[herethennow]

Originally Posted by Bark

Forgot my password, lost access to my account... but now I'm back. Finally. I've missed you guys.

I've been doing okay. Good days, bad days, a funeral yesterday. But in general pretty well.

pardon me but I kinda giggled when reading through this, Bark! Welcome back

Doing okay. Will bring up my recent sui thoughts with pdoc during the upcoming appointment. My thoughts are still racing though... negative thoughts pooling every second.

For almost 2 months I've been totally useless. I don't do the dishes, laundry only when absolutely desperate, eating junk as I'm too lazy to do the dishes necessary to cook... I feel sorry for my son living with a depressed mother. I don't even want to look outside, the weather is nice but I'm closing the curtains to sleep and do nothing. Useless. No joy in anything. Broke a toe a week ago.. hope it gets better soon so I might feel like making a trip to the store.

[profound_betrayal]

After being brave & 'walking on eggs' re: spouse's MLC, began (about 3 .. 31/2 months ago), he snapped at me for trivial reason - misguided anger, and my mood plummeted!

I got it off my chest though after walking away ... feelin oddly 'quiet' now
profound b.

Originally Posted by Bark

As the last thread reached 100 pages, here's the new one.

How are you feeling today?

[glok]

I have stopped trying to climb out of the abyss.

[Bigmike727]

Today could have been better, it feels like nobody bothers to pay attention to what I want sometimes. On the bright side, I have been reconnecting with some old friends.

[lark265]

well said....me too, exactly

Originally Posted by tigersassy

Feeling like crap. I want to crawl in a hole and sleep forever. I never want to wake up. I hate this

Tig

[Perfectly Broken]

I've been feeling better, I just came back from a date with my boyfriend. It was a nice dinner/movie type date. I'm taking care of the dog we both adopted this week and it's nice to have a furry friend that is indoors I'm concerned about someone and I just hope they will feel better.

[regretful]

It's been going on for so many months now...depression is just so painful, especially when from the outside looking in I should have nothing to complain about...I'm just sad...

[eggplantlife]

Was feeling fine..posting on fb...but now, I feel sad. So long have my life been a mess,..over 8 years...so long I have been living at other people's places....would like to change for the better now!!! Yes!!!!now!!!! Life, please turn around and make my life better!!! Happier!!! Joyous!!! And wealthy!!!!! Please!!!!! Please change for the better!!!!

[herethennow]

Right. So I kind of crashed and I'm really wondering whether I'm due for another depressive episode.

I hate bandages... having to put them on feels really sad that I'm really doing this to myself.

[glok]

... you may have to accept you may never get better ... harsh

[Bark]

Originally Posted by glok

... you may have to accept you may never get better ...harsh

Or you can choose to accept that the possibility exists.

It's hope that keeps you going, even in your deepest, darkest depressions. It's why we post here. Why bother otherwise?

(I will admit, though, that light can get pretty darn dim.)

I hope that wasn't something someone told you, by the way.

Another day, another onslaught of relentless depression. Nothing seems to change from day to day in my mood. Just struggling day after day. Trying to keep busy and my mind occupied, but it's very hard.

[eggplantlife]

not feeling well...don't know what to do.

[Bigmike727]

Could be doing better, I see all of my "friends" happy in their lives while I can hardly find a reason to live, it makes me agitated to even think about it.

I'm not sure I've ever felt worse, I thought things couldn't get worse. I had one day, maybe 3 weeks ago, that I felt "okay". I had to go to the store today, when I got back, I realized it smells like you'd expect if you didn't clean for a month.
I can barely think anymore. I spend too much time here. I try to post, then delete. Try, delete. Because I feel like I'm not worth the space even on here.
The home I last lived in, with the ex that enjoyed my pain and made me feel like dirt, is now turned into actual dirt. I had a few things left there that I would have wanted, but not given notice to get them. Saw for myself, now just an empty buried spot of land.
Was told, good riddance, buried now, you can forget that and its all over with. Still can't forget.
I don't understand, I must somehow deserve the pain I constantly feel. There is no justice. Maybe there is and somehow I just can't see that I do deserve what I get. Maybe I can't see what I've done to deserve to feel like this. I'm tired of hurting, of wanting to just give up and not getting any good moments, even just peace or contentment once in a while, would be enough.

[TheOriginalMe]

Yeah just tired of the depression too. Have been at crisis point for about two weeks now, sometimes I'm almost burnt out, like now. Then whoosh another burst of oxygen reignites the embers. I see my doc on Friday, if I'm burnt out then I'll probably not say anything, so I am thinking about taking hard copies of some of my posts to show how I've been. Anyone ever tried this, did it help?

[fsf123]

new hear lol hey every 1 its been 2 weeks since the my gf/sond mother cheated on me . she apologized and wants to work it out but i dont know if i can trust her anymore

[maddnessreturns]

Down and exhausted. Outpatient ed clinic all afternoon just so mentally drained.

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[Bark]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Yeah just tired of the depression too. Have been at crisis point for about two weeks now, sometimes I'm almost burnt out, like now. Then whoosh another burst of oxygen reignites the embers. I see my doc on Friday, if I'm burnt out then I'll probably not say anything, so I am thinking about taking hard copies of some of my posts to show how I've been. Anyone ever tried this, did it help?

I haven't personally, but sometimes I've written things on my moodtracker or elsewhere that I've shared. I think it's a good idea. Sometimes you really don't know what to say, or don't feel like saying anything, so it's a good springboard. For instance, when I go to my professors at the start of term, I bring a note from my counsellor, have them read it, then go from there. Makes it less difficult for me.

[eggplantlife]

Took a rest yesterday. In and out if sleep. Friend still helping me heal. Please help me fast! Please please! Lord! Please no more.

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[SeekerOfLife]

Defeated.

[regretful]

You know, I am reminded by folks close to me (my wife, esp) that life is not as bad as I make it out to be ~ I sincerely wish that I could see that, but all that I see is depression.

[birdpumpkin]

Would like to spend time in a hospital for awhile just so I could escape my life for awhile. Things just won't stop happening. Need something good to happen for once...

[maddnessreturns]

Exhausted. Couldn't sleep last night. Doubled my dose of depression medication today so I'm wide awake when I really need to sleep.