[Rose76]

Doing pretty good . . . not great . . . but no major complaint. Wish I felt less tired.

[bipolar angel]

Still awake...took melatonin like 2hrs ago with othet meds...should bee tired soon..please. laying down with cat to get him to settle down. Work was stressful because office manager was yelling at coworlets kn front of all of us.

A fairly good day today. What was really weird at work today was that in the afternoon there was hardly anything to do. And then at the last 45 minutes of the day, I had to be with a repairman to fix a machine. While the repairman was wrapping things up, there were a lot of boxes delivered by a carrier that I had to process. I was so busy at the end of my day that I could not finish processing the boxes. So I'll have to finish it up tomorrow.

Yesterday I took my bike to the shop. It needs quite a few things done. The service technician at the bike shop told me that it may not be ready until Friday. I feel like that's going to be a long wait. My bike is my greatest companion for now. I did the laundry today after work, so it didn't make a difference that my bike was gone. Maybe tomorrow it will be ready. The service tech said that he would try to make it ready as soon as possible for me.

This is number 400 now for me in posting. Yea!!

[Bark]

Originally Posted by tigerlily84

5 minutes? I was once 15 minutes late to class and the professor didn't say anything. I think that if you were anymore than 10 minutes late then then the professor may have had a case for being upset, but if you're only 5 minutes late I would say that's excessive. Even so, he could have asked to see you after class; he didn't have to do that in front of everyone. I'm sorry.

I don't think that it's you're fault for being so tired. You've had a rough month. I know you mentioned before that you only take the pain medication if it becomes unbearable, but is it possible that this new med may be reason for your fatigue? Also, if you are following your pdoc's advice regarding going to bed at the same time and you're still tired, it might be time to see your GP. Be kind to yourself.

Yeah, he is incredibly strict in this regard. And it's not the first time he does it. It's okay, I kind of expected it. I feel like he makes an example of people who come late. What worries me more is how many classes I might miss.

I'm not taking the pain med anymore, and I've never taken it more than a few days (and the first time ever maybe two weeks ago), so I doubt it makes a difference. It's an NSAID as well, nothing heavy.

I slept a little earlier last night. I managed to wake up without snoozing (mostly because I saw an important message on my phone), but of course I'm still tired. I kind of feel like going back to sleep.

[Bark]

Last night, depression started to hit, hard. It always starts in the evenings. This morning I feel okay, but I'm a bit worried. I'm behind as it is. And I no longer have a roommate I'm comfortable showing that side of me to.

Better get up and get ready. But I'm tired....

[TheLastChapter]

Today is going to be super stressful. I have to deal with not only taking care of my younger brother, but my father. I also have to deal with the stupid financial aid office at my univerisity because they keep messing up my loans without telling me. Although I came prepared, in my favorite big comfort sweater, I just know how stressful it is all going to be today. I just really want to go back home and watch sad romance movies. But I must get through this day.

[regretful]

Miserable...just plain miserable. Nausea continues, up at 4 AM with insomnia, fits of yelling and screaming with my wife...it's just plain misery

[Hellion]

Ok I guess, won a concert ticket to a metal show maybe two since they said 'tickets' because they had a drawing and I bought some vinyls there so entered in...which is cool, gives me something to potentially try and look forward to, that is not till the end of the month.

[tigerlily84]

Depression and anxiety hit pretty hard in the afternoon/evening yesterday and I still feel the same today. Sui ideation is high.... I'm not going to do anything but I wish I could just stop existing. I am fooling myself - I don't see anything changing or getting better. That's just the way it is. I don't have hope anymore that things will get better. Even when I get a small amount of relief it always turns to **** again. I wish I could just crawl into a hole and that the world would just forget about me.

Deep depression continues. I pray to God the ECT will work at some point. If it doesn't, I have no idea what I will do. As I've said before, I just hate my life right now. It's utter misery. No joy or happiness whatsoever. Hasn't been any in a looooooong time.

[Bark]

Skipped my class this morning. Got hit hard with depression. I was forced to run around to an appointment, deal with a financial issue, pick up reports.... I think the distraction helped. Feeling better. I actually had a sandwich (hadn't eaten anything today except two Oreos from a nurse when I asked for some sugar... I was feeling lightheaded). My appetite was 0. I walked around with a sandwich and ended up giving it to a lady and her kid on the street because they would appreciate it more.

