Daily Check In — Ups and Downs Thread 12

Turtlesoup · Dec 08, 2014, 08:30 PM

I'm definitely sliding down the depression slope-just trying to hang on. I wrote all kinds of crappity crap crap in my journal which only made me feel a little better. I'm shocked I was so productive today but I feel so low right now I don't know where that energy came from or where it went. Bleh now I'm rambling-need to go finish my pasta sauce-then maybe just give up & slink off to bed.

waterknob1234 · Dec 08, 2014, 09:01 PM

I had such a busy day but it went smoothly. I am so tired and the end of my workday. My clerical duties are also so far behind. I am not sure how I will keep up.

But I am thankful that everyone at work was pleasant and the day went smoothly.

Rose76 · Dec 08, 2014, 11:35 PM

Have been sad and crying.

Justicia · Dec 09, 2014, 12:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose76

Have been sad and crying.

That's how I was all day today and part of my work day, I was crying in front of my boss on the floor and it was terrible, I just went into the bathroom and cried and felt terrible, but then I decided instead of going home and feeling even more lonely and isolated I stuck it out at work and I felt better probably because I was around people. Maybe that will help you out, just force yourself to be around people if you are able to. Hopefully you feel better tomorrow, I hope this has helped you a little. Good luck !

Rose76 · Dec 09, 2014, 01:05 AM

Thank you, Justicia. Good for you staying on the job and feeling the better for it. I need to come out of my hermit's existance and join my community in some way.

tigerlily84 · Dec 09, 2014, 01:14 AM

I have a sneaking suspicion that my med is pooping out on me. Things were great 3 weeks ago. And I just feel horrible now... anxious, can't sleep/stay asleep, headaches (migraines galore), and stomach issues. I don't have time for this. I have to prove myself at this job. It's so competitive there. TBH I don't know that it's the best environment for me - I think I'm too sensitive for it, I guess. Today I cried in my car as soon as work was over. I doubt it will be the last time that happens.

regretful · Dec 09, 2014, 11:25 AM

Just returned from an MD appt...more weight gain, thanks to depression and Viibryd...up about 30 pounds...this stinks...wish I could just be done with this depression.

Fuzzybear · Dec 09, 2014, 01:51 PM

I usually feel better after a good meal of salmon

Justicia · Dec 09, 2014, 02:55 PM

Today is ok. It's not bad but not awesome. Yesterday I was able to keep working at my job even though there was an offer to go home but I decided to stay and I felt better because I was around people. My psychiatrist appt. is tomorrow and I'll tell him how ****** everything is. I can't live like this anymore. Ugh. About to start work soon. Wish me luck or something !

Bark · Dec 09, 2014, 03:03 PM

I think the suicidal thoughts are a little less today. They're just thoughts; annoying ones, though.

I haven't been this consistently depressed in a while.

angelene · Dec 09, 2014, 03:44 PM

I have a voice mail waiting for me. I know it's my pdoc's office calling to remind me of my appointment in a few days. Knowing I have the appointment is a bit of a relief.

TheOriginalMe · Dec 09, 2014, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justicia

Today is ok. It's not bad but not awesome. Yesterday I was able to keep working at my job even though there was an offer to go home but I decided to stay and I felt better because I was around people. My psychiatrist appt. is tomorrow and I'll tell him how ****** everything is. I can't live like this anymore. Ugh. About to start work soon. Wish me luck or something !

Carrying on at work when depression and emotions are running riot is so hard. Last week I was given bad news at work, it absolutely crushed me, it took 3 days before the ******** offered me time off and that was only an hour! You did well staying on and it really can help being around people. Hope your day goes better than yesterday.

TheOriginalMe · Dec 09, 2014, 05:23 PM

I kept as low a profile as possible, but I still feel that everyone at work is out to get me, even though they've already won. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. To cap it all, my liver function test results have come back high, that probably means I'll have to change meds in the foreseeable future and the remaining options aren't all that great.

Turtlesoup · Dec 09, 2014, 07:21 PM

Slept pretty well last night & enjoyed a low key day.

Espresso · Dec 09, 2014, 10:17 PM

I've had a rough day. I made some bad decisions because of said rough day, and now I hate myself for it. I want to destroy myself.

lonely-and-sad · Dec 09, 2014, 10:28 PM

I am under huge stress.

Rose76 · Dec 09, 2014, 11:40 PM

I'm better tonight than I was.

Justicia · Dec 10, 2014, 02:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

Carrying on at work when depression and emotions are running riot is so hard. Last week I was given bad news at work, it absolutely crushed me, it took 3 days before the ******** offered me time off and that was only an hour! You did well staying on and it really can help being around people. Hope your day goes better than yesterday.

Thanks, I really appreciate it a lot. And yes, today was definitely better than yesterday, I was sleepy but otherwise not depressed, I just don't do well being alone ! Ever, which is something that I have to work on that's for sure.

Justicia · Dec 10, 2014, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

I kept as low a profile as possible, but I still feel that everyone at work is out to get me, even though they've already won. Talk about kicking someone when they are down. To cap it all, my liver function test results have come back high, that probably means I'll have to change meds in the foreseeable future and the remaining options aren't all that great.

Try and focus on the task at hand try and be as much in the moment as possible, if that's even possible. I've been trying for so long to try and stay in the present moment but my depression just ignores that and says ***k that and keeps me in the "what if","I should be","Why aren't I" moments. Good luck with the future med change, I know how difficult those can be with moments of feeling unmedicated can be. But I wish you the best of luck !

aprillynn197 · Dec 10, 2014, 08:41 AM

Today is OK I'm feeling Like I can do things. Even though a small cloud still resides over my head

lonely-and-sad · Dec 10, 2014, 08:45 AM

A step closer to the end. I am interested to hear from anyone here that copes well with complete isolation.

Dec 10, 2014, 08:50 AM

I cant cope with isolation. I need to be with someone. I've been isolated for 2 and half years in my apartment with almost no girlfriend to visit.

I can only read yours lonely and sad, sorry, I'm really mad at myself today. Really mad.
Aren't we all meant to have someone to love? I always thought that, and I'd never thought I'd be getting old and unhealthy with no one that loves me.