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#151
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Haven't felt like posting, my dog died on Monday, but I'm back now.
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![]() Bark, Nammu, SadPam, tigerlily84, tigersassy
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#152
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Having a really down day. Will probably not leave the house at all, even though it would be good for me. Seems no matter what I try, the depression lingers. Today I'm giving up on even trying. I got a load of laundry done today - - other than that I'm spending all my time on the computer. What a waste. Something has got to change. I can't take it anymore.
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![]() Bark, Nammu, Rose76
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#153
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Miserable because of my own actions that put me right here again.
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![]() Anonymous37807, Bark, Nammu, Rose76
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#154
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I'm still doing okay and that is saying a lot after a year of relentless depression. I've been non-depressed now since the last week of October. I sure enjoy feeling so much better.
Soon I'll put up Christmas stuff. Last year I didn't even bother. Recovery is possible. |
![]() Bark, Nammu, tigerlily84
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#155
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Had a bit of a meltdown last night. Thank goodness that I wasn't alone when it happened. Still very depressed right now but in control.
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![]() dx in 2003 - Bipolar PTSD Major Depressive Disorder Panic Attacks/Generalized Anxiety |
![]() Bark, Nammu
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#156
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Don't know how I'm feeling. It's -1degree Fahrenheit with wind chill of between -15 to -24.
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Nammu Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. ... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Bark
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#157
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Optimistic! I can be happy, I will be happy. I can be happy, I will be happy. etc...
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It's not as if this barricade blocks the only road It's not as if you're all alone in wanting to explode Someone set a bad example, made surrender seem alright The act of a noble warrior, who lost the will too fight. |
![]() Bark, tigerlily84
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#158
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I think I have already died inside, I don't have any reason to go on anymore.
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![]() Bark, tigerlily84
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#159
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hope everyone is well ........ I don't understand me and me ,,, I am scared .... but
peace an love to all //////////////////
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I suckle honey from a flower named blue |
![]() Bark
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![]() Bark
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#160
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I've been through a lot, this year. I seem to be shedding the tears, of moving past this years various events. A year ago, I never imagined being where I am, but wow, what a year of many ups and downs.
Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
![]() Bark
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#161
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Don't feel like doing anything. I've slept so much I don't want to anymore. I want to shower, but it's to much effort. Same with doing the dishes. I could eat out... but I'm too lazy to get up. I don't want to do anything. I have exams and a paper to write... yeah. Blah. I'm waiting for someone to force me to go out. Just tired and lazy and a good-for-nothing.
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![]() Anonymous37807, tigerlily84
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#162
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Got up; got to my office; still plagued by an as-yet undiagnosed health problem. Long and short of it is anxiety about persisting digestive problems, and depression about what I did to get myself in this situation. Again, miserable, and not sure what will help...just a bunch of depression and anxiety thoughts that do not appear as if they want to relent in any way, shape, or form...long check in (thought I might be able to type my way into thinking better)...
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![]() Bark
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#163
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Fell apart last night, feel weak and fragile and not sure how much more I can take.
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It's not as if this barricade blocks the only road It's not as if you're all alone in wanting to explode Someone set a bad example, made surrender seem alright The act of a noble warrior, who lost the will too fight. |
![]() Anonymous37807, Bark
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#164
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The depression lingers. No matter what activities I do, it's always there. I feel imprisoned by it. Can't see my pdoc again until 1/16. Really hoping a change in antidepressants will help get me out of the tremendous funk. My worst fear is that I'll end up being treatment resistant, i.e. will keep trying different antidepressants but none will help. I will not go the ECT route, ever. Hoping there's an end to this pain.
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![]() Bark
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#165
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After being out on disability for 2.5 months with depression, I'd returned to work mid-November; boss not only continued but escalated his bullying, I'd again went to HR, and received an email from them last Tuesday stating they were arranging for a short paid leave while they review my claims. I've not heard anything since and I'm quite anxious. And in stark contrast when I was out during the fall and the weather was so beautiful I was walking every day, it is now below zero with snow and ice on the ground and I have major cabin fever. Trying to keep the catastrophic thoughts at bay but see my so-called career circling the drain. So tired of work and money being the focus of my life.
