[Webgoji]

Bummed bad. Hurt my wife last night. We were being playful and she twisted wrong and threw her back out.

Feeling frustrated today as my job search continues.

[noelle56]

This is a great idea, just the sort of thing I need to keep track of where I am, who I am and all the rest. I am alive and writing and for me that's all that counts.

[Rose76]

I'm doing quite well today. I'm finding that writing down what I'm going to do the next day before going to bed is helping me keep moving forward. I'm so desperate to not lose the recovery that I've had past few months. It does take work.

That sounds like a good plan Rose, I think I should really make an effort to do that and maybe do some journaling about my days.

[The_little_didgee]

My feelings are disappearing. Before I was crying a lot for about 3 weeks straight and suddenly that stopped about 2 weeks ago. Now, I can't seem to feel very much. It feels like I am flattening out.

[Perfectly Broken]

My cat died last night sleeping, he was a true friend. I feel so guilty, like I could have saved him somehow. My second cat is missing as of last night as well, so now I'm left with my two dogs. I was actually there when he was born, he lived in my room for nearly a year. And now he's gone...

[Rose76]

((((Perfectly Broken)))) - I'm so sorry about your kitty.

[herethennow]

Originally Posted by Perfectly Broken

My cat died last night sleeping, he was a true friend. I feel so guilty, like I could have saved him somehow. My second cat is missing as of last night as well, so now I'm left with my two dogs. I was actually there when he was born, he lived in my room for nearly a year. And now he's gone...

((((((perfectly broken)))))) i'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

[herethennow]

feeling.. down. weepy actually, for the better word.

the good thing is that suicidal thoughts is not as intense. and i also completed my finals. the last paper was ok.. though i was having an intense battle with self during the paper i managed to finish it. also had a call yesterday for a job interview with a pharmaceutical company. hoping i can get the job so that i'll get experience before i start my school sprint. so that's three ups, i guess.

i got the form by email and seeing the question "do you have any illness, psychiatric conditions etc" (yes its legal in my country to ask; almost everyone asks it...) made me nervous again. what happened earlier this week still scares me. i don't know. i don't know whether i should declare it.

I really hope I get the part-time paralegal job I applied for. Just shoveled the front porch, now have to wait 4 hours before the DBSA meeting in the local jail that I facilitate starts. Going out to dinner with my husband tonight.

[seeminglyreal]

Having a good day. I find it so strange that when I'm having good days I start to ask myself if I really am depressed, since I can't remember the reason why I was so sad because I am too overwhelmed by excitement and fake happiness.

[regretful]

It gets a little better when you start to think it's getting a little better. After a night of no sleep, I'm functioning rather well.

Talking positively really helps improve my mood, its good to get rid of the junk from my past

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by newgal2

I really hope I get the part-time paralegal job I applied for. Just shoveled the front porch, now have to wait 4 hours before the DBSA meeting in the local jail that I facilitate starts. Going out to dinner with my husband tonight.

Good luck to you. I am studying to be a paralegal now. I'm loving research and administrative law. Fingers crossed for you.

[ba.ll.oo.n]

Sometimes it feels like my brain skips the whole depression thing and goes straight to suicidal ideation. Lazy brain, take the scenic route, why don't you.

Had a really crappy afternoon. I hear a song that reminded me of her and it just ticked me off. The ex and I have decided to reconcile so this shouldn't bother me so much...but damned if it doesn't just tick me off!
When you talk with a woman you are interested in and she shares so many of her hopes and dreams with you...then just systematically erases you from her life...it makes you wonder wtf!!!
Why say stuff like that if you aren't being sincere? I mean why lie about it. It's just one of those things I will never understand. Smh.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Feeling really low again today. I just hate my life. I'm so sick of being depressed. When is a med going to work for me?

[StarStrike]

Since yesterday's official diagnosis, I can post here. Right now I am emotionally drained. Last night I was begging my friend on Facebook to choose life when she didn't want it anymore. And today I was hugging a sobbing friend, telling her that I won't ever abandon her like everyone else. I think I may cry myself to sleep tonight because the thought of one of my closest friends is feeling so much hurt breaks my heart. If I lose her, I don't know what I'd do.

[healingme4me]

What does it really mean, to be 'up'? It's been right up there, with the years I'd wondered, "Do you feel joy?" um, joy? I guess it's consistently the same, until I felt it, mid/late last year. I do realize, I don't usually feel, really 'down' either. It's sort of like this...

___ _____________________--____________--_______________
--

I mean, there is laughter, and smiles, not even the forced kind; what is 'up?'

Up, I would say, the expression, I received from my oldest, at 615/630am, when I said, 'don't fall back to sleep.' As though, he had a little *aha* moment, or something? That was an up. Down, was the dumping out of every toy bucket, but that was corrected, by the one who did it, too. Walking back in there, to see, everything back off the floor, total up moment. __--___(<---that far up)
Not getting the boys out of the house, in time to watch scrimmages, a bit of a downer. Traversing this, storm, in that little car, interesting experience, in order to get my son, to his afternoon activities, getting him, will be an adventure. My van, may be here, today, but in this, I'd hope tomorrow. But, I think it's definitely, this weekend, as my cousin must be returning back to school, this week. It will be bizarre, no longer driving a car with all these collegiate stickers. Two different state uni's, as it was shared between both cousins. I actually, was honked at, the other day

[wushuduck]

Down. Really down. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

Yesterday turned out to be not such a bad day after all. The mornings just seem to be really hard for me, when my thoughts turn to, "How will today go and how bad will my depressed feelings be?" Went bowling yesterday for the first time in a long time with my husband and step-granddaughter and actually had fun. Then had dinner with them, and that was nice too. I just really need a job, and that will turn my life around immensely.

[StarStrike]

Vacuum cleaner almost burst into flames today. Even electrical items hate me. Now I'm scared of vacuum cleaners and I wish I didn't wake up this morning. Nothing ever goes right. And I want to know, is it my fault? Am I so horrible that even electricity is repulsed by me? It feels that way...

[tigerlily84]

My brother just got engaged. I feel like everyone else is moving forward with their lives, and I am standing still. I can't help but wonder why I'm still here. Would anyone notice if I wasn't here anymore? I feel invisible. And also guilty for thinking about myself when I should be happy for my brother. Sigh.

[Clara22]

My friend visit ended last Friday. It was nice to see her as well as additional old friends that came to a reunion we organized at home as she came to town. Somehow, her visit overwhelmed me a bit, due to my depression and also because she is too helpful sometimes. I have adopted some habits from the US ( like caring more about my privacy and autonomy) and that sometimes can be a barrier for relatioships molded in my country where community ties are more important than individual assertiveness. I did not tell her a lot about my feelings but kindly refused her help a couple of times, thanking her but stating i would like to do it my self. For her, as i am disabled, i should have passed some chores onto her. I do not mind to get help but i should be in charge as it is my home, i am the host and she is the visitor. This is a principle of independent living i learned in the US and i want to keep. I believe she got the message but then i felt bad for her, i do not want to hurt her as she is a good person. She will come back with her son shortly. I believe she is being overwhelming towards her son, as well. She has told me she is very concerned about him and their relationship. She wants me to take a look to a psychological report of her son as i am an educational psychologist ( i have not practiced since 2001, when i left my country to go to the US. A year ago I came back to my country, although did not go back to my practice) I do not mind to look at the report and translate it into plain language. But perhaps this is an opprtunity to tell her she is overwhelming towards her son. I should not worry about this, but i cannot help about it. I get somehow anxious when i think how to better tell her what i think. She is my friend and deserves my honest imput, even if it is a bit painful first.