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#376
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I feel really anxious and uneasy today.
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![]() Anonymous33250, Bark, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#377
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herethennow, I haven't. One claims I did, but I don't think so. He looked about ready to cry actually. I don't like crying in front of anyone. Ever. I hate myself if I do. I know that's not right, and you should feel like you can let out your emotions, but I can't. I feel really strongly about it to. I shouldn't cry in front of people. So you're not alone, htn. I hope that you can find someone who you are comfortable expressing those emotions to; it sounds like your current therapist and psychiatrist don't make you feel comfortable talking to them.
The stress has pretty much made most of my nights depressed ones. Pretty depressed right now; I took my pill early so I'd fall asleep early and escape the pain. I hate feeling like this. I hate myself. |
![]() lindammarie, tigerlily84, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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#378
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I hoped I wouldn't sleep through the entire weekend. Now I wish I had.
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![]() Bark, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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#379
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A good day. I feel so me again. Trying to keep it upbeat.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin ![]() |
![]() lindammarie
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![]() Bark
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#380
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Have class in a few minutes. I'm still in bed. I think I'll stay here a while...
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![]() lindammarie, Nammu
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#381
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I'm tired, and I still feel relatively uneasy today. My stomach has been hurting now for two days and I'm burping what tastes like sulfur
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__________________
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![]() Anonymous53876, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#382
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Thoughts are racing.....................................have so much to do.
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![]() Anonymous53876, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#383
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I have to resolve Things with my parents.
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![]() Anonymous53876, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#384
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Feeling like crap, just want to feel better but know I never will.
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![]() Anonymous53876, Bark, gracez, lindammarie, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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#385
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Not been sleeping. It makes everything much worse doesn't it?
Hugs to everyone |
![]() Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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![]() whimsygirl
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#386
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UPS
Saw my T today DOWNS Could be the last time for a while since my insurance deductible is so frickin high |
![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#387
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Another long day. Missed my first class, but dragged myself to work on campus. Luckily the depression lifted, and I even had a little bit of hyperness at one point, wanting to do everything and get everything done. I wish it had lasted, but I did get things done later: unpacked a bit more and washed dishes and showered. One sign that my mood can be totally unrelated to things going on was how I was planning to meet my friend in the ER (ended up not seeing her, but she's okay). That's around when I started feeling hyper and good about things. I thought it would drag me back down to depression. It didn't.
Here's hoping tomorrow is an energy-filled day and that I can get down to actual studying. I do have some residual energy, but I need to keep to a regular bedtime (or at least try to). |
![]() lindammarie, tigersassy
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#388
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I'm wide-awake! Hyperness is back! It's been a while, I've missed it. Then again, I wish it was during the daytime rather than at night. I need to sleep! Guess I'll see how potent my night med is in putting me to sleep.
Wishing everyone the best, and hoping you all have a good day. |
![]() 1948kate, lindammarie, Nammu
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![]() whimsygirl
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#389
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Extremely grouchy, being hurtful to my loved ones. I hate this!
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![]() Bark, lindammarie, Nammu
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#390
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Quote:
L-O-N-G time. |
![]() Bark, lindammarie
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#391
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Violent thoughts. Wish I were brave enough to act on them.
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![]() Bark, FireBird, lindammarie, Nammu
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#392
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Feeling okay today. Over the anxiety I was feeling about going into work.
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![]() lindammarie
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![]() Bark
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#393
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Feeling terrible all off a sudden. Over something I thought I was starting to finally get over. Guess not.
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"The rain keeps crawling down the glass. The good times never seem to last. Close your eyes and let the thought pass."
'Prodigal' by Porcupine Tree ![]() |
![]() Bark, FireBird, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#394
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Just puked 5 times from alcohol... Just when I thought I was getting better, How ironic. I firmly believe I should be locked away for scientific research. No one cares what happens to me anyway.
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![]() Bark, Blue_Bird, lindammarie, Nammu, tigersassy
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#395
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Feeling on the edge of becoming depressed again
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All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() ba.ll.oo.n, Bark, lindammarie
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#396
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A year and a half ago, when I hit the lowest of the low, I spent a week at a friend's place (yes, for monitoring reasons). I had just started taking meds and were at that weird point between screaming darkness and pale oblivion.
And yesterday he tells me: "You know what your problem really is? You don't have any hobbies. Remember that week you were staying with me? You only just kept watching Buffy or you stared into nothing. That's what's wrong with you." I mean, dude. Getting up from the bed and walking to the bathroom was a genuine success back in those days. I am aware that we have to deal with this from time to time but boy does it ever get so tiresome. |
![]() Bark, Blue_Bird, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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#397
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I'm doing ok today.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD |
![]() lindammarie
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#398
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I'm unbearably lonely, and the only thing that gets me out of bed is having to go to work. I don't want to, but money anxiety overrules just about any other emotion. I guess that's good.
I'm trying to keep myself under control. I don't like where my thoughts go. |
![]() Bark, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#399
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not too good.. but it has been worse. met T and pdoc the other day and got to rant to T about how pdoc was #@&%#!&! and gathered up courage to tell pdoc about things.
medications got adjusted but i don't see a difference in it anymore.. :/ medications has blunted my ability to cry...
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() Bark, lindammarie
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![]() Bark
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#400
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I feel like hell. In pain. Fighting the depression devil. And my daughter never answers either her land line or her cell when I call. I've gotten to the place that I hate to dial the number. God knows it seems like she never dials mine unless she gets around to a call-back. DH says "don't let it bother you." ...of course, he's the champion of ignoring ALL of his emotions... (except when he gets perturbed about some stupid thing like someone wanting to talk to him...)
Rant is over. Now I must decide -- do I grab onto this anger or sit here and cry??? |
![]() Bark
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