[gayleggg]

I know depression is really rough. I was seriously depressed for over two years before they finally got meds to work for me. I, also, know that with the holidays it gets a lot worse for some of us. I want to encourage everyone to hang in there. I had given up on finding something that would work, thank goodness my doctor didn't give up on me. There is hope.

[Clara22]

Like Gayle, I have been with severe depression and anxiety for 2 years. I started psychiatric treatment and therapy almost three months ago together with medical treatment for a serious condition. They found I was with an important anemia and hypothyroidism indeed. I feel much better, with less anxiety and depression. Before I was isolated and with phobias towards people, particularly doctors. I am improving little by little. There is hope. Fluoxetine is working so far

[Bark]

I buy simple foods because I know I'm not in the mood to cook. I have eggs... too much effort. Carrots... I took them out of the fridge so that maybe I'll actually peel them before they start to get moldy... too much effort. I bought some baguettes to eat with baked beans... have to microwave the beans... too much effort. I need to stop whining and eat at least one of them before they go bad. I've been eating plain baguettes... taste good enough. And cereal is the easiest thing for me.

That's not to mention the pile of clean laundry on my bed that I can't be bothered to fold.

And my stuff all over the floor.

Maybe if my roommate was here it wouldn't be such a disaster. I miss my old roommate.

[angelene]

Laundry. Ugh.

[Justicia]

Today is pretty good so far, I don't know if it's just a good day or my meds are working because I have 2 good days in a row, which recently has been extremely rare. But I am seeing my psychiatrist today and I'm going to DEMAND for a med that works on my depression because I'm on Geodon for voices and it's supposed to work for depression too, but just recently it has NOT been working because I almost had to check myself into the hospital because I was so low. So this will be a good appt. today that's for sure. I'm going to be very direct and get my ***** figured out.

[TheOriginalMe]

Exhausted, fed up of the games at work, need a break but one of the silly games has been to turn down a leave request. It isn't worth challenging the decision more is the pity.

[Turtlesoup]

Seems like a lot of us are struggling with the depression beast right now-I can relate to feeling no energy to cook & clean-many is the time when even cereal is too much effort (even just scarfing it from the box)-& keeping up with household stuff forget about it-big hugs & positive thoughts to all who are struggling-you're not alone & remember it will pass.

[Justicia]

Not doing well right now, feeling really low even though I'm around people. Feeling suicidal and worthless. Ugh, this is miserable.

[Rose76]

I'm just a mess.

[lonely-and-sad]

One of those days where you cry a lot.

[herethennow]

i confess: i am getting really bad at sticking to posting somewhere often.

not doing so well. after some time being okay.
kinda attempted sui the other day but i lied to my pdoc that i didn't... i just didn't want to get hospitalised coz there are many submissions due at the moment and.

i dont feel like caring anymore tbh.
i dont care about what i eat (not eating even) or...

i hate being back here.

Originally Posted by lonely-and-sad

Yeah me too. How old? F or M? And have you tried a lot of things like me?

I'm in my latter 40's, female. I don't know what you've tried but I noticed it seems to be kind of a game for men. That's the way it feels so far anyways. I don't look for bad men, just seem to have ended up with them

My depression is ... IS
But working on it.
Hugs all

[lonely-and-sad]

Not sure what you mean by a game?

[favoritefountain2]

Having a hard time checking in. I've been super busy for the past few weeks and I feel like I'm in some kind of Lewis Carroll story. At any time I expect the Queen of Hearts to show up shouting "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" I'm not sure if I'm going insane or if everyone already is insane and I'm the attending at the asylum. Things are "pivoting" so fast around here it is getting ridiculous. One day we're doing one thing, the next we're doing the opposite. Everyone is throwing buzzwords around like we're playing buzz word bingo ("We need to pivot on our synergies in order to maintain the agile dynamic within the M&M team!"). And I'm just sitting here thinking "Why are we acting like chickens with our heads cut off?" This is the most disorganized office environment I've ever been in and I don't think it is healthy for me.

[angelene]

Pdoc appointment today. Half relieved it's finally here and half wish I didn't have to go.

[aprillynn197]

A little tense today. Kids have me rattled. I need to escape for a bit.

