Trouble keeping myself "on track"/feeling like a child

Hello,

My condition has been worsening for some time now, but I feel like I can't trust myself with my actions. Whenever I start making progress , my mind jumps to something different (other option). (I have GAD, ,major indecision issues, just depressive outlook on life, negativity, feeling of not belonging/not fitting in, isolation, perfectionism, etc). I get easily distracted because I don't feel anything is working.

Generally, I have begun feeling like a child where I actually feel I need someone physically with me to calm me down and keep me on track (like a coach or something). (I guess it could be the dependent personality disorder mixed in) I do do therapy once a week, but it's not helping. I don't take meds. I suppose that could be an option. I feel like I disintegrate and spiral out of control more and more with every passing day.

I'm wondering if someone else has been in this situation, and if so, what have you done in order to address it? I just can't deal with being almost 37 and feeling like a child.

Thanks.

-stuck

I understand what you mean about needing someone else to calm you down - i am very dependant on other people and actually struggle on my own. Im also a perfectionist too! Im sorry i cant offer some more helpful advice, but i do empathise and understand.

Sounds similar in a lot of way. Though I tend to push people away instead, for their own good, so they don't have to deal with my empty uselessness and carelessness, i.e. non-existence. It'd be nice if there could be an easy solution to get back to life. So far, only spontaneous actions ("on the spur of the moment" kinda stuff) seem to be the only distractions from such hell to me. When I'm willing to do something without wanting to do it...But they are just very short distractions, and they go away way too soon, so the same 'broken' status remains in the end. Can't find the solution to this one.

I, too, can relate. I sleep way too late and I have lacked self discipline as of lately. A coach would be great - and i think those are out there but would more than likely cost a lot. Sometimes I feel "stuck" - like I'm trying to do things but I'm moving so slowly, or can't find the energy to get up and do something.

What to do? Everyone is different, but I have been making lists lately. I will also set myself reminders on my phone. For example, I'll set a reminder to get ready to go to the store, and another one to leave for the store (in case I've gotten side-tracked since that first reminder).

I also push people away; I feel like I'm so unorganized and spazmo that they shouldn't have to deal with it lol.

In my case, it is making me feel like I don't like myself, but I know better than thinking that way. I'm the only one that knows "my circumstances", you know? I'll try and think of a couple reasons I do not suck - personality, intent/good will, whatever it may be.

I hope you find a way to get out of the muck. You already admitted to yourself that there is something about yourself you'd like to change and that is amazing! I think it takes a great person to keep in touch with reality like that.

Thank you all. One one hand it's comforting to know there are others in similar situation. On the other, it's a shame there doesn't seem to be a solution.

I too try to make lists, but I feel like they are without purpose. In other words, I feel they're just distractions and the problem is still there. So my thinking goes like this, "why should I do this because I know I'm going to feel the same". I also feel the sluggishness. And I think it's because the thoughts tell me why bother. There's nothing to look forward to. The things I "should be" looking forward to, I don't.

The only "pleasures" are as NotTooShabby pointed out seem to be incidental distractions even if they are of unpleasant nature for me. Something that needs to be taken care of, for example. Sometimes I will purposefully create a situation, e.g. inviting a friend to dinner. Honestly, I don't want to. I don't think, for example, he's such a good friend. But I know it'll distract me with cooking and having some wine (which will take edge off the anxiety), so I do it.

It's the feeling of sameness and lackluster world, and no matter what I think of, I feel doomed.

I too push people away. Mainly because I don't know what I am any more myself and everything seems so negative. I'm no longer sure how to present myself, act, talk about myself. For example, if they ask me how is the job or what did you do this week, etc. I hate it all. So I have to make it all up.

Hey stuck ,

Have you been diagnosed with the disorders that you listed? GAD, perfectionism, and those others? Have you spoken with a T about these things? Have they recommended any techniques to try and help yourself get past these times?

Just asking because, other than GAD, the symptoms that you listed could certainly be symptoms of depression. I do have several of the symptoms that you listed as well. Perfectionism, indecision, negativity, isolation, not fitting in, etc. I also have med-resistant major depression. I'm not trying to diagnose you (not at all). I am just wondering if there is a similarity, if someone is helping you work through these struggles, as well as if you've tried looking at things from another angle.

Best wishes to everyone struggling with this.... (whatever it's called!).

All I can say, si that I hear you. I am beginning to feel like both an old man, and at the same time, an immature child who has never really accomplished anything in his life. It's tough.

Hi stuck,

I might have some suggestions. I've been seriously depressed, but I haven't had the "feeling like a child" as you're describing, so don't feel like I really understand where you're coming from. On the other hand, I think that if you've got mental issues, it always makes sense to first check for medical or nutritional problems that could cause them. You can find a partial list and a video in post #74 in this thread

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...escaped-8.html

Also, since the safe healthy tries to make depression better are great for you anyway, why not give them a try? I'm thinking of improving your diet, exercise and meditation, for instance. For the major decision issues, you might want to try "SNAP CLUB" as described in the above thread. This might even be a good thing to try first because if it works, it will make doing everything else you want to try much easier.

- vital