[jacq10]

Can I not be loved? Do i do something that pushes people away from me? Am i really all that insignificant that i could drop off the face of the earth and it probably wouldn't do much? Thats what it keeps coming back to, and its the only thing that makes any sense at all. Every single relationship that i've ever had in my life that meant something to me is gone. Maybe not 100% completely, but surely not in the same way at all. The only person in my life that i trusted when she told me "not everyone is going to dissapoint you Jacq, not everyone will let you down" .... now has done that. Unconsciously maybe, but now that we're not together anymore, and this mother figure (the only real mother i've ever had) has slowely pushed me from her life. Sure distance is a factor, but it doesn't make things easier, and it doesnt make it any better for me while i'm sitting here crying. Nothing helps. There just has to be something wrong with me. some unlovable feature that i'm apparently unaware of. Whats the point anymore. Its easier to just not trust anyone, to not invest myself emotionally, than to give a little, and feel the downfall 10X harder. Somewhere along the way i've lost myself, and i'm having a hard time finding that "person" again. I'm so scared ..

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry hon. I'm not sure how to help as I am sort of in the same boat. I have pushed people away without meaning to. Keep posting, reading, and sharing with others as you can, here and in real life (I can't remember if you said you have a T) and you will find your answers...... it might take a long time but you are worth the work

[domino]

Really sorry for the way your feeling right now. At least here you are not alone. There is always someone you can share your problems with Jacq.

[Leilee]

Dear Jacq,
I don't think it's you pushing them away really, sometimes it's just timing. I get obessive at times and will invade others space, and than I take a step back a breathe and distract myself with another project of mine for self-improvement/fun a book, a movie, another person, a hotline anything but giving that one person space is important I believe. I feel that it's not you! This other person maybe going through something too difficult to share with anyone else right now and therefore has pushed you away not meaning to unlove you, just to isolate on their own individuality. Very important at times you see.

Now, everyone is different and if this person is truly how you are feeling pushed you away because they want to be mean. Then you have to accept that we are all human and make bad mistakes so you need to forgive them and move on, though I'd say give it time. Meanwhile, be loving to yourself and do not take it personally. I feel the most powerful source in the world is love. Leilee

[jacq10]

((((fuzzy)))))

Thanks for your encouraging words... and i'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down also ..

[jacq10]

(((Domino))) You are so right. we are lucky to have the people here .. thanks for putting a little positive swing on things

[jacq10]

((((leilee))))

I can completely see what you are saying about timing/their own problems and such being a possibility ... but while i know that, i still have a time truly "knowing" that ... if you know what i mean? I guess i just take things too personally sometimes.. oh well, time will tell. thanks for your thoughts.

[Christina86]

((((((((Jacqueline)))))))))

(Sorry I'm late to respond!)

Boy oh boy ... I do understand. I do have to tell you though - if you're not loveable, you're sure darn likeable by me. (True true!)

Please take care and PM me if you ever want to talk, okay? *hugs*

[jacq10]

(((((Canders))))))

You are too cute. And you too my friend are very likeable!

Thanks you are awesome. Hope everything is going well with you