal soon. Ugh. Oh well. On the bright side, though, everyone at the office is amazingly kind.....always. Makes the bad news a little bit easier to take...... Hope everyone's doing okay, or as okay as possible, anyway.....

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

Called yesterday to make an appointment with a therapist that works on a sliding scale. I haven't been to therapy since my breakdown a few yrs ago, but I need it. Unfortunately he doesn't have an opening until November... lol.

tigerlily84--if you can't wait till November I'm sure there are many other Ts who would be willing to charge on a sliding scale. Good luck!

[CloudyDay99]

Feeling okay but a little sad.

[TerryL]

I'm doing pretty good.

I don't know how to move quotes from other posters.

Hi Rose, I am so glad to see you are continuing to feel good. fyi, if you want to reply to certain parts of a post you can just click the "reply" button inside the post (bottom right) and then highlight the section you want to reply to. Then look for the Quote icon above the message text. It looks like a square with a tail underneath. Click that. The word "QUOTE" will appear before and after the section. Just do this for whatever sections you want to address. and delete the rest. I'm not sure if there is an easier way to do it but that is how I do it. hth.

[Turtleboy]

I don't know what is going on with me, one day i'm ok and the next i feel horrible, i do have a lot on my mind it must be getting to me more than i realise

[MotherMarcus]

Beautiful day out yesterday. Had my butt glued to the couch all day.

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by TerryL

Hi Rose, I am so glad to see you are continuing to feel good. fyi, if you want to reply to certain parts of a post you can just click the "reply" button inside the post (bottom right) and then highlight the section you want to reply to. Then look for the Quote icon above the message text. It looks like a square with a tail underneath. Click that. The word "QUOTE" will appear before and after the section. Just do this for whatever sections you want to address. and delete the rest. I'm not sure if there is an easier way to do it but that is how I do it. hth.

Thanks for that Terry....I've been trying to figure it out too

[Kingsley85]

Originally Posted by TerryL

tigerlily84--if you can't wait till November I'm sure there are many other Ts who would be willing to charge on a sliding scale. Good luck!

I agree try to find another one Nov is too far but just in case it might be good to make that Nov appointment in case there really is nothing. You can always cancel it when you find a closer appointment.