[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by queen_of_hearts

im feeling really confused and depressed today. i feel like im destined for failure and that i will never be good enough for anyone

I feel that way sometimes....maybe more than sometimes. Hope you are doing better. (((queen_of_hearts)))

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by regretful

I just can't seem to fullly get my act together...still bouncing between anxious and depressed...

Yeah, I know those kind of days. It is hard to find something that will pull me away from that type of day. I find it hard to focus on things that take me away from vacillating feeling.

[Leed]

I'm having a really rough time. Even tho I'm on medication I'm hitting the skids because my son is dying -- and it's really got me spiral. I know this is temporary -- how long I don't know.

My son is dying from alcoholism, and has been in the hospital for more than a week. We've seen it coming for years, but when it hits it's like a kick in the gut. He's in ICU right now, and his liver has stopped working. His organs are failing, but he keeps hanging on. He has a strong will to live, and I just wish God would take him home, so he wouldn't keep suffering!!! He's in a lot of pain -- they're trying to keep him comfortable of course. But I HATE to see him suffer.

So that's where I am right now. I know this won't last. I hate depression. I've been depressed since I was a small child, so I'm no "newbie" to it. YUCK.

[TerryL]

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm having a really rough time. Even tho I'm on medication I'm hitting the skids because my son is dying -- and it's really got me spiral. I know this is temporary -- how long I don't know.

My son is dying from alcoholism, and has been in the hospital for more than a week. We've seen it coming for years, but when it hits it's like a kick in the gut. He's in ICU right now, and his liver has stopped working. His organs are failing, but he keeps hanging on. He has a strong will to live, and I just wish God would take him home, so he wouldn't keep suffering!!! He's in a lot of pain -- they're trying to keep him comfortable of course. But I HATE to see him suffer.

So that's where I am right now. I know this won't last. I hate depression. I've been depressed since I was a small child, so I'm no "newbie" to it. YUCK.

(((((((Lee)))))) I'm so sorry your son is dying It must be so painful to see him suffer. My thoughts are with you both.

[Leed]

Thank you Terry. I really appreciate it --- you don't know how much.

[Shadow-world]

Originally Posted by Leed

I'm having a really rough time. Even tho I'm on medication I'm hitting the skids because my son is dying -- and it's really got me spiral. I know this is temporary -- how long I don't know.

My son is dying from alcoholism, and has been in the hospital for more than a week. We've seen it coming for years, but when it hits it's like a kick in the gut. He's in ICU right now, and his liver has stopped working. His organs are failing, but he keeps hanging on. He has a strong will to live, and I just wish God would take him home, so he wouldn't keep suffering!!! He's in a lot of pain -- they're trying to keep him comfortable of course. But I HATE to see him suffer.

So that's where I am right now. I know this won't last. I hate depression. I've been depressed since I was a small child, so I'm no "newbie" to it. YUCK.

(((((Lee!))))) I am very sorry you have to go through this. It must be an awful experience.

[Rose76]

Lee - I'm very sorry for the sorrow you are facing. It is terribly hard to see someone we love, especially your own child, suffer. It is beyond what any medication can alleviate. We are here for you. I send you ((((HUGS)))) Rose

(I don't know how to bring down quotes, so I put this in blue, as the original is.)

[whimsygirl]

Cleaned out ~organized the garage yesterday, and it felt good (way overdue). Got a lot still to do today....tring to get ready for the carpet cleaners to come on Wednesday....but I'm cautiously optimistic. Mood pending.

[irishpackerfan]

did 10 hours yesterday. Being a busboy isnt easy but its money. I got drunk after didnt change my work clothes now i gotta rash on the most uncomfortable spot of my maniables. ughhhhhhhh i cant walk

[regretful]

In a weird space right now...depression is settling in a bit, but it's not debilitating; and when the depression abates, anxiety moves right in...

[MotherMarcus]

Had a good day out yesterday. Today, just lazy in front of the boob-tube.

((((Lee))))

[alone in the world]

daily check in 2 feeling not so negative p/c from T because she was concerned , makes me feel some one care. ggot out of the bed today and trying hard tokeep it that way. visualizing the dark side is very scary.

[konrei]

Had a great day online but not going out because it's too hot outside.

[whimsygirl]

Suddenly a couple of hours ago, for reasons unknown....or non-existent(?), felt myself being slowly pulled towards the big black hole. Damn it demon....leave me alone!!

[turquoise4]

I am really struggling tonight. I am so upset and depressed. I want to curl up and cry

[regretful]

I am a huge bundle of nerves that is very nervous today...

Looking forward...hopeful

[alone in the world]

got up in an hurry and now I am going to keep going hoping that keeps me in a positive mood as I have not spent the day out in weeks and I am scared but proud of myself.

[whimsygirl]

Was actually able to go back to sleep for a while this morning (after waking up too early), with 2 of my cats cuddled up and purring Got up feeling questionable, but hmm, I actually think I might be okay today. Only time will tell.....

been feeling up too!

it's been fun being on cloud 9 with no voices or anything.

[optimize990h]

kept busy doing errands yesterday. maybe got a bit closer to a friend. still walking on egg shells with regards to that. but, overall positive compared to earlier posts.

**caution ** may trigger **

I felt so good before i went to see you (nervous but that is typical). One little question in therapy though (which i wasnt prepared to answer), and now it is bothering me tremendously.

I feel as if it is consuming me. So i am not feeling great.

It really triggered me and brought up painful memories...anger, frustration, terrible sadness...right beneath the surface. I am thinking about it entirely too much and it is eating away at me. "It just doesn't matter" in this case, does not apply

How can I begin to explain how devastating it was for me when she was murdered, taken away. again. and equally, how enraged I am (still) with the man that did it? And how po'd i am that it was my other sisters' father that did it. And they forgave him. In front of my face. And i had to sit there like a good sister and be supportive of them. For their recovery. I couldnt say a thing.

And there is nothing I can do about it because he was a coward of worst kind. And I had to show a brave face and not misplace my anger. So as usual, I turned it all inward. And suffered. And the sisters moved on. Well except for one other. She died. But that is another story. And she also had a different father. And different struggles and pain.

No justice.

Just another disaster leaving me to pick up the pieces. Alone. With no support. At all. I hate all of you. I miss our mom.

I just want this awful feeling to go away...but it seems all so complicated. Damn. This is going to be a long week until next session. I am so hurting right now.

[aeman]

Considering I am posting this on aforum of complete strangers, I am seriously questioning my sanity. But I am badly trapped amd I have no other options. Sinking hard and fast into depression, I need to make it go away. Everything is compeletely screwed up and I feel like a zombie- lifeless

[ExiExi]

I have no idea what I am feeling right now.
Need new head.