[Anony]

I've always had my ups and downs, but for the past six months or so, I've felt like I was just floating along: I haven't really taken anything seriously, even when they are serious. In fact, I tend to laugh at everything. I'm often in a daze, staring blankly and I'm even more forgetful than usual. I honestly feel like a crazy person. But for the last two days it seems like all the pain I should have felt all those months came crashing upon me all at once. Every little thing and every little thought I have crushes me and it's as if I can actually feel my heart breaking. When I do get these painful moments, my jaw clenches and aches and my hands start to tense and ache. Also my eyes won't stop twitching. Everything is just SO frustrating!

Since I'm on this rant, I might as well let everything that's really bugging me out: I'm tired of sitting around doing nothing when I know I need money: I live in a place where I can't get a job unless I want to be a truck driver or farmer (believe me, I've applied everywhere, even McDonald's, but for some reason they want someone who's had fast food experience). I want to go back to school and finish my degree, but I can't face people in that kind of situation without having a breakdown. I really want to help my parents out with their financial difficulties: they're at a time in their life when they should be enjoying life for crying out loud! I can't stand seeing them completely exhausted and worn out everyday of their lives. I want my mom to be able to visit her homeland someday soon. I want a vehicle that won't break down for more than a month. I wish everyone in my family would lose several pounds so I'm not so paranoid about everyone's health all the time. This list could go on forever, but I'm tired now, somewhat frustrated and I might as well get started looking into CDL training. *sigh* Terribly sorry for the long rant.

Anony, Wow you sure are worrying a lot about "others" be they family or whoever. You know we;ll all on this earth and all have the same chances,ablitys sucesses, wants, disappointments and dreams. Sometimes we get to do all these things, sometimes we dont, I dont think its up to you to make dreams come true for others or to take on their finances, though it feels that way, normally if been raised to believe its our responsibilty. This is your time, your life, your chance and as you know, that is sometimes "enought" of a responsibilty.

I hope you find a solution to your problems soon and I hope things ease for you emtionally.

Take care

[Boopers]

Anony,

Gosh, you are really struggling right now, huh?

I'm so sorry that it's hard for you and your family right now.
Hopefully, things will get better.

But, I am more worried about you right now. It sounds like you are worrying way too much about things you can't change.

Maybe if you start doing things for you. You should be number one. Concentrate on one thing at a time and see if that helps.

I wish for you peace and happiness. I hope that you find a job that will be something that you like doing.

Best wishest to you!!
Hugs,
Boopers
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Anony)))))))))))))))))))))

[Forsaken]

Hey Anony,

You don't know me, but I'm finding myself in the same situation. Unlike most of the replies on this site, I try not to turn it into something about me. Know that I give a crap about your situation. Here's the deal, I've got no education, and I'm forced to work in fields I don't like. There is light at the end of the tunnel though. Depending on how much mental pressure you can take, just get one of those crappy jobs until you have enough money to go to school, or move. Seriously, come to Alberta. It really is the land of opportunity right now. I mean, freaking McDonalds that you mentioned is paying as much as I'm making as a framer ($13 Canadian). Don't really have a fantastic solution for you. Just wanted to write something long enough to let you know I actually care about what's happening to you. PM me any time.

[Anony]

Thanks for responding mouse, Boopers, and Forsaken. I understand what you're saying about needing to worry about myself before others, but I've been that way my entire life and it's hard to change. I guess I really never felt that I was worth looking out for and I definitely don't feel that I deserve to be a #1 priority. If it wasn't for my family I probably wouldn't be here right now in the first place. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. Sometimes change is really hard for me, but I really am trying to work on it. Once again, thanks everyone.

[EJ711]

Anony,

I have lived in a rural location for going on five years now, and have been miserable, b/c of the limited job situation.

Unless you are an experienced farmer or rancher, you need to be living somewhere else to survive.

I've been trying to get my husband to budge for going on at least three years now. I've got the dynamite out today, and am trying to blast him lose again.

The way the economy is there is no rest for people at, past or nearing retirement age.

I'm so sick of the partisanship in Washington. Nobody is thinking of the American people. The 2008 presidential election has begun.

EJ

[Anony]

Good luck with your husband EJ711! I hope things turn out well for you. We lived in a very similar place when I was little, but my mom whipped out the dynamite everyday for nearly 13 years to finally get my dad to move out of that place, only to have him get a job transfer 20 miles away from where we originally were. My mom was devastated, but the job transfer was too good to pass. That's why I need to find a job, ANY job right now, just to earn some money, so we can go somewhere else.