I don't want to sound too self-centered here but all my life I've spent my birthday(valentines day) all by myself -not even with friends-and each time it's more and more painful..on top of that knowing that nobody's ever hugged me or kissed me or said that they love me. And also i'm really sensitive and childlike in terms of emotional development.

Last valentines day i went outside of my dorm to buy some groceries only to see couples everywhere holding hands and some would hurl insults at me for kicks,... its just too painful.

i dont know what i should do this coming valentines day(staying home)...how should i prepare emotionally?

[astenon]

Eonblue,
I'm afraid I don't have the answer, but I do know how it feels to be alone on Valentines Day. Seeing all the couples and hearts and 'love' things on TV is like a knife to the heart. One that's being twisted all day for someone's pleasure. All I can suggest is get yourself some DVDs to take your mind off it all - anything that wont remind you of what you don't have at the moment, but you will have in the future - I'm sure of it.

hi eonblue, you dont sound self centred at all. i can only imagine how painful it was for you to have to see couples hugging while you didnt have anyone to hug you. i would check what events are taking place on the 14th that arent aimed at couples. if you are in college you could see what clubs and societies are offering that day..another idea would be to do something with some friends and family if the live close by. i know it doesnt sound like a perfect bday but i would keep my mind open and just join an activity/event. hugs

[allimsaying]

Hi eon

I know what you mean about feeling self centered . In life there is time for you too .

I know the feelings of being lonely really suck! We all want to feel loved and noticed I think. Sometimes I dont want to be noticed but thats a different story.

I know its hard doing anything at all when you feel bad or are scared. You dont want to re-experience whats happened in the past and I can feel how much it hurt for you. Now you are trying to live with it.

It would be beautiful to just walk outside with head held high and smiling, embracing all the love and sunshine thats out there. It was cruel they mocked you.

Try not to let that be all you think about but I know its hard. Can you imagine feeling good about Valentines Day at anytime in your life? I think if you can create a loving picture of the day in your inner vision it could help steer you in that direction but the steps at first will be shaky and uncertain. Dont imagine perfection. There will always be something sad to think of if you allow that. Just try to think kind healing thoughts for yourself and imagine that some, not all, around you are feeling the same. That might help you to fell some connection and that not all things are completely bad. Then, maybe if you wanted to, you could give someone else what you need most. Its weird how becoming the thing we want most and find missing in our lives actually attracts more of the same and whoa! that thing is suddenly magically present in our lives! We manifest it. Imagine giving someone else the valentine you yourself would like to receive. Imagine how it might change their day and maybe you make a connection. Maybe you dont. Either way you are starting to break down walls and its just what we need to do to move thru the yucks.

Maybe this wasnt helpful at all and you need to do something different. Whatever you do know I care and hope you move past this to a healthier, happier you.

[everydaysadness]

Well i don't have a father on father's day anymore. He died last year 4 days before fathers day, his death was really sudden and unexpected, i didn't even get to say goodbye the most important man who will ever be in my life . Sorry to sound cruel but i DO think you are being a bit self-centred, no offense but get over yourself because being alone on valentines day isn't even close to having real emotion problems. Sorry to sound mean but it's true, but one day you will lose a parent or someone really close to you & you will realize how petty you are being right now.

[GreyThinker]

Well....quite apart from it being valentine's day, I think it is very sad that you have to spend your birthday alone. I suppose that your friends are busy with valentine day things and not able to do anything with you.....can you ask someone to meet you at lunch maybe, or even the night before? You would not be alone in not having a valentine, but everyone should have someone to celebrate their birthday wuth....

[GreyThinker]

Originally Posted by everydaysadness

Well i don't have a father on father's day anymore. He died last year 4 days before fathers day, his death was really sudden and unexpected, i didn't even get to say goodbye the most important man who will ever be in my life . Sorry to sound cruel but i DO think you are being a bit self-centred, no offense but get over yourself because being alone on valentines day isn't even close to having real emotion problems. Sorry to sound mean but it's true, but one day you will lose a parent or someone really close to you & you will realize how petty you are being right now.

I'm sorry you lost your father and fathers day is difficult for you. However, do you also spend all your birthdays alone? Can you never remember being hugged or told you were loved? I don't know what kind of family eonblue has, but I think that if this the life eonblue has experienced there are reasons for emotional insecurities. I get the impression it is not the lack of a valentine partner that is the issue here, but that couples everywhere on his/her birthday makes the loneliness worse...

[optimize990h]

Originally Posted by eonblue12

I don't want to sound too self-centered here but all my life I've spent my birthday(valentines day) all by myself -not even with friends-and each time it's more and more painful..on top of that knowing that nobody's ever hugged me or kissed me or said that they love me. And also i'm really sensitive and childlike in terms of emotional development.

Last valentines day i went outside of my dorm to buy some groceries only to see couples everywhere holding hands and some would hurl insults at me for kicks,... its just too painful.

i dont know what i should do this coming valentines day(staying home)...how should i prepare emotionally?

Sorry for the late response to your post. Happy Belated !
It' s difficult for people whose birthday falls on a holiday or day for public celebration.

I know what it' s like to not celebrate one' s birthday, but I am used to that because I don' t believe I am worthy.

It is good to see you have the spirit in yourself so you don' t deny yourself the feeling of wanting to celebrate your birthday.


I hope you did follow one of the suggestions the other members posted.

Take care.