[TheOriginalMe]

This itching is driving me nuts. I don't have a rash or anything, just sore places from where I've scratched. I hope this is just winter skin, please let this be winter skin. I'm worrying (because I always worry) that the itching is a sign of liver problems, my last LFT was raised, due to my meds.

TMI - alert

I'm staring at every wee that I do, thinking is that dark, how dark is dark? I'm staring at every poo thinking is that pale, how pale is pale? Are my eyes yellow? Then there is the fatigue and general malaise of the past few days too.

However, I know I get somatic symptoms and this week has been a stressy one, so maybe I'm fussing over nothing. I keep telling myself, this is just winter skin. I suppose if this doesn't resolve by Monday I'll see my GP for another LFT.

It was a busy and nice day today. But nothing much socially. Didn't do anything with anyone today. Very lonely, but I kept myself busy enough. Sometimes on the weekends, I realize how lonely I really am. Sometimes it feels pathetic.

Very hot outside today and it sapped my energy. It's still warm tonight. I will watch a movie at home. I hope that the neighbors do not make much noise because I have to keep the windows open. I guess as the temperatures go up, the IQs go down. That's why I get very depressed and hate hot weather.

[Rose76]

I'm still doing pretty good. Slightly dismayed that I gained 5 pounds since Christmas.

[Bark]

Thought I'd listen to calm music and tell myself to have nice dreams. I dreamed I was inpatient. Again. And it felt so real. I hate it. I don't want to be back there. It's pointless.

Woke up depressed. But I have to do something today. Like eat properly and study.

Oh Man, it's another day of feeling very depressed. I just don't feel like doing anything. Not even sure if I want to go jogging, which I always got pumped to do. Wonder if I should call my pdoc's office tomorrow and let him know what's going on? He did reduce my Effexor dose not long ago. Maybe that's a contributor to this . . . ?

Got a call from my older boy, he knows how to make me feel better about myself.. i'm thankful that I woke up feeling better today. I maybe made a bit of a fool of myself, drank six beers, decided to say something nasty to the guy, but he was much nastier to me the day before, and I feel ok about it. I've done much worse when drunk.
Son is doing well working hard, younger is more of a problem to motivate, but when I finally smarten up and get my act together he'll see a better example. One slip up is ok.
Oldest has a plan to get a car, we can split the cost, and I love the idea. I need to get out of this little town once in a while.
Hugs to all, hear you.... just don't like my hugs badge for some reason. If I hugged every post I read there would be thousands... I wish depression and illness didn't exist, but maybe we are the ones who really understand the world, and the rest who don't get so incredibly depressed are just living in a different world, oblivious to the bad things?
Going to make something good to eat, my appetite is back now.

[herethennow]

:/ not good. I basically have given up. Sigh.

Meeting pdoc tmr. Question now is: to tell the truth, or to lie through my teeth?

[Bark]

Feeling better. Still feel like I'm on the edge though. Had to get out to pick something up, then I decided to get groceries and meds and have lunch out. Doing laundry now, folded my clothes, tidied up a bit, did the dishes. I think I should rewrite some notes I've been putting off. Shouldn't be stressful like reading.

i finally got round to watching lucy today. (it was an okay movie)

read some too

today's not been too bad..

[angelene]

Not feeling so bad today. Maybe because I got out of the house the other day?
Physically, it's another story.

[Turtlesoup]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

This itching is driving me nuts. I don't have a rash or anything, just sore places from where I've scratched. I hope this is just winter skin, please let this be winter skin. I'm worrying (because I always worry) that the itching is a sign of liver problems, my last LFT was raised, due to my meds.
I'm staring at every wee that I do, thinking is that dark, how dark is dark?

Are you drinking enough water-most folks don't. You need 8-10 glasses daily unless you are on some type of fluid restriction from cardiac issues. Many skin problems you describe & dark urine are often from dehydration. It's also important for those of us on meds to stay hydrated-I think it would be a good idea to get your labwork checked just to get that extra stress off of you. Take care

[Turtlesoup]

Originally Posted by herethennow

:/ not good. I basically have given up. Sigh.

Meeting pdoc tmr. Question now is: to tell the truth, or to lie through my teeth?

So sorry you are feeling this way & I totally get the whole how honest should I be? I struggle with that at times & am working on being as open with my team as I can-I am getting more comfortable with them & they are very supportive & last week I was able to verbalize some things I vowed would never leave my head & although I had some initial anxiety I felt much lighter afterward. I have something I've been dragging around that I also thought would never see the light of day & I think I will be able to talk to them about it soon. I still worry sometimes that if I over share I will wind up inpatient but as I am building more trust with my team I am trusting more that they will make good decisions on that if I need it. Please let us know how you're doing-you're not alone & we do care

[dandylin]

Feel like I'm being setup for a slap-down. I have no support system for dealing with husband's cardiac issues and hospitalization and my sister sent me a note asking about how he was, but last time I took the bait she just dropped it and made me feel like an idiot for trusting her

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by dandylin

Feel like I'm being setup for a slap-down. I have no support system for dealing with husband's cardiac issues and hospitalization and my sister sent me a note asking about how he was, but last time I took the bait she just dropped it and made me feel like an idiot for trusting her

[TheOriginalMe]

Still itching, I am drinking plenty so that isn't the problem. I tried taking anti-histamines and they haven't worked I'll call the GP tomorrow, but I'll feel such a fool, I always do. I just feel that I am a nuisance.

I've been on a downer today, I just can't see any hope of recovery or even respite, depression just stretches out ahead of me.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by herethennow

:/ not good. I basically have given up. Sigh.

Meeting pdoc tmr. Question now is: to tell the truth, or to lie through my teeth?

Tell the truth, otherwise the doc can't help you. Best of wishes.

[waterknob1234]

I am actually feeling pretty good today. But today is Sunday. On Sunday I go to church and that is always positive. Then I took a trip to the beach with my daughter and we went to a bluegrass concert. That was fun.

Tomorrow I have to go to work and that is where all the garbage happens. So we will see what tomorrow brings.

[LindaLu]

Mixed kind of day. People were mostly kind and helpful. I was a little snivelly and that was embarrassing.

[Teacup381]

I woke up feeling so miserable today but now it's not so bad. I slept ok last night but still woke up feeling unrested

[Nammu]

An ehh kind of day.

[herethennow]

overwhelmed with sadness.

when will all of these end

[breakmystride]

I'm in so much pain right now. I'm so tired of fighting this. I need someone to be there for me, but I have no one I can trust.

[Chummy]

I want the medication to work. I know it takes more than 1,5 weeks to work. And they might not even do something for me. I just don't want to feel like this anymore. I can't take it much longer.

[SeekerOfLife]

Yesterday was bad. Today (now) is bad. My stomach is knotted. I just want to go to bed and shut out the world.

Daily Check In - Ups and Downs Thread 14 is here.