[tokiwartooth]

I am not as grouchy today. Yesterday was awful. We're having a family reunion on Saturday but I've been in such a poor mood that I don't think I'd be very good company right now. I also don't like most of that side of my family. My dad will be there and I'd get to sit and listen to him complain nonstop and that makes me want to slap him.

[phaset]

I'm feeling really bad. I thought my medication was working, but now I don't think so. I still think it's doing something, just not as much as before. I'm really sad and my eyes have been watering. Maybe it is working and the other stuff going on with me is masking it.

I've had two really rough weeks. My wife has been away, the first week she was camping with her family and I couldn't go because of my gout attack and having to work. This week she went on a road trip to her sisters and there was no room for me, plus again I had to work. I'm really missing her. My house is a disaster, every surface is covered with dishes and other crap. I can't bring myself to clean up. I hate how everything can change so quickly. My knee is still sore and swollen so I can't get comfortable to sleep.

I'm really anxious about the assessment right now. They were supposed to call back this week but didn't. I guess since I can't afford it, it doesn't matter that they didn't call. I don't know if I mentioned this but there is another option for me, so the door isn't closed on the assessment, I just need to talk to my therapist to have it set up but I don't see her again until mid september.

I have childhood memories flooding into my head. My therapist pointed out a few weeks ago that I have been holding my breath a lot. I don't know if this is new, but it's been bothering me quite a bit and making me dizzy.

Sorry for writing so much and whining.

[tigersassy]

Having a good day. I'm planning for the future. Things I want to do not have to. It has been too long for that. Like since 2005. Its exciting.

[herethennow]

Just really tired and brain is going "I'm ready to quit."

*sigh*

[NOtHere91]

Morning started off rocky because of this dream I had it started off normal like a random dream then everything went dark and I couldn't breathe stayed up for a while finally took a nap feeling alot better still wondering what the dream means tho

[Aiuto]

Had a ok week until yesterday it went down hill at a fast pace. Thanks to another disappointing friendship that I had high hopes for.I have no friends only family.Now I get to go look like an idiot and tell my T after she told me no outsiders. It is going to be a lonely weekend for me.

[Lost in this world]

Just in fowl mood today. Just want to be left alone.

[jegsu01]

Having mixed feelings. I am feeling depressed and also excited for the first high school football game of the season. My younger brother is a coach on the varsity for one of the top teams in the nation. Going to the game. But I am feeling depressed.

[Answers48]

This morning I felt suicidal but I do not feel that way at the moment. I am back into "healing from it" mode. Also my anxiety is less than it has been over the past 10 days, when I was in almost constant panic attack mode. Today I just have a low to med level of anxiety with tiny spikes of panic that don't seem to go full blown. Maybe the meds are finally kicking in, at least the anxiety ones.

[dandylin]

Felt like dying this morning. Had a T session and feel a bit better that she reminded me that the times I wanted to die were so much more frequent and intense a year ago. That's progress...right?

[usehername]

Have felt like dying for a while now (months?). No idea why, other than my life sucks right now. Tired, but can't stop moving (or TALKING - and keep getting myself into trouble w that one). Up and down at the same time? Idk where I'm at but it's not good. Trying to remember if I felt this bad before meds.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G Slide - xenon rom using Tapatalk 2

[gracez]

Weird day. I only felt like dying in the morning for a few hours and rest of the day didn't have that thought at all. Usually it's nearly a constant.

Also I ate something this afternoon, that is a positive.

[bluedolphin92]

Moving in to the new apartment tomorrow. I can tell my parents are really upset about it, but really I'm just glad that I'll finally be out of the house. Hopefully once I'm moved in they won't be as clingy as I think they're going to be =/

I seem to be pretty much up, even when I feel like I would be down.
I am able to process my stress and anxiety without actually getting stressed or anxious.
This is new territory for me...its odd but it feels nice....so this is what normal people can do?

Spent the morning cleaning my place. I had a terrible back ache yesterday while working. Last night and this morning it seemed like it went away. But then I was cleaning the floor and it came back again. Lately I've been feeling little bits of pain, some soreness, and seeing things that look unusual. It freaks me out. I guess it's part of getting older!

[tigerlily84]

Feeling emotionally raw. My appt with my T can't come fast enough.

[dandylin]

Am I ever going to be completely free of the feeling that I just want to die?
I'm not suicidal, just trying to deal with the unrelenting, sometimes background feeling that this will never fully improve

Worked a wedding reception this afternoon. Off work early but stuck doing laundry in my complexes little laundramat....is that how you spell that?
I want to sleep but gotta do the laundry...ugh.

[Mrwings101]

Originally Posted by dandylin

Am I ever going to be completely free of the feeling that I just want to die?
I'm not suicidal, just trying to deal with the unrelenting, sometimes background feeling that this will never fully improve

I am feeling the same way.

[tealBumblebee]

Today was a good day at work. I didn't have to do much, and got to work with the people I feel most comfortable around. Now i'm home. In deep thought. Have been in deep thought for the last couple hours. And well. I don't know which of my emotions to trust. SH is no longer fulfilling a need I have, whatever this need is. But i'm not so unhappy that I want to kill myself. It feels like a sin to be any happier than content. And I feel ungrateful for being anything less than happy.

I wish I knew how to feel correctly, instead of everything and nothing at all.

It turned out to be an OK kind of day for me. This is my second post on this thread today. I just did my usual domestic stuff for Saturday. But one nice thing that happened for me today was that I went to visit my friend for about an hour. He had some nice encouraging words to say.

[Grey Matter]

I struggled all day. Both mentally and physically. I gave in at around 7pm and just went to bed. Sadly, I didn't sleep the night and woke up now. Ugh.

Somewhere inbetween....don't feel up, definitely not down.
Am I getting aquainted with normal? Could it be?
I am skeptable.

[healingme4me]

Tearful. But not letting out tears, at the moment. Stressed, isn't stress supposed to be what an neuro patient like me should avoid?

I feel, that though going through a major headache with my nutty ex, it's better for me, to go on this trip. Darn it all, the tickets are paid....and this will show me, whether I want to relocate to a new area of this country.

Because, if I need to keep up this façade much longer, about thinking what's best for these kids is to have both mom and dad, in the same viscinity, so long as mommy never, ever, ever gets to go out, nor g-d forbid, if I were to ever go out on a date. Am I supposed to shrivel up and grow old? Am I not allowed to find some happiness and peace in my life?

[dandylin]

Today should be a good day. I made potato salad and brownies for a church picnic and I won't have to cook dinner tonight!