[Livebythesea]

I'm suffering from major depression going on 6 months now (been depressed on and off for the last four years). When I am depressed I don't have anything positive to say, at all, and I isolate from friends/family because it's sooo hard to keep up a happy face, be happy that their lives are going well etc - I would rather be alone and with you folks who hopefully understand.

My husband told me he spoke to a very good friend of mine and basically she said that my friends may not be around when I come out of this depression. It was very hurtful and I know she and my goddaughter are probably hurt too since I am a total recluse, haven't seen them in 6 months and talked to my friend once, but it's still hurtful, on top of the hurt and guilt depression brings with it.

Has anyone lost family/friends due to their isolation and this ugly disease?

Thanks

oh.. i totally get what you say about being happy that others lives are going well.

i get that all the time.. people say to me- i'm doing this, i'm doing that.. and i'm thinking to myself... yeah?. well that's good for you. look where i am- stop going on about how great your life is, how nothing seems to be bringing you down and for once think of someone like me.

i can't really say i lost my family to my mental illness (as they were never really their for me anyway) but friends, totally.

don't get me started on all the stigma surrounding someone with a mental illness.. i'll have you here until christmas next year

[Insignificant other]

Yes I've lost my family because of this illness. I've been depressed for a very long time and cant seem to get out of it. Some days I'm ok but it never lasts, I hate it. I wish there was a way to rid myself of this.
It's usually very bad starting this time of year .. I think its the pressure on us to be more social.. Im not good at that.

[dillpickle1983]

I've been in a deep dark depression for over a year now. I've been hospitalized 6 times so far this year. Lost my job, lost my insurance. I lost a few friends over it but we weren't really that close to begin with. I have 3 friends that I can really count on, they know what it's like to be me. Either they have the same or another mental illness or god gave them grace and bliss to understand the hurt. I know that I have friends on here that are always very supportive. Roadie a member on here always checks in on me every few weeks to make sure I'm still ticking, which means alot to me. But yeah to answer the question, I have lost friends and family because of my isolation and in general not letting anyone in. I usually just stop talking to people when I recluse and it goes from there. Hope you feel better soon.

[Livebythesea]

Chandler I'm sorry you have had such a hard year. I also lost my job and insurance due to this disease...it's so hurtful on top of everything we already deal with. I was hospitalized about 5 years ago with first bout of depression. It's good to hear you have close friends who understand and that we have this forum.

Thank you

[Livebythesea]

Shattered Sanity and Insignificant Other thank you for your replies. This time of year is sooooo hard. I was depressed two years ago during the holidays...how much more do we have to deal with?!

[anjelmarie]

Depression has ruined my life. I tried to reach out to family and friends and explain to them why i was withdrawing and the fact that i can't have conversation with anyone and i don't want to talk about my miserable life so that is why i don't call or answer the phone. Some people didn't even respond at all and a few just said that they were depressed too but they still have to go to work and take care of kids and blah blah blah. Basically making me feel like a wimp for letting it take me over. I had a breakdown basically and even now my therapist is trying to talk me into being hospitalized and i refuse. But losing everyone when you are in such emotional pain is just unbearable. I live with my bf but he is not supportive he doesn't want to talk about any problems and doesn't want to hear me talk about my feelings. I have my T. once a week when she is available and that is it. I feel for you and all i can say is just reach out to people who are going through the same thing like people on this site. You can try a group in your area for depressed people. I tried that and it didn't do much for me but it may for you. I wish you all the best. And yes i too hate holidays. I am having a hard time with it and without support it just makes it that much harder. Prayers to you and everyone going thru this.

[Leed]

Thankfully I haven't lost family, but I've lost every friend I ever had EXCEPT ONE, which i've had since I was 4 years old (I'm 63 now). She's been with me thru some very trying times, as well as some very joyful tmes. She's a TRUE friend, and I value her friendship more than anything.

