compassion for yourself?

Hi,

wondering how to develop compassion for oneself. I have so many negative thoughts about myself and seem unable to accept or feel positive feedback if it comes. Like believing that my opinion is more real or more true.

I've tried a bit it change my thoughts or to investigate them when they come up.

I don't have friends where I live and spend most of my time cowering in bed in my room depressed.

I have hopes for others - like some of you here on PC - but not for myself. I don't reach out to people much because I feel, well - so low.

Hi Gracez

You are thinking of making some changes in your life -- seems like you are wanting to change -- you have already said that you have tried -- you are reaching out -- you have hope for others -- turn that inward and give that hope to yourself -- i have read some posts you have sent to others and you are able to give them what you also need to give yourself -- keep working on that.

I just went on Google and typed in "compassion for myself" -- you will find so much good reading material and support and sights like those, plus the support you receive from your friends here at PC. Start reading articles from the computer --

You are ready to try -- I am working on something new myself and am already feeling some positive benefits

GO GIRL!!!

Negative self image is one of the meanest aspects of depression. It seems to be present in every depressed person's posts that I have read here. It's a symptom of a disease---it's not the truth. You have friends here. We care about you. We value your words. You've been supportive for many on this site and that makes you very valuable. If it is possible maybe you can do something like this in your community. Just a little something that makes you focus on someone other than yourself. It really helps me.
Also, if I understand correctly, you've given up on getting your meds sorted out. Please keep trying. If you can change dr. maybe you can see another dr. or a psych dr. It took 2 years to get my meds good. Please keep trying.
PM if you want. I'm here if you need me. I may not have any answers but I do care.

I found the spiritual exercises of Ignatious Loyola helpful in learning to feel better.
(They're online if you wish to pursue them.)

Use that broom to keep sweeping the negative images out of your mind each time they
arise, please.

Hi Gracez,
I am not sure what to tell, but my feelings about myself are similar to yours. Sometimes, I try to be grateful of things I have, even little things, and I feel better. For example yesterday I was crying because it is very cold here and I could not fall asleep because of the coldness. This happens because among other things my body does not adjust well to weather changes. After 3 hours, I am regularly warm enough, but it is hard to cope with the time before it. Yesterday, I tried to think in positive and thought that many other people do not have a roof on their heads, that I would get warm eventually and that there would be solutions I could try. I said "I am grateful I have a bed, blankets, and a house". I felt better.

BTW, MindFreedom representative was not there (the meeting I went the other week)

I have a trick I learned from a motivational tape--it was about, "Take care of yourself, for YOU." You take two fingers, plant a big kiss on them and stroke it softly on your cheek. Say to yourself, "take care of myself, for ME." It will make you feel better.

but why would i do that if i don't believe it?

Because believing is a fundamental quality of life, I think, Gracez. So much depends
on what we believe.

It's my belief that spirituality is largely an inside job. That's where the problems are when
we're just not able to function. I've read that developing spirituality is a savage fight
between ourselves and our spirit for control.

We've got to learn to let the spiritual life be our guide if we want to overcome fear, indifference, pain, lack of love, etc. Another way of saying it is that our ego gets in the way of our permitting God to enter our spirit and lead us toward a view of life that is higher than our own view of it.

Do you ever wonder why some people seem to function regardless of what's happening
around them? In my view, it's that they aren't relying just on what they have inside
them, they're relying on a Spiritual Force that comes to them to strengthen them for the work
to be done. And a big part of life is work whether it's in the home, in helping the lives
of others, in being a doctor, a nurse, a leader, a follower, or whatever gift we've
been given for helping in life. A huge part of being effective, Gracez, is helping others.
(We are actually helping ourselves when we do that.) Consequently, in that way we
continue to grow in maturity as we live the spiritual life.

What is really missing in the person who feels no emotions is a Spiritual Guide
to lead the self into a new and higher realm of thinking and living.

So many of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous relate to these developments of
the spirit. You can do it if you try. Get a little paperback called "Keep It Simple"
and study it. The ideas contained in that and in spiritual exercises of Ignatious Loyola are two keys to leading you out of the darkness into light.

It all depends on what you want for your inner well-being.

Take care.

But if you do not believe, you do not believe. It happens to me, as well. Sometimes, I try discipline when I do not believe and most of the time, it works. Just for discipline. The Catholic church taught me a formula sometimes I still apply. They said: "cut your head. Act as you did not have a head. Do not think, just do it".

What's really happened, in my view, is that Gracez has withdrawn her emotions from
her life. She needs to recover them.

Indifference is actually the opposite of love, not hate. To regain her passion for
life, Gracez might want to start by reading some of the lives of the saints as one
way to learn how the emotions need to be restored.

I really do hope she will achieve a happier state of inner feeling.

I wonder, Gracez, if there have been traumatic events in your life that caused you
to withdraw your emotions? If so, a little psychotherapy might be the thing that
will bring back your emotions more strongly than ever.

doing it is a step to believing and making it possible to believe. Try it just once a day, then when you're really down and out on something. What have you got to lose?

Susan

Thanks everyone, I appreciate your kind and considered feedback.