Men aren't going to be in my life again for another , well, quite a while. Disappointing. I'm at least building up some confidence but ..
depression isn't a huge problem because of other things that have become a priority. Health and just making it through another long day.
I wish I had had a sister I could connect with and feel the same way about things as her. It doesn't help she's lived a thousand miles away for most of my life and is a fair bit older. I was reading a thread last night about "what childhood games did you enjoy playing".. kind of was depressing since I had no one really, but made me think and realize things could have been worse.
Wow, things can always be worse

[angelene]

Intensely depressed so I just "ate my feelings" in the form of two large slices of chocolate pie. That was stupid in general but more specifically so because of my GERD. I'm supposed to wait until an hour after I take my stomach meds to eat... So now, in addition to all my other problems, I have severe heartburn. Feel kind of like vomiting, too. Ugh.

[Turtlesoup]

It's been a rough week for me but I slept good last night & feel much better this morning-feels like the depression fog has lifted from my brain. The sun is out too which seems to always help.

[Bark]

Long day and not enough sleep and a mistake which cost me on my final exam.... Seems reasonable to be down. I'm going to sleep early. I need to work on papers... and study for an exam.... I just want a break already.

[paperwings13]

Finally seem to be getting back in track today. I've been in a bit of a down state, sleeping a lot, and not getting much done. But today i got up early and did accomplish stuff that's been sitting around. Also cleaned. So I'm feeling hopeful things are going to get better.

Wow...today's been kinda rough. Apart from the clouds and depression I mentioned earlier (which are both still problems). How about let's start that I tossed and turned and tossed and turned last night to finally fall asleep at around 2 am. Fitful sleep. Then woke up at 5:45 AM, couldn't get back to sleep for nothing. My mouth was like a desert and I had to pee really, really bad. So I finally got up at 6:17, waaaay early. My dad still hadn't left for work yet. I watched him leave at shortly after 7. Of course, my mom was asleep still. So I was up alone.

I decided to just stay up because I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep for nothing. Then at around 10:30 I got hit especially hard with depression and...yes, I think it was grief. I ended up sitting on my bed and crying into a hoard of snotty tissues for 30 minutes. Finally I ran dry at just after 11. I was exhausted, in the purest sense of the word. And so I turned out the lights and lied down, and ended up sleeping till 2:45. I could've slept way longer, honestly.

Now it's after 3 and my dad just came back home from work with alcohol. Dear god I hope my nap won't **** up my sleep schedule, that'll be just what I need - even less daylight. I hope they won't fight tonight either, but they probably will. Better to just brace myself for the inevitable than hope for the unlikely.

At this rate it's going to take a miracle to carry me through to Christmas...

[TheOriginalMe]

My boss was vile to me today while we were alone then once there were other people he was all nice. That is one good thing about losing my job, he won't be my boss for very much longer and his loss will be far, far greater than mine. He can't do the work I do and he can't get anyone else in either because if he does I would have a case for discrimination. Obviously my mood is rock bottom, how and when I start the crawl back up idk.

[tigerlily84]

I feel agitated. Just all the time, agitated. My neck and arms are sore, but I haven't done anything. I'm having weird and creepy dreams, and this headache that has stayed with me since yesterday. I've been making some mistakes at work. I'm still trying to remember people's names, and just when I feel like I'm starting to get a hang of things, I find that I don't. To top it off, as I was about to leave for the day, one of my coworkers (whose name escapes me) said "I hear that you're having too much fun." I didn't know what to say. What does that mean? I think he was kidding, but I'm not sure. Now I can't forget it. It makes me doubt everything. I'm just so tired. I'm doing my best. But what if it's not good enough?

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Wow...today's been kinda rough. Apart from the clouds and depression I mentioned earlier (which are both still problems). How about let's start that I tossed and turned and tossed and turned last night to finally fall asleep at around 2 am. Fitful sleep. Then woke up at 5:45 AM, couldn't get back to sleep for nothing. My mouth was like a desert and I had to pee really, really bad. So I finally got up at 6:17, waaaay early. My dad still hadn't left for work yet. I watched him leave at shortly after 7. Of course, my mom was asleep still. So I was up alone.