But as for the others -- I guess they weren't really TRUE friends in the first place. They certainly didn't understand depression. Some of them have since gone thru some very serious issues, so maybe they now know what it's like -- I don't know. But I can't be concerned about them now. I must be concerned about keeping my own head above water especially now at holiday time, which is very depressing to me. I HATE the holidays as it always puts me in the pits.

God bless, "Livebythesea" and please take care of yourself. Just take care of YOU the best you can. Hugs, Lee

[Livebythesea]

Originally Posted by anjelmarie

Depression has ruined my life. I tried to reach out to family and friends and explain to them why i was withdrawing and the fact that i can't have conversation with anyone and i don't want to talk about my miserable life so that is why i don't call or answer the phone. Some people didn't even respond at all and a few just said that they were depressed too but they still have to go to work and take care of kids and blah blah blah. Basically making me feel like a wimp for letting it take me over. I had a breakdown basically and even now my therapist is trying to talk me into being hospitalized and i refuse. But losing everyone when you are in such emotional pain is just unbearable. I live with my bf but he is not supportive he doesn't want to talk about any problems and doesn't want to hear me talk about my feelings. I have my T. once a week when she is available and that is it. I feel for you and all i can say is just reach out to people who are going through the same thing like people on this site. You can try a group in your area for depressed people. I tried that and it didn't do much for me but it may for yoEu. I wish you all the best. And yes i too hate holidays. I am having a hard time with it and without support it just makes it that much harder. Prayers to you and everyone going thru this.

So much of what you have written on this and another post could have come from my little depressed mouth...thank you. I looked for a depression group but didn't see one nearby. My T also talked to me about going to the hospital...that was the last time I saw here about 2 months ago. Thank you

[Livebythesea]

Originally Posted by Leed

Thankfully I haven't lost family, but I've lost every friend I ever had EXCEPT ONE, which i've had since I was 4 years old (I'm 63 now). She's been with me thru some very trying times, as well as some very joyful tmes. She's a TRUE friend, and I value her friendship more than anything.

But as for the others -- I guess they weren't really TRUE friends in the first place. They certainly didn't understand depression. Some of them have since gone thru some very serious issues, so maybe they now know what it's like -- I don't know. But I can't be concerned about them now. I must be concerned about keeping my own head above water especially now at holiday time, which is very depressing to me. I HATE the holidays as it always puts me in the pits.

God bless, "Livebythesea" and please take care of yourself. Just take care of YOU the best you can. Hugs, Lee

Thank you LEED. I truly hate the holidays...reminds me of all of the good times I used to have and the family that is now gone. Thank you for your response I will try to take care of myself...as hard as that is.

[hester91]

Originally Posted by chandlerT660

I've been in a deep dark depression for over a year now. I've been hospitalized 6 times so far this year. Lost my job, lost my insurance. I lost a few friends over it but we weren't really that close to begin with. I have 3 friends that I can really count on, they know what it's like to be me. Either they have the same or another mental illness or god gave them grace and bliss to understand the hurt. I know that I have friends on here that are always very supportive. Roadie a member on here always checks in on me every few weeks to make sure I'm still ticking, which means alot to me. But yeah to answer the question, I have lost friends and family because of my isolation and in general not letting anyone in. I usually just stop talking to people when I recluse and it goes from there. Hope you feel better soon.

ChandlerT,
I really just wanted to "talk" to someone who knows what its like to be in the hospital 6 Times in one year. A few years ago I was hospitalized 6 times, including for ECT. So glad that I read your Post.

[hester91]

[QUOTE=Livebythesea;2701692]I'm suffering from major depression going on 6 months now (been depressed on and off for the last four years). When I am depressed I don't have anything positive to say, at all, and I isolate from friends/family because it's sooo hard to keep up a happy face, be happy that their lives are going well etc - I would rather be alone and with you folks who hopefully understand.

My husband told me he spoke to a very good friend of mine and basically she said that my friends may not be around when I come out of this depression. It was very hurtful and I know she and my goddaughter are probably hurt too since I am a total recluse, haven't seen them in 6 months and talked to my friend once, but it's still hurtful, on top of the hurt and guilt depression brings with it.