[regretful]

It's those lingering feelings of depression...just blah...no motivation to do anything other than ruminate on the bad decisions I've made in my life...

[Bark]

Thought I might be feeling better. Nope. The regular stressors aren't helping. I have to add additional information for my part of a group project which I had been hoping was behind me. I still don't feel like doing the dishes but I rinsed/scraped out stuff that was probably starting to grow. My clothes are still covering half my bed. And I do not want to write for that paper. It was hard enough before.

But I'm not that depressed... I can still drag myself out of bed and I have some slight motivation to attend things and see friends.... I even went to my martial arts class (exercise and all that).

I kind of wish my parents could take care of me instead of me having to help out all the time... the intermediary. I wish I didn't have to worry about money. I wish my friends and family were healthy and happy.

I've started an upped dose today; placebo could be the reason I felt a bit better earlier. Placebo or not, it's something.

I hope no one sees the room. I have to fix it up by Sunday before my roommate gets back.

[TheOriginalMe]

I was at home today, it is amazing how being in a different town to my boss made all the difference, I actually felt not too bad today. Still very prone to worrying about my lack of job prospects right now.

Parents fought horribly Monday, Tuesday, and yesterday night, and I'm just waiting and bracing myself for tonight's fight to break out any time. Damn alcohol. Dad asked me for a 20 today, so he could pay for booze, like, really? We should not be broke already. I gave it to him anyway, reluctantly, and now I feel like whatever happens tonight will be my fault, for giving in. I feel guilty.

[Turtlesoup]

Definite up & down day for me-lot of energy earlier today & now just meh. I was supposed to see my tdoc today but he rescheduled me for tomorrow because of the huge storm we're dealing with here-guess I will see what tomorrow brings-just feel so apathetic & sluggish right now.

[Justicia]

Today I went to my therapy appointment and it was really hard, I wanted to go but I felt so depressed. And pretty much all I did was cry for like 30 mins. while she told me that this feeling will subside but I just felt SO terrible I thought it would never end, like if you hate roller coasters and it won't ever stop it just keeps going and you never see the end. (And I never cry in front of people and I've only met her like 4 times, but I guess it was healthy, I felt SO tired afterwards.)
I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was so miserable, BUT right after I sent a package to my uncle for sending me a new phone in the mail, so I felt productive and that made me feel good. Then since I was so tired I decided to take a nap to escape for a bit, I know I slept too long, but it was a long nap, that I don't think was unhealthy, it was long but it was ok. I had a really cool mystery themed dream and I woke up ok, I didn't feel depressed anymore, and even though this coffee shop closes in a little less than an hour I'm still out with people and not alone which is healthy for me, I really really need to surround myself with people even if I really don't want to.
I just ... need to be more in control of how I treat my body, I am just so disconnected from it, so from now on I will be carrying my yoga mat with me where ever I go so if I have to do yoga in the nasty basement of my job, then so be it, but I need to be connected to myself again, yoga will ease my pain and I will be better, or at least I hope so. And in my therapy appt. we did "body work-ish" stuff where I would just hold my forehead or my throat or chest area and I would say "I will get out of this. It will end." And I just closed my eyes and was breathing, and I didn't really care what she thought of me, which is a new mindset I really haven't experienced before, I usually don't ever close my eyes and just breathe in front of anyone. I was kind of meditating but I was also really tired so I wanted to close my eyes, and I felt better once I did that. If have that mindset of tranquility then maybe that's what I'll get out of it, or at least I hope so, starting tomorrow yoga will be my morning mindset, it will wake me up and ease my chronic pain. Writing this was beneficial, I just hope that tomorrow brings me more hope. Thanks everyone !

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

Parents fought horribly Monday, Tuesday, and yesterday night, and I'm just waiting and bracing myself for tonight's fight to break out any time. Damn alcohol. Dad asked me for a 20 today, so he could pay for booze, like, really? We should not be broke already. I gave it to him anyway, reluctantly, and now I feel like whatever happens tonight will be my fault, for giving in. I feel guilty.

Well, now it seems that I've bought myself a night of hell...

[Rose76]

I go through the motions of doing things like a robot. I'm afraid this might be some permanent change in me . . . that it won't get better.

[BubonicPlague]

You didn't love me.

Why did you treat me this way???

I will never forgive you for what you did...