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  #376  
Old Jan 03, 2014, 09:01 PM
Anonymous445852
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Stitches hurt in the tip of fingers, distracting and not thinking about what it might turn out to be
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  #377  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 12:14 AM
Anonymous41141
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A fairly busy day for me at work and I expected it to be like that. Starting Monday it should be back to "full swing". Had some anxiety today and maybe some minor panic attacks.

I was working out after work and felt like I had some minor panic attacks while doing it. I have had them before while working out. I had not slept well in the last three nights and normally I sleep very well. While I was working out, I was feeling bad about myself. I notice that when working out with weights, I can possibly hurt myself when my mood is not up. Also my mood can be very down when I don't sleep well.

Feeling very tired tonight. I noticed that my bathtub drain is slow. I boiled some water and poured it down. It was an old trick that my late Dad taught me. So far it seems to work.
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  #378  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 09:06 AM
Anonymous37807
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Had a really intimate conversation with my husband this morning about how my depression feels for me. Am glad I have at least one person in this world I can be completely, 100% "Me" with - - and know he will not reject me. I am a very lucky woman to have him in my life!
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  #379  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 09:16 AM
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Clara22 Clara22 is offline
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I made a call I was postponing and it went well; I went to google and mapped London, and I saw all the itinerary I did last time I went there and it felt good, also puppy training is going well, not everything is bad
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Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel

Last edited by Clara22; Jan 04, 2014 at 09:17 AM. Reason: spelling
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  #380  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 10:05 AM
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herethennow herethennow is offline
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feeling crappy. feel like quitting everything.
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes

herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.
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  #381  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 01:31 PM
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What sounds like a great idea when normal or up seems just horrible when you're down. Me? Responsible? Anyone else would do a better job. Me, I can barely take care of myself. Oh, the irony of it all.
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  #382  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 03:17 PM
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wushuduck wushuduck is offline
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Horribly depressed again, there's a massive pit in my stomach

I was hyper earlier today, for about 6 hours, I don't know what's happened.
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  #383  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 05:30 PM
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Anxiety and panic were huge last night. Trigger I shouldnt fuel with words here. Today was better. Hard getting out of bed. But I knew I had to go grocery shopping so there was not a choice. Turns out that with the cold temperatures and strong winds it felt colder today than yesterday when it was 6 below zero. I did not go to the second grocery store. I can do that tomorrow before the next storm. Living like this adds to the depression. So few days I can go outside. Have to keep the heat down to between 53 and 57F. Because cost of heating it is so high. I wear 2 pairs of thermal socks, a fleece jacket over 2 sweaters and a cotton T neck... inside. While under many layers of blankets. Summertime is less depressing
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  #384  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 06:14 PM
Martek Martek is offline
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I hate today
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  #385  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 09:50 PM
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Doing pretty good.
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  #386  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 10:13 PM
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can't wait for final examinations to end so that i can deal with my emotions proper. i can't take this.. i know i'm not feeling too good but i'm sweeping it under the carpet so that i can deal with school. this is not a good strategy.
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"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes

herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.
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  #387  
Old Jan 04, 2014, 10:17 PM
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tigerlily84 tigerlily84 is offline
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Feeling okay I guess. Sunday is my day off from work and the next day I will have off will be next Sunday. Yep, that's 6 days in a row. I'm already anxious.
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  #388  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 02:20 AM
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it upsets me to be so invisible or uncared about
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  #389  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 03:59 AM
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Bad night for sleeping. I have been awake for almost three hours now and just want a couple more hours sleep before I need to face another day. Two or three hours sleep per day is just not enough!
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  #390  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 06:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunsetsunrise View Post
it upsets me to be so invisible or uncared about
Here or offline or both? I hope not here.
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  #391  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 08:15 AM
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I wake up so early these days. Lay in bed in the dark and managed to scare myself. No need to do that. We never know what life holds ahead for us. Could be some good things. Will be some hard things, also. I've been pretty fortunate so far . . . on a number of fronts.
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  #392  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 11:16 AM
Anonymous37807
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Feeling blue today. Am hoping some time with my husband will help some.
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  #393  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 04:02 PM
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oifsnafu oifsnafu is offline
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Insurance from the state kicked in. Gotta get a regular shrink and a steady supply of meds. Holding out until then.

Glad I found this site.
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  #394  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 05:23 PM
regretful regretful is offline
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Just out of hospital. Just when I thought it couldn't get worse...misery
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  #395  
Old Jan 05, 2014, 08:37 PM
Anonymous445852
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I got nothing good... oh, well I guess I do, at least this thread makes you think...Ups, I found some more music I enjoy, I was so used to listening to the crap stuff the H liked I didn't know what I like, I got outside, which is nice for me,
Sons are well, so yup there are good things
Downs, I don't want to eat... and my stomach hurts
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  #396  
Old Jan 06, 2014, 02:53 AM
Ganymede00 Ganymede00 is offline
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I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow. It's my second session and even though she's nice, I'm not really in the mood to talk about my feelings. I've just been feeling kinda blah lately and have been finding it kinda hard to cry.
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  #397  
Old Jan 06, 2014, 05:35 AM
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doing worse than previous days and the urge to just take this life is getting stronger.

i am a failure. i can't do this. i can't do anything.
__________________
"The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes

herethennow: This ward is a prison!
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
dx: recurrent MDD.
Hugs from:
Anonymous37807, Bark, Clara22, healingme4me
  #398  
Old Jan 06, 2014, 06:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herethennow View Post
doing worse than previous days and the urge to just take this life is getting stronger.

i am a failure. i can't do this. i can't do anything.
I might as well have posted that. Feeling the same way. If there weren't factors beyond myself holding me back... because see, I could never die with the fact that I might have triggered someone else's... I don't know where I'd be. But even being able to consider it, and go over scenarios in your head, and to feel actual physical pain because of it... that's bad enough in itself.

But herethennow, you are not a failure. From what you've said before, academically, you're not. And as a friend, at least on here, you are most definitely not. We are not failures or successes in ourselves; it is what we do that is either successful or not. And even then, one can find success in failure. Look at science: it relies on failure and falsification to progress, ironically enough.

I admire you for being able to reach where you have, feeling how you have been. That takes a strong person.
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  #399  
Old Jan 06, 2014, 08:25 AM
Anonymous37807
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Feeling really low again today. This is getting so hard to keep on. NOTHING seems to make me feel better. I need the pain to go away. On top of it, I have a severe, really itchy rash on my neck and upper body that I must see a dermatologist about ASAP.
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  #400  
Old Jan 06, 2014, 08:38 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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January is far from a doldrums month. 6 days to plan a sheet cake design and get gifts. omg, my youngest's bday creeps up on me. The busyness of the month, takes the *blahs* a little off my shoulders. Ask me, again, on the very last day of the month, how I feel, however....
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Bark
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