Has anyone lost family/friends due to their isolation and this ugly disease?

Thanks[/QUOTE

Those are fair weather friends. Depression is like any other illness. They'd stand by you if it was any other illness. People who have never suffered with a mental illness will never be able to understand that if we could become social again, we would.
My situation is somewhat different b/c I've dropped people from my life. That's another story. But one day they'll see the light and realize that isolating is how you coped.

Feel better soon. I'm thinking good thoughts for you.

[hester91]

Originally Posted by anjelmarie

Depression has ruined my life. I tried to reach out to family and friends and explain to them why i was withdrawing and the fact that i can't have conversation with anyone and i don't want to talk about my miserable life so that is why i don't call or answer the phone. Some people didn't even respond at all and a few just said that they were depressed too but they still have to go tio work and take care of kids and blah blah blah. Basically making me feel like a wimp for letting it take me over. I had a breakdown basically and even now my therapist is trying to talk me into being hospitalized and i refuse. But losing everyone when you are in such emotional pain is just unbearable. I live with my bf but he is not supportive he doesn't want to talk about any problems and doesn't want to hear me talk about my feelings. I have my T. once a week when she is available and that is it. I feel for you and all i can say is just reach out to people who are going through the same thing like people on this site. You can try a group in your area for depressed people. I tried that and it didn't do much for me but it may for you. I wish you all the best. And yes i too hate holidays. I am having a hard time with it and without support it just makes it that much harder. Prayers to you and everyone going thru this.

I feel like you do, that depression has ruined my life and maybe my husband and kids too. I don't know if you've ever.been hospitalized but I fought it the 1st few.times . I hated the locked ward, no shoe.laces...but after awhile realized that I needed to be taken care of. I needed someone to tell me when to eat, shower, get out of bed.

Take care of you even if that means hospitalization .

[Chortle]

Originally Posted by anjelmarie

Depression has ruined my life. I tried to reach out to family and friends and explain to them why i was withdrawing and the fact that i can't have conversation with anyone and i don't want to talk about my miserable life so that is why i don't call or answer the phone. Some people didn't even respond at all and a few just said that they were depressed too but they still have to go to work and take care of kids and blah blah blah. Basically making me feel like a wimp for letting it take me over. I had a breakdown basically and even now my therapist is trying to talk me into being hospitalized and i refuse. But losing everyone when you are in such emotional pain is just unbearable. I live with my bf but he is not supportive he doesn't want to talk about any problems and doesn't want to hear me talk about my feelings. I have my T. once a week when she is available and that is it. I feel for you and all i can say is just reach out to people who are going through the same thing like people on this site. You can try a group in your area for depressed people. I tried that and it didn't do much for me but it may for you. I wish you all the best. And yes i too hate holidays. I am having a hard time with it and without support it just makes it that much harder. Prayers to you and everyone going thru this.

I feel the exact same way, except it seems like a dead-end path for me.

I have no job, no education, friends, achievements, motivation, energy, the list goes on. I've lost all my friends in high school and college, except for one. I've distanced myself from my family, relatives, online friends, and everyone around me. I'm slowly slipping away from my best friend as well.

I don't have anyone to talk to and I can't afford a therapist or psychologist. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately, but I don't want to call a hotline because my parents will find out when they check their phone bill. They'll probably check my cell phone history as well.

It's torture, that's all I can say. :/

[Livebythesea]

Chortle - no matter what you will always have us...I lost my job and losing my marriage from this illness, have no health insurance but at least we have this forum. Sending you hugs and that we all will have better times ahead, how I'm not sure yet but we'll always be there for each other!

Originally Posted by Chortle

I feel the exact same way, except it seems like a dead-end path for me.

I have no job, no education, friends, achievements, motivation, energy, the list goes on. I've lost all my friends in high school and college, except for one. I've distanced myself from my family, relatives, online friends, and everyone around me. I'm slowly slipping away from my best friend as well.

