When it keeps getting worse...

What do you do when no matter what you try the depression just keeps on getting worse? More and more is heaped on to the pile that sits atop my shoulders every minute of every day. I feel like I'm at the breaking point...as in, the camel's back can take only one more straw...

So, learned and supportive fellow current and former depression sufferers, what do you do?

Any input is certainly welcomed.

Tearfully,
regretful

Oh my Friend....I am so very sorry about the depth of your suffering, and I wish so very much I had something new and helpful to say. I believe I have been where you are, with different details of course, and there are definitely days when I know ~feel I am heading back in that direction. I think it is only by the grace of God (or whoever) that I have not gone all the way back there as of yet. Maybe not quite that low, but low enough to remind me that I might, and that is a horrific concept to live with. I think your particular situation is complicated, because as long as you are not able to close down your business, then obviously this is a "given"....so I believe you must go back....once again to the Serenity Prayer, this time to "the courage to change the things I can". And before I say another word let me say this: I get it! When this demon is torturing you, you do not FEEL like you have any power to make any difference in ANYTHING....but you do. They might not all seem to make a difference, but then again just the act of trying is a positive thing, and may "register" on some level that you don't even recognize immediately. So I know you're seeing a therapist, can't remember if you're back on meds? So for what it's worth just a few thoughts. Don't know if they'll mean anything to you, but still. I mentioned to you the testing I had done to show the levels of serotonin and norepinephrine in my brain....might this be something you could ask a doctor ~about? If there are physical reasons adding to your state of being, wouldn't that be a good thing to know? (Plus if your levels are off, a good provider might be able to use this information to help prescribe meds and /or supplements that might help.) Otherwise, do you use "light therapy" at home. I know people who been helped by this. Okay, well I'll stop here for now. Warm wishes and hugs.....

Hi whimsygirl, Thanks for the insightful reply. The situation I'm in is so complicated, I can't even begin to think about the layers of complex things that would have to occur for this business to be a memory...Therapy can't be coming soon enough (next Tuesday PM)...MD visit tomorrow, and I'll ask him about anything that might test the serotonin and norepinephrine levels. I know one thing for sure, something just isn't right. And despite my reservations about it, I think I'm ready for medication again. Just hope that I can find the right one...nothing left to do right now but sleep at an inappropriate time...I'll drift off thinking about the serenity prayer. I'm actually doing something to change my situation by actively seeking other employment. Not sure how that is going to work out, but I'm working on it...again, thank you so much for the warm wishes and hugs. I wish you the same.

Hi my friend -- make sure you ask your doc about a medication that won't take the "usual" 6 weeks to take effect. Meds such as Cymbalta take only about 2-3 wks to take effect, which is MUCH better! It's bad enough to have to wait in the first place, let alone 6 weeks!! There may be others that don't take as long too, but I'm not familiar with them.

I know you have so much on your plate right now -- I wish there was a quick fix to it all. But I guess the only answer is acceptance that it's going to get solved when it gets solved. As they say in AA -- "Acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today." And it's true for me. I've saved myself many an ulcer thru acceptance. LOL God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

Hello Lee,

Thanks for the reply. I'm sure there is no quick fix...wish there was, but then this problem of depression is not something that arrived quickly either, so I should not expect any quick fix...I'll ask about the anti-depressants with quicker action. Cymbalta was suggested by my friend (who is an excellent psychiatrist), so that might be the route I go...but who knows. Thanks for the AA saying. I've got to remember that one...I'll keep you all posted, and I thank you all so much for the support an encouragement. Some day I'll be able to make a post in the "success stories" section of this forum. for now though, back to sleeping at an inappropriate time...

Forgot to mention the first time around, but it's great to hear about the "other employment" thing, and good luck with it! Can't resist the temptation to write the (perhaps) trite, but oh-so-true statement of the long journey beginning with a single step. One step at a time, right? And I just have to add this....from my own battle with depression one of the things I have learned is that any time you can embrace, even if only for a moment....the concept of possibilities in the future....it's a good thing.

thank you for that...the other employment thing is something to shoot for...I'm down but I'm not out (how's that for a trite cliche?)...I'm doing the best I can to embrace the possibilities of the future without getting caught back into the negative thinking of depression...I contacted four of my colleagues who are all happy to be references for me. They know the quality of my mental health work...so that's a plus. I'll keep you all posted...I do know that this depression would lift if I had something good to report about this business endeavor...a great business, but one that I can't handle anymore due to lack of interest...someday I'll be able to say that I successfully closed it, and that, even better, someone bought it from me and is making it very successful. That's my "someday" wish for the future. I know it is all uncertain, even the next minute, but that's what I'm hoping for. And when I start thinking about hopeful future scenarios, the depression lifts just a little bit...

I think i know how you feel. I hope we can both look back real soon to this day and be in a lot better frame of mind.

Thank you jlmass...today I'm in about the same state of mind. I was prescribed an anti-depressant today. The last two I tried plagued me with side-effects...I hope that this one is effective, and agree with your sentiments about looking back real soon!

I know how you feel. It would be so nice if we could just speed up the recovery process at times. Sitting and waiting just adds to the depression, at least for me. I can only speak from personal experience but what has worked for me is, unfortunately, riding it out and being patient as far as treatment goes.

I wish you luck with your anti-depressant trial just try to be as patient as possible. Believe me, I know how annoying it can be to wait and wait for a new med to only potentially work for you. I've been down in the depths for quite some time now and it doesn't seem like anything will work for the depression side of my bipolar.

Anyway, I wish you a much more speedy recovery than myself.

Sorry your feeling so bad and sorry i can't offer any advice that will help because i feel just like you. I don't know how to handle it and how to cope. I feel like i'm going to fall apart every day and wonder why things keep going wrong and why can't i just have a break. I feel you and hope that you (and I) can find helpful suggestions on how to cope.

Took the first step back into the world of anti-depressant medication today. I know it will take a couple of weeks, at least...I can certainly get out of the depths on a Saturday, but come Monday all the nonsense comes back full force. Time to change my situation...

Take one moment at a time and NEVER give up. God has a plan for your life and you must never give into the darkness. The light is always shinning even though it may be behind a dark cloud. I pray God's blessing and grace for your life. I pray the morning brings the sun!

That is very nice of you to say. I know that the light is always shining, and I won't ever give up. I appreciate the encouragement.

I'm happy for you in your faith....but where does that leave us agnostics?? (Rhetorical.)

What I did was to take each moment at a time. Know that each moment is just a split second and something does shift in you. This helped me stop worrying so much and it also gave me the ability to appreciate life even at negative times. So when it is at it's worse, try thinking that the moment will pass and keep doing this whenever a moment weakens you.

Sometimes there are many, many negative moments together. But if you split them up, they become a little bit easier to deal with.

Thank you so much for this....I think it's wonderful!!

Hi whimsygirl,

You're welcome. I am glad it can help, that it is purpose And I hope that it will work as well for you and others as it has for me.

@whimsygirl-sometimes my faith is the only thing that keeps me from going insane. please know I am also a realist and know how intense mental illness can be. I have a bipolar (horribly violent when I was growing up) father, a teenage son who battles depression and has for 10 years. He is currently on 3 medications that need to be tweaked again. I think without knowing the good Lord understands my crazy heart and mind, I would probably just become statics and take the easy way out. I refuse to repeat my family's history with my own children.