I decided to just stay up because I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep for nothing. Then at around 10:30 I got hit especially hard with depression and...yes, I think it was grief. I ended up sitting on my bed and crying into a hoard of snotty tissues for 30 minutes. Finally I ran dry at just after 11. I was exhausted, in the purest sense of the word. And so I turned out the lights and lied down, and ended up sleeping till 2:45. I could've slept way longer, honestly.

Now it's after 3 and my dad just came back home from work with alcohol. Dear god I hope my nap won't **** up my sleep schedule, that'll be just what I need - even less daylight. I hope they won't fight tonight either, but they probably will. Better to just brace myself for the inevitable than hope for the unlikely.

At this rate it's going to take a miracle to carry me through to Christmas...

Last night I finally went to bed at around midnight, only to end up crying again, for about another 10-15 min. Then I fell asleep. Today I woke up feeling alright. Maybe it was all the crying I did yesterday, but today I feel lighter, emotionally. It's cloudy again, which has me feeling slightly down, but nowhere near as bad as yesterday.

All of that could change, though, and I would not be surprised if it did. I know my parents are going to drink tonight. Whether or not they'll fight is the issue. Last night they didn't fight even once. I doubt I'm lucky enough for that to happen 2 nights in a row. But we will see.

[aprillynn197]

Depression is aweful anxiety is high. I am overwhelmed. I can't think straight or concentrate. I can't have fun or laugh at all. I am in misery and I have four kids that need me daily. Im just so broken. Don't think I can ever be fixed.

[regretful]

Terrible disease...just terrible...

[angelene]

I hate my life. Every day is the same. I know I'm the only one who can change it, all I have to do is smile and blah, blah, blah...
My friend, who lives hours away, is having a party tomorrow night and I'm invited. In the past I would have definitely made it. But now... I don't know. Just feeling awful today.

[paperwings13]

Could not sleep at all last night. I dont get it. I go from sleeping too much to having insomnia. Ive considered getting screened for bipolar, but i know this it's insomnia and not manic. It's frustrating though; i go from sleeping too much and not wanting to sleep to insomnia and wanting to sleep. Its really messing with studies too...

I'm okay just have to get my health back, and keep up my boundaries... good luck with that, I'm extra lonely now

[Bark]

I think the stress around exams and undone papers and less sleep and volunteering and finances and others' ill health means that I'm going to be more depressed these days. Depressed and agitated. I took my night med early and I feel the tiredness coming on. But as long as I'm awake... the thoughts want to come out and play.

[x123]

I feel really good today. I wish I could feel this way every day. I can't remember the last time I felt this good.

I can sympathize with everybody who probably doesn't feel good today. I felt pretty bad yesterday.

[TheOriginalMe]

Tubulent times when I saw my nurse today. So much came out, secrets from 1966. I've always been good at keeping secrets, now I know why. I'm very emotionally distant now, I don't feel much of a connection to the person who disclosed all those secrets. Even when I do connect them to me, I want to be mistaken, wrong, or even inventing stories.

[hope2010]

Originally Posted by regretful

Terrible disease...just terrible...

I agree .... I still hope for a better tomorrow though. I am not an optimistic am just don't want to give it up! This misery have to stop sooner or later, happened before, I should expect to feel better again, we all should ... when? IDK

It seemed like a very long and slow week for me. Last week was so nice just having a three-day work week. This was a full week and the business seemed very slow. The days were dragging, along with having rainy days. But where I am, we needed that rain because it does not rain often here.

I come home feeling very exhaustive and it's ironic because it has not been busy at work. Been feeling very depressed this whole week. Also I have not been sleeping well. When I don't sleep well, I feel like I am existing in the black clouds.

[Rose76]

not making too much progress getting out of this rut.

[darkpurplesecrets]

I feel sad, forgotten, and like it doesn't matter. I am tired and not feeling well, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I wonder why try at all. This is one of those times........

[aprillynn197]

Feel like **** today

[aprillynn197]

Want a redo

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

I feel sad, forgotten, and like it doesn't matter. I am tired and not feeling well, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I wonder why try at all. This is one of those times........

May we quietly sit together?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( dps ))))))))))

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

I feel sad, forgotten, and like it doesn't matter. I am tired and not feeling well, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I wonder why try at all. This is one of those times........