I don't have anyone to talk to and I can't afford a therapist or psychologist. I've been having suicidal thoughts lately, but I don't want to call a hotline because my parents will find out when they check their phone bill. They'll probably check my cell phone history as well.

It's torture, that's all I can say. :/

[Chortle]

Originally Posted by Livebythesea

Chortle - no matter what you will always have us...I lost my job and losing my marriage from this illness, have no health insurance but at least we have this forum. Sending you hugs and that we all will have better times ahead, how I'm not sure yet but we'll always be there for each other!

I love how supportive and understanding the people are on this forum, and just reading their comments and stories makes it that much more bearable.

[shortandcute]

I haven't lost anyone in my family because of it (but it didn't help either of my two marriages either), but I don't feel like I can really talk to my family about it. My oldest sister doesn't believe I have real depression--she thinks its just my thyroid--but I got it checked and I know that's not it. My step-mother insists that its just because I'm too stupid to get a job and learn how to drive! My dad knows its partly due to the abuse I went through, but he doesn't think he was the one who abused me. No one else in my family cares.

[RJ78]

Hey LiveByTheSea and everyone else in this thread.

I've lost a few very good friends due to the way I treated them while I was depressed and anxious, and that just made things so much worse at the time. I've also had a few people totally become very dear friends once I opened up to them about my illnesses and they've stuck with me over the years because we can share our vulnerabilities together. I never would've guessed that at the moment though.

And, then there's a former ex of mine who I obsessed about for 3 years when I was first deeply depressed, she became the lightning rod for all of my thoughts of self-harm and self-hate. We're now best friends and I can tell her about all of my most difficult experiences with depression and anxiety and she's so bloody supportive, it's amazing. You just never know how people will react, but I do agree with many of you that there's tonnes of stigma out there and confiding in people is extremely difficult and risky when you're depressed.

I joined a free depression support group yesterday and had a good first meeting. It's freeing to be with people who just get it, period.

In solidarity,

RJ

[Bmee2]

My immediate family, as usual let me down for Thanksgiving. i mustered the strength to look forward to my cousin coming to visit from Florida. But for the second time she is not coming as promised. Co-workers needed to switch the time off with my cousin for Christmas due to some sudden emergency. While i understand such emergencies happen, for the second time my hopes were smashed. Then on top of that, all of the Thanksgiving plans crashed too. My cousin's daughter dropped the ball and my aunt is not interested, and my other cousin wants to come over to move in permanently...i have my Mom to care for i cannot take on even a rather homeless cousin. So Thanksgiving has fallen upon me. i was looking forward to a break from caring for my Mom but...not going to happen. i am angry i am so very very alone in this world. i do not have family who care about me. i am none existent to them. So when my Mom leaves this existence, i will have no one. None of them give a hoot about me.

[Livebythesea]

I heard today that thanksgiving has the most domestic disputes all year for cops...just indicates to me how much stress and disappointment occurs on this 'thankful' day. Hate holidays lately...hoping you have a wonderful holiday with your mom...my mom was my best, best friend but she passed 3 years ago. Give your mom a hug tomorrow. I would give anything to be with my mom again. We are all a family of sorts here! Hugs.

Originally Posted by Bmee2

My immediate family, as usual let me down for Thanksgiving. i mustered the strength to look forward to my cousin coming to visit from Florida. But for the second time she is not coming as promised. Co-workers needed to switch the time off with my cousin for Christmas due to some sudden emergency. While i understand such emergencies happen, for the second time my hopes were smashed. Then on top of that, all of the Thanksgiving plans crashed too. My cousin's daughter dropped the ball and my aunt is not interested, and my other cousin wants to come over to move in permanently...i have my Mom to care for i cannot take on even a rather homeless cousin. So Thanksgiving has fallen upon me. i was looking forward to a break from caring for my Mom but...not going to happen. i am angry i am so very very alone in this world. i do not have family who care about me. i am none existent to them. So when my Mom leaves this existence, i will have no one. None of them give a hoot about me.