Worst things people have said to you?

vantonius · Mar 10, 2014, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niceguy

Plenty more fish in the sea- well maybe, but if they made that exact person, it would work. Since they don't- um shut-up!!
(Not directly related to depression - but just **** advice lol)

Just exactly what ive heard many times and i feel exactly like u..

Axiom · Mar 10, 2014, 04:18 AM

You are not depressed, you just feel sorry for yourself.

Nammu · Mar 10, 2014, 04:35 AM

I was a freshman and my floor went out dancing, I just couldn't get into it so I walked away into the snowy night. I was standing on a bridge when I got picked up by a policeman who drove me back to the dorm, dropped me off and said to me that I needed to "just cheer up". Most of my dorm mates were up and mad at me. That morning I went to the campus counseling center and the woman their told me all I had to do was "change my thinking and my mood would improve". I didn't try to get help or tell anyone how bad things were for years after that experience.

bushwackback · Mar 10, 2014, 04:37 AM

"I think you WANT to be miserable."

leomama · Mar 10, 2014, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

and she said... "You're the worst thing that has ever happened to me."

Did Barbie say that to you?

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snarkydaddy · Mar 10, 2014, 10:32 AM

Ha yes she did

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leomama · Mar 10, 2014, 10:32 AM

So the government pays you for having PTSD ?

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leomama · Mar 10, 2014, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snarkydaddy

Ha yes she did

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Yes I thought so. She really imprinted on you.

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snarkydaddy · Mar 10, 2014, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leomama

Yes I thought so. She really imprinted on you.

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I always remember failed experiments

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leomama · Mar 10, 2014, 06:22 PM

"Are you still coming tomorrow?"

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Permanent Pajamas · Mar 10, 2014, 07:16 PM

"You're ugly."

While it may be true, children, you do not say it.

This kind of bullying is why

1) I'm so f***ed up and

2) I can't stand children.

bookmadness · Mar 10, 2014, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Oh my I could make a long list.
Just go for a walk.
Think positive
Do something nice for someone
On face book recently "Get out there and get active and participate"
Last night "Invite a friend over and don't be so alone"
Exercise and diet
I could go on and on. People try to be helpful and don't know how and want to solve the problem. I am ultra sensitive about getting advice about my depression. Not on these forums however. I guess it is human nature to try to problem solve and fix people. Whereas listening, validating, being supportive, and sharing your own experience is much more helpful.

So many of these can be frustrating, but the one I find most aggravating is the exercise and diet when it comes from my T and/or Pdoc.

I understand they are coming from a helpful place (insert more empathic, kind words here), but if I didn't have motivational issues that sprang from my depression, never mind felt like crap for the list of tasks (menial or not) that I would like to accomplish, reminding me that I could practically mend myself with the power of my own two feet and healthy eating? Makes me feel like they don't quite understand what in the world depression truly feels like.

Ugh!

Apologies for the mini rant.

Mar 10, 2014, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bookmadness

So many of these can be frustrating, but the one I find most aggravating is the exercise and diet when it comes from my T and/or Pdoc.

I understand they are coming from a helpful place (insert more empathic, kind words here), but if I didn't have motivational issues that sprang from my depression, never mind felt like crap for the list of tasks (menial or not) that I would like to accomplish, reminding me that I could practically mend myself with the power of my own two feet and healthy eating? Makes me feel like they don't quite understand what in the world depression truly feels like.

Ugh!

Apologies for the mini rant.

So true.....Next on my list of things to do is walk on water.....ugh...

20broken17 · Mar 10, 2014, 09:07 PM

"Don't worry about it so much. What ever it is you will soon move on. Try moving on." My friend just sent me this. Don't you think I try to move on. It isn't that easy.

-jimi- · Mar 10, 2014, 09:23 PM

Trying to break the cycle can be a good thing, and going outside too. So when I was at my worst I started to try to go outside every day like for 5 minutes. It was mega hard. Still I was SO PROUD. I told my counselor about it and she went "Pfff, you need to start exercising at least 20 minutes a day and then work yourself up".

