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#126
Dec 08, 2013, 01:04 AM
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Been working on my paper for almost 12 hours straight now. Okay, most of the time I've been distracting myself with music and videos, but I have gotten some done. I'm sort of summarizing the studies for my paper. When I finish that, I'll actually start writing my paper! Ugh. Why is it so hard? I used to love reading and writing, get lost in books, think about a writing career... that was a long time ago.
For some reason I want to see how long I can go without sleeping. Bad idea, I know. Might make my mood better. Probably will make my mood worse. Who knows? |
 herethennow, Rose76, tigersassy, Touch of gray
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#127
Dec 08, 2013, 10:59 AM
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Slept a little later than ususal.
I have no motivation today. Tomorrow I will be working outside and hardly feel like going out today. But may get to a movie and check out some flooring. I really am not up to much today. |
| Anonymous37807, Bark, Rose76
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#128
Dec 08, 2013, 03:02 PM
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It seems that every year without fail, my emotions take a dive around October or so. That's not to say that I don't feel depressed/empty during the rest of the year, but it just seems to get especially worse around this time. Winter is stressful enough when you include the holidays, but I have quite a few anniversaries coming up, or that have passed. I can't do this anymore. I need to figure out a way to take care of myself. Winter is here, whether I want it to be or not. I just need to figure out how to deal with it. Ignore my rambling..
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| Anonymous37807, Bark, Rose76, tigersassy
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#129
Dec 09, 2013, 05:43 AM
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on the brink of giving up.
i just don't want to continue this battle anymore. 
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
| Anonymous37807, Bark
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#130
Dec 09, 2013, 06:34 AM
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Doing ok.
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 Bark, tigerlily84
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#131
Dec 09, 2013, 09:39 AM
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Our dog is dying. Everyone is freaking out and sad.
__________________
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| Anonymous37807, Bark, Rose76, tigerlily84, tigersassy, too SHy
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#132
Dec 09, 2013, 09:48 AM
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Had a crappy night's sleep last night but out of bed and waiting for my 9 a.m. T appointment to begin.
Not sure at all what I'll do today. I spent most of the weekend with my husband, and it was nice. Today I feel lost. Hoping a job will come through but also very nervous about my ability to function in the work world right now. |
| Bark, Rose76
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#133
Dec 09, 2013, 10:10 AM
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Depressed and anxious again. I didn't think that I'd be back here, but this time the depression is being outweighed by anxiety about an as-yet un-diagnosed digestive problem. With colon cancer in my family history, I'm fearing the worst (anxiety), then thinking about whatever I can do if that is the case (depression)...
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| Bark, Fuzzybear, Rose76, tigersassy, too SHy
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#134
Dec 09, 2013, 10:12 AM
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Lately been completely in the dumps, like I was back in September, had an S attempt this week, was turned away from the hospital a few days before. Today I get to see my T and hope I can just get through the day.
I feel awful |
| Anonymous37807, Bark, Clara22, Fuzzybear, Rose76, tigerlily84, too SHy
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#135
Dec 09, 2013, 11:05 AM
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Double posted sorry
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
| Rose76
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#136
Dec 09, 2013, 11:16 AM
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Doing emotionally fantastic. Now if I could make my head shut up thatd be even better. The 18th isn't getting here quick enough.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| Bark, Fuzzybear
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| Bark, Rose76, tigerlily84
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#138
Dec 09, 2013, 05:18 PM
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Stayed up two nights in a row (slept around 5 or so hours during the day) to get my paper done. Yeah. Didn't work. Another extension!
Slept on and off around 9 hours. I'm exhausted and out of it. |
| Rose76, tigerlily84
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#139
Dec 10, 2013, 01:16 AM
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Today was the first time in eight years I left the house to go to work. I still have my job with my husband's company that I do from home, but I am now working part time at a pet store. It was hard this morning to leave, but it was great to go. It was three hours of watching videos, ADD HELL!!! I made it through and next shift will be better.
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| Anonymous37807, Bark, tigersassy
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| Bark, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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#140
Dec 10, 2013, 01:19 AM
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Quote:
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#142
Dec 10, 2013, 02:10 PM
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Hi, long time no post...
My medication stopped working like it had been. It's still doing something, but I'm feeling really bad. I've been having images of me getting hurt popping into my mind which hasn't happened since I started. I told my therapist last week. It's probably stress due too the assessment. I get the results tonight. I'm excited, scared, worried, etc. tigerlilly mentioned their neighbours hose was broken in to. 6-7 years ago I was checking on my girlfriend's (now wife) apartment while she was visiting her parents for Christmas and I went into her place and it was trashed. Someone had forced the window open and had stolen a bunch of her stuff and her kids stuff. When I arrived the window was wide open in the middle of winter. Luckily her cats were still there. I felt horrible calling and telling her about this.  The cops were useless.
__________________
Small things are big, huge things are small Tiny acts have huge effects Everything counts, nothing's lost |
| Bark, tigerlily84
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#143
Dec 10, 2013, 02:22 PM
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Crashed and burned last week. Dodged a 51/50 ... dose increases and 2 week sick leave
Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk |
| Bark
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#144
Dec 10, 2013, 03:51 PM
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I'm glad I got out of the house to deliver brochures for the volunteering I do, made it to an AA meeting and out to lunch with folks afterward. Still no word on the possible part-time job I'm hoping to get.
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| Bark
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| Bark
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#145
Dec 10, 2013, 05:22 PM
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I think it's back.
__________________
A majorly depressed, anxious and dependent, schizotypal hypomanic beautiful mess ...[just a rebel to the world with no place to go...  ]
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| Bark
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#147
Dec 10, 2013, 08:23 PM
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Doing good emotionally still over up. I've bren asked the past few days if I drank my lunch at work. The 18th can't get here soon enough. I've got to find out why I've gone to my opposite extreme. So depression wise I'm good. I'm starting to think my therapist might be right about the manic thing. It's gotten worse this week. hoping my brain will shut off longer than it has in over a month tonight.
__________________
PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| Bark
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#150
Dec 10, 2013, 10:07 PM
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UPS
Melissa DOWNS Not enough time with my baby! The ex is makin life difficult. Can't imagine why!!! |
| Bark
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