[Rose76]

(((((sidestepper)))))

[GailH]

Originally Posted by Bark

New day, new thread! Hope this one's filled with more ups than downs.

Not much. Tigers lost again. I guess after nearly 30 years of waiting they aren't going to win the World Series and I doubt they ever will in the life I have left. I'm almost 60. Nobody cares about me. I'm alone. The Universe doesn't care about me. Things never go my way.

[tokiwartooth]

Had a big fight with dad last night. I told him how I was so excited that 'he' was coming home (the guy I love), and he completely ignores my text. And any other texts that don't have anything to do with him asking me how my day went and how I am. That's the only thing he EVER asks, and then it always gets turned around to him being sick. I told him, you know, do you even care? It seems so forced, like oh it's 430, it's time to text her. Let me ask the same two questions and then answer with the same replies I use every time, every FREAKING time. I said you know I try to open up to you because you said you wanted to get to know me, and when I try to have a conversation about something other than being sick, you ignore it. And he replied, I will try harder, and I have to know why your preacher coming back effected you like that. I was like I'm in love with the man. He asks me, why did you fall for a 70 year old preacher? I said first off, he's not 70, he's 60, second, how DARE you ask me that, like I can help who I fall in love with. He's a good man, a REAL man, a compassionate person who actually cares. You act like it's some sort of unimportant thing that just happened out of the blue. I told him that I am done sharing, I am done opening up, and I said goodbye. I am done with him. He makes no real effort to try to have a relationship that he said he wanted. It feels very one-sided, so I'm done with it.
Then, some drunk skank comes back at 2am and wants to park in a space where there is a moped parked. So she and her friend picked up this random person's moped, and moved it behind my truck so I couldn't back out this morning until there were four of us to move it back behind her car. My aunt saw her do it and said hey don't do that, and she tried to get my aunt to come out and fight with her. We called the cops, but the girl acted all innocent. I feel bad for the guy who's probably wondering wtf happened to his moped last night. I was late to work because of that.

[Rose76]

Still staying undepressed. This is the longest run of that in quite a while.

[1948kate]

A bit anxious but okay. I think this miserable cold May be ending

Average day, no real upsets just lows. Overthinking things.

Got up and went to work today in real pain. I woke up around 3 AM and my leg hurt. When I got up and had breakfast, the pain in my leg went away. But when I got to work, the pain went to my lower back and then to my knee. It's probably a sciatic nerve pain. I've had it before. It went off and on all day. Also I had a splitting headache. I don't know which was worse, the sciatic nerve pain or the headache. When I had to bend down to move things, my head hurt but not my back.

I got home and the headache went away but the back pain seemed worse. I was going to workout with the weights, but decided to go bike riding instead. Well at least that was a smart move because the back pain went away. I went to the hot tub after dinner and it all feels better now. But later tonight, the headache came back. I wonder if it's sinus pain. Sometimes I get those sinus pains when it's continuously dry and windy with dust flying around. It's been that way for a while and I'm sick of it. I want to see some real weather, like clouds and rain for a change!

[Nammu]

I'm on my way, it only took 3 1/2 hours to pack the car, not that I have that much stuff it's the up & down of the stairs. Got to keep taking brakes. All I have left is to cart out the litter box and Sir. Garbage is out, everything except the wireless is un-plugged and clean. Thanks Rose for the encouragement and reminder that the only thing I really need to remember is medication, everything else is stuff.

[Rose76]

Yeah, stepper.

i'm feeling really depressed since someone i really liked left emmerdale.

i think for the next few days at least, that's going to be my topic of conversation... i'm devistated- i am going on youtube later to try and find some videos of him so i can watch..

[herethennow]

(annoying that tapatalk can't quote)

Thanks Bark. To sidestepper small steps.

On friday school had cohesion stuff for the new students. I was pretty tired from the previous day since I met T, and furthermore I was pretty unstable. I went anyway. Bad choice.. found myself trying to keep myself from breaking apart. In the end I ran away in the middle of it and ran home. *sigh* still feeling really down now.. and I don't know whether I can make it through the first official week of school...

[coffee_over_tea]

Very low low yeterday after watching The Perks of being a Wallflower. Leveling off this morning (hopefully)

[NextToNormal]

Crap last night, painted a picture, feeling a bit better. Almost have motivation worked up to make breakfast.

[Clara22]

I would like to see the picture, Nexttonormal! :-)

[Clara22]

I feel depressed but not hopeless, although it is just a bit of hope what i have, just a bit

[IcryWhoAmI]

I can't describe it right now, but I feel so distant from the world and everyone on it.

Once again my ex expected things from me that she did not communicate and then gets mad at me when I didnt come thru. And I told her as much and you can already guess how much difference it made...0.

[Rose76]

I was invited into a program to help me get re-employed. Yesterday I was told that they think I am too depressed to be in the program.

Being in the program felt really good. Now that I've lost that, I am awful depressed. I wish I had never believed them. I am such and idiot.

[avlady]

I had 2 grand ml seizures in the last month and am seeing a neurologist tuesday,got cat scan already hope all goes well, please pray for me!!!

[Bark]

Originally Posted by avlady

I had 2 grand ml seizures in the last month and am seeing a neurologist tuesday,got cat scan already hope all goes well, please pray for me!!!

I hope everything turns out fine and all goes well!

(((avlady)))

[Bark]

Originally Posted by Rose76

I was invited into a program to help me get re-employed. Yesterday I was told that they think I am too depressed to be in the program.

Being in the program felt really good. Now that I've lost that, I am awful depressed. I wish I had never believed them. I am such and idiot.

Rose, you are not an idiot. Who are they to say how depressed you are? If you feel you are ready for reemployment, then you are. I was so happy to see you feeling better: you were more active here, helping others out and letting us know how you were doing.

Are there other programs available? Support groups? If you want to work again, don't let this hold you back. Was it you that mentioned we need to take every day as it comes? My memory escapes me, as usual.

[Bark]

I'm doing better. Feeling okay. I was really worried about a friend, but everything's okay now.

I'm lucky that decision I made didn't come back to bite me. I was expecting it to.

I need to find the motivation to study. I have an exam next week.

Hope everyone can find the strength today to fight that demon called depression.

[tigerlily84]

I think I'm finally over being sick, but I am starting to feel down again. I actually had a good 2 months of feeling better. I'm not sure what is wrong. Trying to find the motivation to call my friend, do chores and all that but it's eluding me at the moment. Suicidal ideation is back. I hate this. And to make things worse, I saw on facebook that my former best friend is getting married on the 26th. I knew she was engaged (which I also found out about on fb) but I didn't know when it was. I feel like crap.

[IcryWhoAmI]

I hate every single second of being alive.

It's really weird that even though I feel lonely, I just love Saturday mornings with just being by myself and cleaning. I listen to music that I really like while I'm doing it.

But it seems like when that's over, it's all downhill. The shopping would end and then there's nothing left to look forward to. It seemed like when I went shopping today people were in bad moods. I've seen better at other times.

I plan on working out with the weights before dinner. I was going to do that yesterday, but I had hurt so bad that I couldn't do it. I'd rather go bike riding before dinner, but it seems like I only have a choice between bike riding or working out. I can't do both. It's such a nice day to go on a bike ride, but I did that yesterday.

Nothing much lined up for tonight. I'll be watching a movie by myself that I got. That's what I always do on Saturday nights.