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#351
Sep 11, 2013, 06:15 PM
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Seem to be on a bit of an up-swing since acknowledging my anger.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
 lindammarie, tokiwartooth
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 Bark
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#352
Sep 11, 2013, 06:32 PM
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UPS
Got to see my daughter again. DOWNS Had to be told by her mama that no in fact, you DONT know how it is and you shouldn't say you do, you only have her 4 nights a month and some other times. It's always the same....I try to be empathetic and get insulted instead. Yet another reason we are done. She just couldn't say thanks for the kind words now could she?!? |
| Bark, lindammarie, tokiwartooth
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#353
Sep 11, 2013, 07:56 PM
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rainy days I love gloomy rainy days
I hate snakes .. 3 dead today .. there everywhere this year ya get tagged by a Mojave no worries about doin your self. gotta watch close they be a fourth tonight or tomorrow. allways come lookin for there mate .. evil they be , just plain evil |
| Bark, lindammarie, tokiwartooth
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#354
Sep 11, 2013, 08:00 PM
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Doing ok. Thinking about joining hapkido. It sounds fun and helpful. I have so much in my head right now though. Wish I could just shut it off since I need to sleep.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
| Bark, lindammarie, tokiwartooth
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#355
Sep 12, 2013, 06:33 AM
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Star Trek, Star Wars, Lord of th Rings....Yeah!
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| lindammarie
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#356
Sep 12, 2013, 08:12 AM
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I don't feel well this morning.
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| Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigersassy
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#357
Sep 12, 2013, 01:07 PM
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I wish mornings would go away.
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| Anonymous53876, Bark, Nammu, tokiwartooth
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| Nammu, tokiwartooth
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#358
Sep 12, 2013, 01:53 PM
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I was so incredibly tired last night it was ridiculous. I slept maybe 12 hours the night before, but that doesn't matter. I fell asleep before 10 PM and woke up on and off until I finally got up around 4 AM. Too late to take my pill; I would have missed class from the tiredness most likely. So I feel less tired today, sort of, althought it was a really long day. I'm planning to read a bit, although that tends to go slowly. I hate the fact that even though I want to study and stay on top of things, the tiredness gets in the way. It's infuriating. It doesn't matter how much I sleep, I can't get rid of it.
The depression is only occasionally around and not as severe, thankfully. But this tiredness is going to be the end of me! Strike that about reading. I think I'll just go to bed and try to wake up in a few hours to say happy birthday to my friend. I've been yawning more times than I can count. Plus, I feel like I'm edging towards depression. Don't want that. Better go to sleep and escape my worries and stressors. Don't think about how screwed I'm going to be if I don't do something about this sleep problem. Last edited by Bark; Sep 12, 2013 at 02:22 PM. Reason: Added more. |
| lindammarie, Nammu, tokiwartooth
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#359
Sep 12, 2013, 04:20 PM
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Lets see.
So far just ups. Got paid, gave up my alimony payment, bought a couple things I needed, got my kid some end of summer clearnce water shoes, took a 2 hour nap...heck I wish every day could be like this one.  
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| lindammarie
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| Bark, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#360
Sep 13, 2013, 07:41 AM
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My dad is coming to have lunch with me today. I've been working with my prayer group to try and help with my animosity towards him, and the fact that he's never been there and now all of a sudden he wants to be in my life. It is helping and I'm not as angry as I was before. I'm really tired this morning too. I was up till 11:30pm listening to music. I have to get up at 6am every morning.
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| Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie
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#361
Sep 13, 2013, 07:17 PM
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This week has not been very productive. Got some more tests back. Something abnormal about my lungs, but don't know what that means... guessing the last test result will be back next week & I will see or talk to my doctor. See my psychiatrist on Tuesday. Am guessing my insurance has paid all it will pay... plus I owe him for some stuff that got mixed up on my previous bill. I managed to pay off a couple of small medical bills, though. That's something. Hope this weekend goes OK and I don't just stay in bed.
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| Bark, Nammu, tigersassy
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#362
Sep 13, 2013, 10:57 PM
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Been irritable all day. I'm sorry, all of you that had to be in the same room with me! I'm just *****y and it won't go away. On the other hand I'm also crying all the time. Confusing and upsetting time.
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| Bark, lindammarie, Nammu
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#364
Sep 14, 2013, 02:43 PM
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Doing ok. Not up not down. But good.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| lindammarie
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| Bark
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#365
Sep 14, 2013, 04:20 PM
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I found out this morning that my friend's mother passed away after a ten year fight with bladder cancer. My friend was able to share "I love you"s with her before she slipped away. She was a special soul and was a role model for me when I was growing up. I'll miss her.
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"We will survive" |
| Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, SilverNeurotic, tigerlily84
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#366
Sep 14, 2013, 06:57 PM
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This is the longest I've been so down, hopefully I'll see and uptick as the heat goes down.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Bark, lindammarie, tigerlily84, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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#367
Sep 14, 2013, 07:08 PM
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Slept horribly last night. I still feel extremely low. I don't know what to think about that.
My sister and I went to some thrift stores so I could buy clothes. My old pants are now too big for me and it got annoying having to hold them up. I felt weak in one. Started with queasiness. Quickly became a feeling of being light headed. And before I knew it, I had to grab onto something for support and then came the tunnel vision. I had to sit down. It was scary. I still feel weak. I feel like I'm losing it. I need to finish studying. I need to study, study, study. So I can pass my second exam. But I can't concentrate. I'm second guessing school. I'm second guessing everything. Ups? On the bright side, I managed to grab some decent enough clothes for very cheap.
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Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
| Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigersassy
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#368
Sep 15, 2013, 08:26 AM
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Been irritable. And just too weepy.
Met up with friends sometime this week and guess what? They were 3-4 hours late. All the way I wanted to cry and I just hated the fact I had to wait. Blamed myself too for waiting... and there I was back in a crisis. Something I was trying to get out of the whole week. I am not looking forward to seeing pdoc again and telling him I'm in a crisis, not still in a crisis, but in a new one.
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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#369
Sep 15, 2013, 09:26 AM
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UPS
I get to see my daughter again today and help her improve her bike riding DOWNS Weekend is almost over already. |
| lindammarie
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| Bark
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#370
Sep 15, 2013, 11:02 AM
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My husband is still up in bed snoring. Bless his heart. He's had a rough time of it for the last year. He's new and improved, but worn out from the struggle.
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"We will survive" |
| lindammarie, tigersassy
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#372
Sep 15, 2013, 05:58 PM
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Trying to get the energy to work on some stuff
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
| Bark, lindammarie
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#373
Sep 15, 2013, 07:09 PM
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Taking care of myself and not feeling too guilty about it for the first time in years. I'm honestly feeling awesome. Hoping work doesn't ruin it tomorrow.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| lindammarie
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| Bark, Nammu
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#374
Sep 16, 2013, 01:05 AM
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 Probably not a good day to get on my bad side. No ups. None at all. Downs? Too many to list.
__________________
Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
| Bark, lindammarie, Nammu
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#375
Sep 16, 2013, 07:57 AM
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Not looking forward to seeing pdoc. And T.
If treatment consists of being thrown around from person to person like a puppet, then I don't want to continue this anymore. I want to cry.. and I just realised though: I have never cried infront of pdocs and T before. Am I strange...?
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigersassy, whimsygirl
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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