[SoupDragon]

Is it just down to depression? When life feels so hard, is it our thinking that is to blame? Can't the problem lie "out there", like actually life IS really hard for some people with the balance of "bad" things being unfairly pointed their way?

[waterknob1234]

I was doing better and then it all went down the toilet yesterday. I got chewed out by all five of my bosses. Yes I have five bosses. If you do what pleases one boss you piss off another boss. It's a no win situation. I had to do what seemed like the work of four people. The negativity at work was terrible. I started getting a migraine. Then arthritis started hurting. I came home exhausted and in pain. I can't live like this forever.

[breakmystride]

I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I'm miserable, I'm homesick, and I'm not getting enough alone time.

[Trauer]

Stayed in my mancave again today. Been really withdrawn lately...wish I had the guts to venture forth into the world and actually make something more of myself. Soon.

[VMblue]

Really hope my appointment gets cancelled today. I don't feel like talking to people. I know nobody cares. I don't even know why I am trying.

[Clara22]

Yesterday eve my niece, her fiancée and I got bullied by my brother one more time. I felt so vulnerable that I wanted to die. I will try to address some issues to minimize the consequences of what my brother does. I am trying to sell the house my brother and I live in so I can buy a smaller one with my share so I can be by myself but everything goes so slow and he does not cooperate. I think he does drugs. I asked for help to the office of violence against women but they were not helpful at all. Things go so slow also because I am sick and because of my depression. It is difficult to me to make decisions or evaluate situations sometimes. I feel lost

[regretful]

So very very tired of this depression...want it to end, but there seems to be no end in sight to this misery...all I have left is hope...

My depression is so severe I feel I can't take it anymore. Every day is so painful. What will become of me? I hate this thing called life. It is very cruel to me and I hate each moment. Help.

[Clara22]

I just came back from a municipality office and could fix some mess that my brother did with our house taxes. First I was devastated because there was a demonstration at the door of the gov building and they did not allow public to enter. Then the driver of the wheelchair car service I use told me his daughter worked in that office. So he called her by phone, she came outside and facilitated the process for me. I felt hope mostly because I saw the good will of these people that went beyond their duty, as demonstrations are dangerous and the order for the officers is to close the door and remain inside. I got an insight that I need to see myself as a survivor not as a victim

I've been worse, but I could also be a whole lot better. Depression is getting me pretty down. So is my self-esteem (or lack thereof). I really wanna walk to the library, there's a couple books I really wanna check out, and also I have some fines I need to pay. Plus I wanna go see the park next to the library, as I haven't been there all year and would like to see the flowers before it gets too cold and they die. But lately I just...I don't know. I feel too ugly to show myself in public. I am fat and unattractive and I feel like it would be cruel to ruin other peoples' good day to make them have to share space with me. Even though the library's big. Also depression is draining my motivation to do anything...

[Bark]

Hate myself. I'm just listening to music. Don't feel like sleeping, or studying, or anything useful.

When I'm busy during the day or with people, I'm fine. My roommate is feet away and has no clue how I'm feeling.

I've noticed I have a propensity for agitated depressions. Self-destructive thoughts abound. I look at my scars and it doesn't have the same effect. I tell myself that this will pass and it's not worth ruining the progress I've made. My brain's response? **** you. You're screwed, you're going to fail, and everyone would be better off without you; they just don't realize that now.

Useless, worthless... shouldn't even be posting this.

[tokiwartooth]

I was going along ok, and then I heard this song, and all the feelings I have for Ed came rushing back, and it feels like I've been hit in the stomach. He's gone, he's no longer the pastor of our church, he can't come back to the congregation for 2 years while we get settled with a new pastor, and the love letter I wrote him got me a kind reply, but stating that he hopes I can find someone who loves me back and who can make me happy. Truly, even if he wanted a relationship, the rules of the presbytery state that once a pastor leaves a church, he/she cannot come back to visit for 2 years in order to give the congregation time to get settled with the new pastor. He's in England right now on a month long vacation. Who knows what he'll do after that. I know he's always been in love with California. But what about me? What'll happen to me? I'll still be here. It's as if I don't even exist anymore. It's like watching someone board a plane and take off and all you can do is watch them fly away. And in your heart you know they're not coming back.

[Jom Tones]

Add some psychosis and a smidgen of paranoia to the depression and confound the day away.

Unhappy with life in general right now. Tired of what seems like everyone else doing fine and getting ahead in life and I feel like my life is one step up and two steps back. Tired. Of. it.