[Clara22]

Not a good day, today. I am trying to listen some music

[tigerlily84]

Today was better. So far so good.

[seeminglyreal]

It always gets worse at night. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

I am soooo depressed, it is worse at night, and I'm just so tired... I want some time to check out for a while, but its not possible. I'd actually welcome a hospital stay, even as bad as the experiences I've had have been. Voluntarily there for a while, to have someone care for me... I haven't eaten anything healthy for months, I know its affecting my brain. My son is okay, he is looking forward to school after harsh weather kept him home an extra 3 days. This morning he said "What?? I'm so sick of this, I want to go to school and see my friends"....kids don't say they want to go to school very much. I'm glad he is okay through all my depression. I know I could do better though, and I will.

[Rose76]

Oh man, I've gone downhill.

I am really bummed out because I don't think I'm going to get the job I was hoping for. I called the acquaintance/man I interviewed with, then emailed him the next business day to say, "Don't mean to hound you but wondering if you have a position for me" He didn't respond to the email, and when I saw him the next day at an AA meeting all he said was, "I owe you a phone call." That was 2 days ago and he still hasn't called.

I could be reading too much into things, but my gut tells me it's a no go and he is procrastinating because he doesn't want to let me down. His lack of response is starting to tick me off because it would take 2 minutes to pick up the phone and say, "Thanks, but no thanks." I decided if I see him at the AA meeting today I'm going to ask him if I could speak to him briefly after the meeting. My husband, who knows this person, suggested that. I just want an answer; it's really not that hard!

Then what sucks is it's back to the job search drawing board . . .

[herethennow]

am.... somewhere in between. had urges to si lately but didn't. guess that's an up. but it leads to intensified sui thoughts so.. :|
i'm just hanging in there... finals are approaching soon and soon it'll all be over.

on another note, managed to drag myself to the doc's for my worsening cough that has been around for more than a month. hoping cough goes away.

actually.. after writing all this.. i realise im in a moment where i don't know how i truly feel. i'm not that sad... but i'm not happy either.

hoping everyone is doing well

[dandylin]

Feeling hopeful these days. Second semester in school starts next Monday and given my success last semester, it should be good.

[tokiwartooth]

I'm ok, at least it's not as cold as it was for the past few days. It's a balmy 31, but that's better than -2.

[seeminglyreal]

Was feeling mildly okay. The girl I like sat next to me and we talked a little. Now I feel awful because there are so many things I want to do, buy and be and none of that will probably ever happen. I'm such a waste of space.

[Martek]

All hope is gone, can barely breathe.

[Rose76]

It seems like I tend to get real depressed when Christmas is over. I love the holiday season. For me, it's like there is magic in the air.

It's already well past time to take down my Christmas tree. I haven't been able to make myself start. I feel sad about putting the things away. This happened to me 2 years ago. It feels just awful.

I tell myself, "You can't do things based on whether you feel like it or not." Fighting depression means doing things when you don't feel like it. That's the difference between being mature and not being mature. I'm having a hard time acting grown up. I don't want to do anything.

Maybe, I'll feel better, if I try. Maybe, if I just start . . .

[Perfectly Broken]

Losing hope... relationship blues. I fooled myself into thinking I had a relationship, when I was just being used again. The only one who gets me is thousands of miles away. Now I'm stuck with this weird friendship and a bitter taste. I hate being alone, I don't want a future as lonely as my present.

[themonster7]

I was fine for an entire week, now I'm on day 3 of feeling unbelievably down for no reason. I'm just so disappointed in myself. I thought I was getting better but I'll never get better.

Well, it's been confirmed that I didn't get the job I wanted. Oh well, I'm over it and it's back to the drawing board. Managed to make it until 8:45 last night at my husband's office holiday party. That is really good for me considering my state of depression and usual habit of going in bed very early.

[tokiwartooth]

Eh, I'm not in a good mood today.

[Bark]

Giving up.

[Rose76]

I'm very discouraged. It doesn't seem to take much to do that to me. I haven't even been fighting the blues. So they got worse. I must try.

Help, thats about it....I've gotten myself into things I never should have.. my meds aren't working.. I SI'd the night before last, haven't done that in a year.. I'm going to take some more anxiety pills, I guess that's all I can do right now...hugs to all here

[regretful]

still in the muck and mire of this deep depression that will not relent...2 weeks on medication and no real effect yet; just depressed and coming to grips with a life that I have wasted.

[dandylin]

Feeling good

[seeminglyreal]

I feel great today, but knowing that it won't last doesn't let me enjoy my happy moments as much as I'd like.

[Rose76]

I have to post again today to say I am a lot better. (Just took down the x-mas tree and stored all the holiday stuff away.) I'm kinda proud of myself.

Feeling down right now because I decided not to work out like I always do three days a week. I worked out on Monday and felt hurt. So I have not worked out since. I would like to take a bike ride after work, but can't because of the sun going down early. I really miss it with working out. And that's why I feel the blues.

[Clara22]

A friend of mine that lives in other city will come to visit me for a couple of days on Monday. I think It will be good for me although i will have to make an effort.