[gracez]

i slept well last night! it still took me hours to get out of bed because i'd still rather not have the day. but even though that's a constant every day, i have some moments recently where i feel just ok for minutes or even hours

[tigersassy]

My thoughts are out there with all of you having difficult times. I feel lucky to be having a wonderful day.

[Edda]

Feeling very bitter, hopeless and disgusted. Fighting the urge to hurt myself.

Crap, really

I wish I could go to the hospital and have someone take care of me for a while. Life is becoming such a struggle
hope things get better for all of you struggling so much too

The drama with mama played out and all is as it was.
In other words my ex said Rome was burning but in fact, she was just blowin smoke...again.

Feeling pretty horrible and lonelier and angrier than usual. I just wanna get out of this dorm. I'm sick of my pointless life and pretending it's going somewhere.

[shortandcute]

very tired....

upppppppp

UPS
I know the truth about the spy
DOWNS
I know the truth about the spy

Wonder if the spy calculated the damage before they started spying? And were you asked or did you volunteer?
COWARD=Spy

[nicole84]

Down down down. At least managed to shower for the first time in days. Now just sitting here crying and feeling like a waste of space. Hate these days

[tokiwartooth]

I'm in a better mood since I got to see him last night and he gave me a big hug

[herethennow]

Still stuck in the psychiatric ward. Yes I'm allowed my own phone and laptop.

I hate the feeling of "oh wow I'm okay I might get discharged soon!" but it's a false alarm. I hate this. I hate having a reprieve and then ... the feeling comes back. Emptiness. The feeling that this will never end and I should just give up. I'm tired. I don't know when I will stop being so tired of fighting this... even as I try to phrase it to my docs.. it's not helping. At all.

Now I'm not sure to be completely honest or just slap on the facade, as usual. *sigh*

[1948kate]

Still depressed, migraine doesn't help.

[tigerlily84]

What is the point of trying so hard if you end up failing anyway? Why did I think something good was going to happen? Being taken advantage of gets old... I'm sick of it. What is it about me that says "easy target"?

pretty much just down now.
Thanks spy. You have sent me into a downward spiral.
Hope you are proud of your work!

[lindammarie]

Originally Posted by Bark

Didn't sleep properly because I travelled halfway across the world. Taking my meds was skewed too. Probably is affecting my mood. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

But now I don't feel like doing anything, it feels like there's a weight on my chest, I've realized just how bad my memory is (I accidentally deleted nearly all the photos from my trip and only realized that after I arrived back home, among other things), and I think the meds don't work anymore. I don't know. And things back home are still the same, still stressful, and now I have classes to worry about....

I feel like such a jerk for not going back and reading the posts I missed or replying to any.

I think I'll see if I can move my appointment with my psychiatrist closer. Maybe I'll talk to one of the nurses and see. I've been so lazy and unmotivated I haven't been tracking my mood and sleep, so I don't even know how they've been.

Everyone says I should focus on myself and succeeding in school. Meh. I'm not worth anything. I want to curl up in a corner and not feel anything.

Eh, ignore this. I'm rambling on and on almost begging for pity. It's pitiful all right.

My heart DOES go out to you. I've been pitiful a time or two in my life... And, BTW, you are NOT a jerk! (((((Bark)))))

[lindammarie]

Blood work and sonogram of my leg... I could have a blood clot or a propensity to develop one... I hate to hope I'm not well, but at least that gives me an excuse for the problems I'm having -- an excuse better than being "crazy"...

Ups... did a wee bit of work today
downs....not able to sleep well and the day was looong being alone and I cant seem to
make myself leave the apartment

[themonster7]

I turn 22 in one month and have been single my entire life. No first kiss, no first date, nothing. It's all I've wanted and all I've cared about for so long now. I think it has a lot to do with my depression and I don't see this ever changing.

[herethennow]

I am discharged!! After days of fighting. Guess that's an up.

Down: I still feel bad. But I hid it because I really wanted out of the hospital. I still pretty much am tired and feel like giving up. Still pretty much feeling like si-ing.

To everyone else who is struggling, I send over huge hugs to you. *hug* know that you're not alone.

[1948kate]

Doing a little better today. My awesome therapist got me to laugh at myself yesterday, and then informed me I could distract myself from th depression by trying to find the humor in life, even if it is a stretch. Also my psych service dog-in-training went for a walk in our small town downtown. He was great, did exactly what he was suppose to do. Everyone smiled at us, that certainly made me feel less isolated. I think Bear (see picture above) and I are going to make it, together, through the present dark tunnel

[1948kate]

Originally Posted by themonster7

I turn 22 in one month and have been single my entire life. No first kiss, no first date, nothing. It's all I've wanted and all I've cared about for so long now. I think it has a lot to do with my depression and I don't see this ever changing.

I promise it will get better. I was 24 on my first date, got married at 26, have 4 great kids, three grandkids ( number 4 is on the way). One great grandson and the best husband ever!

Just do what your pdoc and therapist tell you. It does get better, sometimes slowly, but it does get better.

[alone in the world]

Just can not manage to get beyond the couch. I am able to take the kid to school in the mornings but anything else is a struggle. The uneasiness is in my chest making me feel on pins and needles. I don't know what to do with myself other than taking extra meds to sleep. Being alone, sad and hopeless is a bummer. Wish I had it in me to enjoy the sun.

[tokiwartooth]

I'm worried because I have to take my cat to the vet today because I noticed he seems to be taking longer to urinate. He's had crystals before and I just want to catch it early enough if he's getting them again. Please send your good thoughts, vibes and prayers if you pray. I want my fat man to be ok!

much better now. Many suppotive messages later I am back to me old self.
I get to pick up my kiddo from school and she spends the night tonight.
Working at a different Country Club tomorrow...
Life is ok for now.
Challenges still lie ahead.