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SadPam ![]() |
![]() Bark, tigerlily84
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#166
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I'm really not motivated, the place is a mess and I need to get it in better shape so I feel better...I know this in my head but I don't know what is stopping me.
I don't know what my ups are, that's why I'm here I guess... and I thought checking in daily would be a good start. I need to eat but can't seem to force anything in... I guess on the upside I have a warm place |
![]() Bark
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#167
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In freefall.
What's the least destructive thing I can do? |
![]() Fuzzybear, tigerlily84
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#168
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The physical symptoms are pretty much killing me. Super-fatigued, worn out, every part of my body hurts, no energy to do anything. Etc. Been to the doc today she said hold on, the meds might work. I've been on cipralex/lexapro for almost 3 weeks now. Still not doing anything and feelin worse when i started taking it. It's like living in hell. I don't know how I keep on enduring this much pain but somehow I manage to pull through every day. No idea how. Blablablabla.
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male, 26, Budapest, Hungary still looking for good med combo for possible bipolar. |
![]() Bark, Fuzzybear
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#169
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Filled my seven day pillbox and late afternoon pocket pillbox...took meds just now for the first time since Saturday. Only because of the potential effects of not taking them, not because I care.
Went to physical therapy and crossing my fingers I won't need my cervical collar this evening. Apparently we are strengthening my neck muscles so that post-surgical will be less lengthy...fusion of C3-C7. But don't see neurosurgeon until February 19. So exciting...not...more titanium, more surgery. Went to lunch with a neighbor; very small lunch, food is still not appealing. Tried to talk about my recent trip home when she asked, but since I started to cry, I stopped. She knows of my mental illness issues. I am trying to care about living, but it still is not a good thought. Still hate life and hate living. There is nothing good about it. |
![]() Bark, Fuzzybear
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#170
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Have been feeling pretty well the last few days. Going for chemotherapy tomorrow, so I hope it remains that way.
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![]() Bark, dandylin, Fuzzybear, Rose76
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![]() Bark, tigerlily84
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#171
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Feeling like there is something more to my mental health problems than depression. Can't wait until next wed. I'm so sorry that my spouse is having to deal with all my crap. I've completely lost it on her too many times in the last few days. I took a mental health day today from work hoping that might help things, but I don't think it has helped. I really hope that I don't lose it at work like I have several times today considering I work in customer service. This is making me feel so horrible. I hope my spouse doesn't resent me for all this stuff shes having to deal so early in our marriage.... Sorry got the long post.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin ![]() |
![]() Bark, dandylin, Idealsummerluvv, Rose76
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#172
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I know how you're feeling; and I have the same thoughts about what I'm putting my wife through. In addition to the depression, I have anxiety about a digestive problem that does not seem to be relenting. Coincidentally, my next MD appt is Wednesday. Wife keeps telling me not to over-react; having a tough time staying focused. Thankful for this forum.
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![]() Bark
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![]() tigersassy
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#173
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I am feeling a bit encouraged about myself. I think it could be the Daily Challenge, but it could be that I went back on my meds yesterday. Still depressed. I know that being off my meds for so long may mean an increase in them, we will see.
Today is Friday, so I have grandmother duty with my very autistic grandson after school...11yrs. There is no TSS (teacher of Special Services) on Fridays. We will do his homework and play with his new fav, Legos. Hopefully he had a good day and there will be no biting ![]() Carolyn |
![]() Bark, Idealsummerluvv
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![]() Bark
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#174
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Just adopted a new doggy! Get to take her home on Sunday
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![]() Bark
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#175
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I got some cleaning done, which always helps. I've no one that will be buying a gift (not likely) for me, so I treated myself to a cozy blanket. And these candles, I bought them, not knowing they glow different colors, really neat....got to find pleasure in the small stuff. And I managed to eat something for lunch.
My downs are, worrying about being alone on Christmas and New Years' Eve... |
![]() Bark, SadPam
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![]() Bark
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Closed Thread |
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