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#451
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well manic depression Tuesday every 7 days wtf
3 days of nothing winter is comeing YUK wish for the best for all of you ![]() king exavior the 3rd is flowering again ![]() that makes me smile |
![]() Bark, herethennow, lindammarie
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#452
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Doing ok. I wish I could make her understand. But you can't make someone understand things. I still try. Getting tiring.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin ![]() |
![]() Bark, herethennow, lindammarie
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#453
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I haven't been on in a long time. I've been busy with work and preparing for the newborn I will be adopting soon. This waiting is going to drive me insane! The baby was due 3 days ago, but birth mom is still pregnant. I'm a control freak who likes to plan everything, and I have no control over this and can't plan since I don't know exactly when we will leave to get the baby.
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![]() herethennow, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84
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![]() Bark, tigerlily84
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#454
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Hello, I am new here. Having a down week...anxious and depressed. Can't stop my brain. I keep holding up a big stop sign in my mind to stop the racing thoughts, but even that is not helping right now.
Waaah. Christine |
![]() Bark, lindammarie, Nammu
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#455
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Something happened, and I couldn't deal with it. So my counsellor took me to the ER. Haven't paid my fees yet, so technically I'm not covered by insurance. I don't have more than $4 in my pocket, so we'll see what happens.
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![]() herethennow, lindammarie, Nammu, sunsetsunrise, tigerlily84
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#456
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Anxious and scared last night. Now the violent thoughts are back.So tired but only during the day.
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Technology and human potential don't have to be adversary positions .. we can use advanced machinery and advanced people. Likewise, the idealists on the right and the idealists on the left would do better for all if they worked on the same team. Get comfortable with combining positions and not choosing sides. -- Jim Channon, LTC. U.S.Army |
![]() Bark, lindammarie, Nammu
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#457
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colder weather is here. windows must be mostly kept shut in the part of the country where I live. Sunset is earlier each week. These all cause me to feel more depressed. The closed windows mean I cannot hear the outside world. Feels quite shut off from life. Where I live the windows have to be shut 8 months out of the year. I heard an ad on TV for christmas music. I am sure I will make it through the holidays. But it takes much out of me to do that.
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![]() Bark, Fuzzybear, lindammarie
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#458
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Seeing my psychologist (for my OCD) in 4 hours; hopefully it'll help, and not make me feel like crap.
__________________
{ Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil [ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1 |
![]() lindammarie
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#459
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i am foreseeing myself self-destructing soon.
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__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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#460
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Still thinking about it, constantly. Skipped my classes today, got to work late. It couldn't have come at a worse time, too. I'm not sure what to do, other than not to do what I'm doing. And it was supposed to be a good day; a slight decrease in meds so that I won't be tired all the time.
I've got to pull through this. I've got to hold my chin up high and not blame myself for it. It wasn't my fault. Forget what the voice is telling you, that self-destructive voice. It's all lies. Take it easy. It might be tempting, and it's easier to give in, but at the end of the day, the only one losing is yourself. We'll get through this together, eh herethennow? Don't give in to the demons in your head. |
![]() lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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![]() lindammarie, tigerlily84
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#461
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I stayed home yesterday because I'm not well, I feel a little better today, my joints don't hurt as bad. I'm not as achey. I have a sinus infection and I started some antibiotics. But I also got my "friend" and now I'm cramping bad. And I still really miss him. I've thought about him all morning so far.
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![]() Bark, lindammarie, tigersassy
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#462
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All I want to do is sleep!
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![]() Anonymous37807, Bark, lindammarie, tokiwartooth
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![]() tokiwartooth
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#463
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Feeling really down, and stupid. Which really is nothing new for me. I am not the brightest when it comes to me. I am just hurting inside all the time.
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![]() Anonymous37807, Bark, lindammarie
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#464
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I feel nothing.
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You are so brave and quiet I forget you are suffering.. |
![]() Anonymous37807, Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, Patagonia
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#465
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Dear SunSun, I don't know what happened, but I do know you're a lovely and kind person. Please PM me? I know that you aren't alone in feeling this way sometimes....
Much love to you, Fuzzy ![]()
__________________
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#466
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Quote:
I've tried the stop sign thing with various degrees of success. Once I drew it on an index card, wrote encouraging quotes on other cards and banded them together. I'm about to try that again. Also trying to make myself start doing yoga again... |
#467
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Have been very busy, which is good. Not so much time in my head. However, I think my dear friend's mother is on the brink of death. I dread the drive, and the funeral home and/or funeral. It shouldn't be about me, but everything is so darn difficult.
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![]() Bark
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#468
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I've come to realize that my life right now resembles being a slug. Not sure how the hell I'm supposed to raise kids feeling like this. I've also realized that all I'm living for is the next appt w/ T's. Like they have the magic answers.
When is this eternal blackness going to end? |
![]() Anonymous37807, Bark, lindammarie
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#469
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Feeling good today. I think I'm finally stable for once.
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__________________
All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle. -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() lindammarie
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#470
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ya know ? in all the haze of all of .. this ,, I ? myself why !
so as bark started this new thread he asked for good thoughts .. or what ever ... I braindead. as the bitter cold high desert winds are bringing in winter , I found myself saying I would rather have the oppressive 116 heat of summer ! am I nuts ? yes very much so !!! so as the dark clouds covered the sun today I said this is wonderful .... the summer rains have brought grass for the bunnies and the antelope and the few starving deer , we see every now an then . so a ![]() wow I almost convinced myself of that ... haha ... it is true though,, this did happen today .. an .. I hope we all can see some , piece of happy everyday .... |
![]() Bark, lindammarie
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![]() Bark, lindammarie, tigerlily84
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#471
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Why does my life feel like one big roller coaster lately? What is wrong with me?
I feel so lonely today. I cried for thirty minutes. Fell asleep for 20. Woke up, feeling even lonelier, and cried again. For at least an hour. I have no ups to report today. I'm just a wreck.
__________________
Love is.. OSFED|MDD/PPD|GAD|gender dysphoria|AvPD a baby smiling at you for the first time a dog curling up by your side... and your soulmate kissing your forehead when he thinks you're sound asleep |
![]() 1948kate, Anonymous37807, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, tigerlily84
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#472
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i'm tired--i am done
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"Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can see the top." -Wildflower http://missracgel.wixsite.com/bearhugs |
![]() 1948kate, Bark, herethennow, lindammarie, Nammu
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#473
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A lot of things are happening that should make me happy, and they do, briefly, but I just... don't see the point in doing any of it. I'm doing what I need to do to be 'responsible', because it's what I'm supposed to be, but my heart just isn't in to any of it when I have a quiet moment to think. My heart isn't in anything.
I'm just sad. Apathetic almost. I put out to the people around me that I'm doing a bit better, and this path to treatment is helping, but the truth is, I don't really know if I'm better or worse off than I was before. |
![]() Bark, lindammarie
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#474
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I feel like I'm running away from everything. No, I don't want to face them head on. The pain is just too unbearable. I just want to run away.
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
![]() 1948kate, Anonymous53876, Bark, lindammarie, Nammu, themonster7, tigersassy
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#475
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It's still a month before he comes back and it makes me so sad
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![]() Bark, lindammarie
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Closed Thread |
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