[sassygirl12]

okay im so depressed

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Feeling a little sad and apprehensive about my husband being out of town until Monday night. Since being in this depressive episode, I find I need his support and companionship even more. I have plans with people Saturday and Sunday, but the rest of the time I'll be alone a lot. Hoping the time will pass quickly. I'm sure I'll make it through this somehow. It won't be a laugh a minute, but I'll make it through and appreciate him all the more.

[herethennow]

nope, back to my cave.

[StarStrike]

I broke down in tears in college while I was talking to the guest speaker and helping him tidy up after the lesson. The thing is I knew I was going to break down today. I could just feel it. Thankfully, the guest speaker was an understanding person. In fact his job is a life coach job, inspiring people to find their true selves and make something of their life.

[regretful]

Misery...absolute misery...and still stuck in the rut of wanting to change the past, hence the moniker "regretful"...

[Raggedy Man]

I can't leave the house today. I tried... it just won't work. I know I need to get some things done, but every time I get to my car I just sit there having all kinds of negative thoughts and can't start it up and pull out of the drive.
To top it all off everything I'm doing here I just keep doubting myself and checking it over and over again. It's so frustrating! I hate myself! I don't know how much more of this I can take. Great! Now I'm ***** crying again. If you guys knew what I used to do for a living, you wouldn't even believe it. I'm a lousy mess anymore!

I don't mean for my posts to sound like so much drama. I just don't know what to do...

[tigerlily84]

I'm meeting up with some coworkers tonight. I'm definitely anxious, but I'm hoping that it will be good. Trying not to talk myself out of going lol.

Other than that, I had a pretty decent day today.

[Rose76]

A rough day mentally. My role of unappreciated caretaker to my friend is becoming insupportable.

[Raggedy Man]

I've got a migraine tonight, but my mood is better than it's been all day. Hopefully I'll get a good nights sleep tonight.

[don964964]

I havnt read nothing sorry

hope yall havin a geood day

so lost am I soooo lost ssorry yallall
I tried it aint workoin I miss my love I miss me I miss you I cant do this no more
I hope there is peace some where

[Perfectly Broken]

It feels like it's getting better, maybe there is hope, I'm not alone ... no these are all lies I tell myself.
I'm feeling pretty suicidal at this point, I cut up the palms of my hands and the reverse part of my left elbow (the crease). I really want to die but I can't bring myself to do it. My life is at a dead end, I am still living with the woman who has abused me my entire life. I try to be social, I try to make friends despite my social anxiety but there she is sweeping in to make sure I remain isolated and locked away in my room. Humiliated, I am not allowed to speak to anyone or leave the house. I'm an adult already, but of course my father is standing there supporting her, keeping watch over me, making sure I can't leave. He lies to my face. I wonder if she would care if I died, she has never been a mother to me. This psychotic, schizophrenic ***** will always be in control of my life. If it isn't her, then it's something else that is drowning me in this sickness. No one loves me or cares, they use me up and toss me aside. No one could ever understand me, I am judged before I am even seen. Even the strongest medication and years of therapy could not help me.

My depression is lifting, for how long I don't know.
I'm realizing I have everything I need.
Sure, I tried meeting some people to make as friends, but I think its complicating an already complicated life
My kids are what matters right now, and I'm going to treat myself well from now on, give up smoking, eat better, take food with my medications because I've got no energy for work or the people I love.

[smmath]

Today was good, but now I feel like crying. I was texting someone and she tells me she plans to end her life within a week. I asked her questions to assess her risk of doing it, and I think she might attempt it. Then she tells me her phone is about to be shut off, so we can't talk anymore. She told me to assume that she was gone if I don't hear from her in two weeks. I don't want to think about it. The last thing she said to me was something to the affect of "I hope you have a great life, goodnight." I don't know how to handle this. I want to SI to take it away, but I know I shouldn't.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[The_little_didgee]

Originally Posted by smmath

Today was good, but now I feel like crying. I was texting someone and she tells me she plans to end her life within a week. I asked her questions to assess her risk of doing it, and I think she might attempt it. Then she tells me her phone is about to be shut off, so we can't talk anymore. She told me to assume that she was gone if I don't hear from her in two weeks. I don't want to think about it. The last thing she said to me was something to the affect of "I hope you have a great life, goodnight." I don't know how to handle this. I want to SI to take it away, but I know I shouldn't.

Thanks for letting me vent.

This isn't fair to you. A real friend would never ever do what this one just did to you.

Your friend has put you in a very awkward position, because she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings. It sounds like her suicide threat is to get back at you or another person that offended her. Asking for help is one thing but the way your "friend" did it isn't right. This is manipulation. The problem with these kinds of threats is determining if they are genuine or not. You need to call the police and let them deal with it.

Someone else's suicide should never ever by put on you. It is selfish and uncalled for. Remember you are not responsible for her actions.

[The_little_didgee]

Sad. I am withdrawing from university today. It is the right thing to do. My mental health really needs tending to. It is hard to walk away from something that gave me purpose and a sense of belonging.

[sassygirl12]

I just now read everything is everyone okay

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[seeminglyreal]

I don't feel very well and my boss is moody and being rude to me today.
My mom is finally realizing I'm not okay and even suggested taking me to therapy. She suspects I have dysthymia.

[sassygirl12]

I'm sorry to hear that do u have dogs

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[seeminglyreal]

Originally Posted by sassygirl12

I'm sorry to hear that do u have dogs

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I'm sorry, are you talking to me?

[sassygirl12]

Yea and it's okay

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[seeminglyreal]

Oh! Yes, I do have dogs and I love them very much. :-)

[sassygirl12]

Me too they u like if ur sad or anything I have 4 dogs

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[seeminglyreal]

Originally Posted by sassygirl12

Me too they u like if ur sad or anything I have 4 dogs

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Yeah, dogs are awesome. Much better company than humans.

[sassygirl12]

Yea

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Well, I made it through Day #1 of my husband being gone, just like a big girl lol. So today it's more of the same - - job search, AA meeting, maybe stop at the grocery store and then settle in for t.v. in the aft. I actually slept until 5:15 this a.m. too - - after waking up at 3:30 and falling back to sleep. That's the longest I've slept in a while. I love it!