I remained indoors for several weeks after that.

roads · Mar 10, 2014, 09:38 PM

My pdoc told me Friday that I'm going to get steadily worse, there is nothing in medication or other treatment that can help me, that I'm headed for a nursing home.

marszy · Mar 10, 2014, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Oh my I could make a long list.
Just go for a walk.
Think positive
Do something nice for someone
On face book recently "Get out there and get active and participate"
Last night "Invite a friend over and don't be so alone"
Exercise and diet
I could go on and on. People try to be helpful and don't know how and want to solve the problem. I am ultra sensitive about getting advice about my depression. Not on these forums however. I guess it is human nature to try to problem solve and fix people. Whereas listening, validating, being supportive, and sharing your own experience is much more helpful.

How does the Effexor work? I've been thinking about switching to it.

bookmadness · Mar 10, 2014, 10:04 PM

"Calm down."

(When my depression and anxiety clearly have reached full capacity and emergency measures must be taken? uttering the words "calm down" certainly will suffice

)

AMIHERE · Mar 10, 2014, 10:37 PM

I guess the worst thing was there are others who have worse things than you. and they were right. it made me feel so sad and more worthless.

buttercup05 · Mar 10, 2014, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

After giving birth to my last child, I was having an especially hard time. I had just been to an appointment with my OB and he had just prescribed anti-depressants. I had to stop by my mother in laws before going to the pharmacy and was trying to talk to my husband about my appointment and the prescription I was given. My mother in law interjected to inform me my doctor was a quack just trying to get rich because she had 8 kids and never had depression so "obviously" depression is just an excuse for people to be lazy and whine about life for attention. Since that day, my husband is quick to tell me to quit being a lazy attention seeker if I show signs of being down. I never did fill the prescription that day because my mother in law convinced my husband to year it up because it was just a ploy for my doctor to get his money.

Oh my goodness that's terrible im so sorry

.. its so frustrating when people dont understand and pass judgements about something they really know nothing about.

Altered Moment · Mar 11, 2014, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marszy

How does the Effexor work? I've been thinking about switching to it.

It has been the one that has worked best for me over the years. I have been taking antidepressants for twenty years. The problem with them is they "poop out". Meaning after being on one for about a year it quits working and I have to switch things up. Right now I do not think it is working that good and the plan is to switch to one of the newer ones. It has caused me sleep problems which I adapt to after awhile. There is also pristiq which is the active metabolite of effexor. I took it with abilify and it was pretty effective for about a year. It has a longer half life and less side effects. There is no generic for it though. Get the extended release if you get effexor. It is an SNRI.

So yeah for me it has been the most effective over the years for me.

depressedalaskan · Mar 11, 2014, 01:17 PM

You are just no fun to be around.
You make the whole group uncomfortable.

These were told to me by someone very close to me that knew of my depression. I thought I was doing good just getting out of my house.

ashpal · Mar 11, 2014, 01:18 PM

I just got back from a month-long hospitalization for MDD and PTSD (after I tried to kill myself). I've been unable to see my husband or kids the entire time. I told a neighbor/friend that I feel like I've been gone for months instead of just weeks.

She said "Well sure, but it was a nice little break for you." Like I took a vacation. Anyone who has been hospitalized in a mental health facility knows it is NO vacation.

SleeplessInNYC · Mar 12, 2014, 05:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gloamingone

What are the worst, least helpful, and totally ignorant things people have said to you about your depression?

One thing that bugs me is "Just go take a walk. You'll feel much better!"

Seriously? It takes monumental effort to go to the bathroom to pee! How on earth am I going to be able to go for a WALK????

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"Watch a funny movie"

Omg that totally solved everything! Said no one ever lol

ToeJam · Mar 13, 2014, 05:17 AM

Been thinking about this over the past few days… and there was one comment which was much closer to home (was from my wife) while I was teetering very dangerously on the edge.

Context, she is a very devout catholic where as I’m an existential atheist (a partnership that works surprisingly well as we’re both open minded and not pushy):

“I would be very sad if you did something stupid as you’d go to hell”

Well… suffice to say I hit the roof as I was pretty unhinged anyway.

Didn’t talk to her for a few days after that, but in some ways it did curtail other negative thinking and intentions.

I know she meant no malicious intent, but it did provoke a post chat of keeping certain things to yourself.

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