[Flummixed]

Originally Posted by birdpumpkin

Would like to spend time in a hospital for awhile just so I could escape my life for awhile. Things just won't stop happening. Need something good to happen for once...

I could not have said it better myself.

Exhausted from therapy and ratty. Beforehand I was anxious and blergh.

another day of this relentless depression, boredom, loneliness and overall feeling of being defeated

[Nammu]

I'm home now. According to the mood tracker I'm just as depressed as before but the mania is down. I'm also not as suicidal, but nothing else has changed beside the increase in lamictal. The case workers there couldn't find any therapy for me with my lousy insurance either. Talk about bad insurance...their response was there is always the hospital! ? What dumkoffs. Therapy is more effective and less costly.

[Espresso]

It's been a rough day. I was constantly reminded that I have no one. No friends, no family I would open up to, no community groups that I'm a member of, nothing.

[pisces22]

Feeling severely bad today. I don't know how I'm gonna get through today.
This is the only place safe enough for my thoughts.

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[TheOriginalMe]

Exhausted, burnt out, can't imagine telling my doc how bad I've been, I'd feel stupid because it might be over now.

[glok]

The days come ... the days go ... come and go ... come and go.

[Lucy60]

Ok today...disturbed that I can feel myself going numb... numbness is knocking at my door I dare not let numbness enter. Once again a battle within.

[herethennow]

kind of okay. kind of tired. kind of blah. i just feel so mixed today :|

[lizzyjb]

Bad day, another day that my husband has no job. Two days in this week. That means less money but bills are the same.
My worries and fears are going to make my head explode!
I couldn't sleep tonight. I have acostumed to benzodiacepin so tonight didn't do any effect.

[ashland]

Originally Posted by Bark

I had an exam that I barely studied for, didn't buy the books for it and forgot to bring the printed treadings I did have (it was open book). I hope I did okay; a 70 would be fantastic.

It's such a relief to be done with almost everything. Just one more exam I have plenty of time to study for.

I'm also seeing a therapist every week. Finally!

In general, feeling good. Bit tired, but good. Let's see how long I can keep it up.

iam 48 yrs old do you think I got what it takes to go back to college my friend?

[mulan]

Yesterday was an awfull day. I had my first pratical exam ever. A patient, two doctors/teachers, and me in a room. I had to collect the medical history, it was awfull. I knew the questions answears, but I did what I allways do, I can't pay atenction and memorize what the patient is saying, and I got kinda of lost in the middle of the history, I was like "what I am suppose to ask now" and nothing came to my mind. It was bad enough, but the teacher was awfull too. The professor that evaluated me is the one that gives the worst grades. Most of the doctors don't go beneath (??) 15 in twenty. I got 14. I feel really sad about that, it was a bad unfair, evaluation, and it made me feel, like a stupid jerk. Most students, the majority got a 17.
This was the only thing I was good at: school, now it seems I'm no good at anything. And I kinda feel I will be a terrible doctor. Tomorrow is the written test. I still have so much to study, and I don't feel like it.

[Bark]

Originally Posted by ashland

iam 48 yrs old do you think I got what it takes to go back to college my friend?

If you want to go back to college, I say go for it! What's holding you back? Your age might mean you need more time to get back into the studying groove, but there are courses and books for mature learners that could help you out. Much older people have graduated from college. Let us know what you decide.

[dandylin]

Hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait. I am a jumble of emotions today

[Lacer Vita]

Depression's sweeping its way through again. Tired and worn. Caught in quicksand. It'll pass. It'll pass. I tell myself that but I don't know if I believe it. Seems I've been this way so many times it's the norm for me. Just tired. Don't care. Doesn't matter. Move along... nothing to see here.

[regretful]

I'm really regressing into the world of depression and don't feel like there is any way out of it...

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by ashland

iam 48 yrs old do you think I got what it takes to go back to college my friend?

I am 51 and started school last October. Made Dean's list and am amazed at how good it feels to succeed.

[sunnyday]

Sinking deeper and deeper and T is helping much, meds are not working.....getting desperate! Disappointed with my new Psych doc. Running out of options here.

[maddnessreturns]

Took care of myself today got a shower and what not. Sinking on the eating disorder trying to deal with the depression.

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Today has gone relatively fast. It so much helps to have things to do. Unfortunately, one of them was taking my sort of aged dog to the vet only to find out that she has a lump which potentially could be a cancerous tumor. Giving her antibiotics to see if it's an infection that can be gotten rid of. I sure hope so!

[tigerlily84]

The past couple of days have been good. I have energy, I can think clearly and most importantly I don't feel like crap! Here's the weird thing: Tuesday morning I arrived to work in my usual state: full of anxiety and dread. Sometime during my shift my mood lifted and I felt amazing. Happy, light and I was even making jokes. I felt like myself - the old me. This has happened enough for me to know that I will crash sooner or later. The last time I felt like this was last October, and it lasted for 2 months. I've been down since then. I am going to try to fit in all of the things I have been meaning to do but just haven't had the energy to do. Like I made an appt with my GP dr yesterday, and I made a phone call to a potential therapist today. I wish I could be like this all the time.

Update: I have an appointment with a therapist next Tuesday! woo hoo! Why was I so scared and nervous to call? Well let's hope I don't wimp out of this lol.

[TheOriginalMe]

I think the Valdoxan may be working. I was able to go out today, kept busy (still do everything really slow though) and didn't sleep during the day. I am exhausted but relieved. Seeing my doc tomorrow, I think I will try and tell him about my crisis over the last few weeks, I definitely need more support if I get thay way again.

[Espresso]

Meh. Blah blah blah. So on and so forth.

[pisces22]

I have had my lows and highs today.

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