[tokiwartooth]

Eh, I'm not in a good mood today.

[Bark]

Giving up.

[Rose76]

I'm very discouraged. It doesn't seem to take much to do that to me. I haven't even been fighting the blues. So they got worse. I must try.

Help, thats about it....I've gotten myself into things I never should have.. my meds aren't working.. I SI'd the night before last, haven't done that in a year.. I'm going to take some more anxiety pills, I guess that's all I can do right now...hugs to all here

[regretful]

still in the muck and mire of this deep depression that will not relent...2 weeks on medication and no real effect yet; just depressed and coming to grips with a life that I have wasted.

[dandylin]

Feeling good

[seeminglyreal]

I feel great today, but knowing that it won't last doesn't let me enjoy my happy moments as much as I'd like.

[Rose76]

I have to post again today to say I am a lot better. (Just took down the x-mas tree and stored all the holiday stuff away.) I'm kinda proud of myself.

Feeling down right now because I decided not to work out like I always do three days a week. I worked out on Monday and felt hurt. So I have not worked out since. I would like to take a bike ride after work, but can't because of the sun going down early. I really miss it with working out. And that's why I feel the blues.

[Clara22]

A friend of mine that lives in other city will come to visit me for a couple of days on Monday. I think It will be good for me although i will have to make an effort.

[seeminglyreal]

I'm going out today after I don't even know how long to buy some clothes and I'm so anxious. I feel pathetic.

[healingme4me]

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

small town junk; my son flat out, refused today to go to practice/meet. after yesterday, finding out what I found out, about a friend, and her plight trying to procure permanent employment, the word nepotism came out. Then, realizing what was handed to me, with my promotion, thinking about the pass over of my son, and how his feelings are affected, recognizing clique politics, oops, sorry, I don't 'donate', as though I can attend these annual comedy nights, work, my meh feelings about the school, since I reverted back to my maiden name, politics of my exh and his group of ppl he knows, and just MEH, BLEH!

When is this hearing date, going to arrive in the mail?

[herethennow]

up: went out yesterday to meet a couple of friends i haven't met in years... had fun i havent had in awhile..
down: recurrent sui thoughts. thoughts of quitting. exams are next week.

i'm still.. somewhere in between. i dont know how am i feeling. guess just empty. an empty void.. with nothing to fill the hole.

[Rose76]

I'm back to feeling good. The main thing that helped was making myself get going yesterday. It was extremely hard to get started, but got easier. Another thing helping me is aromatherapy from scented candles. I'm really enjoying Pumkin Saffron.

I feel like if I have nothing good to post, I shouldn't talk anymore. Nothing like depression feeding depression. I wish I was where my brother is today, I'm not jealous in a bad kind of way, but he's gone to Cuba, and I could so use the Vitamin D. Why did my parents have to pick Canada to emigrate to?

[Bark]

The thoughts lifted some... actually ate food and felt better. But there is this massive guilt in the back of my head as if I was pretending to be as low as I was. That I am actually fine and it's my fault I'm feeling the way I am. That I want to feel the way I was feeling. Ugh. Best to sleep on this note and hope it carries on into tomorrow. But the guilt... that somehow I lied on the phone when I was being perfectly honest. Now that I'm alone it's eating at me.

[seeminglyreal]

Didn't go out like I said I would because, like I also said, my happy moment didn't last and depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I honestly would rather not be happy at all than being happy and falling back to this hole harder each time.
My not going out had an upside though. I found a stray puppy on my way home and I brought her home with me. She has a broken paw and what I think it's scabies and I'm taking her to the vet on monday. She already ate, I gave her a bath and medicine for worms (her tummy is really big). I'm not keeping her though. I'll take care of her and buy the medicine she needs and I'm giving her away to my friend whose dog died a few months ago.

It turned out to be a pretty good day for me, even though it didn't start off so good. My sister called me while I was having breakfast. She told me that there was a breakthrough with her daughter having depression. That was nice to hear but my sister just ruined the good news by rambling on and on about every single little detail that I was not interested in hearing. I had to tell her that I had someplace to go. I couldn't stand to hear any more.

I went to a support group that I felt like I needed to go to. I went there only once a few months ago. It started off good and then it ended up a disappointment at that time. So I went for the first time in a few months and this time I didn't like the looks of it, so I didn't bother to go in. I felt bad about that.

Instead I spent the time I could have been at the support group to be with my friend. He expected me to be at the group and was surprised that I ended up not going. We had a good time together.

So that was my day.

[tigerlily84]

Bad. Just bad. Nothing will ever get better.

[Fridagurl]

In bed the entire day. Woke up this morning in the throes of a panic attack-had an Ativan for breakfast. So many things crying for my attention and I just can't muster the energy for them. Hoping to tackle laundry and taking down the Christmas tree tomorrow.