[eggplantlife]

I was going to start a new thread but this might be best here. Almost all the thread TITLES I could have written. I think I am going crazy. I'll leave it at that...but please someone take me out of here! It's not the people. It's not the environment. It's me. Don't like it here. Places I like threw me away.

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

i've gotten worse again. my mood has dropped. i'm not sure if its PMS or something bigger. my T was very worried about me and called my parents in to tell them i'm getting urgey again. she was lovely, i feel so bad that this is happening again.

i dont know why im dropping. please God let this be PMS and not another breakdown. please.

im feeling a bit better today. a bit.

Yesterday afternoon I almost felt happy. Almost. For a moment. And was like, wow, is my mood really improving finally? Well no, bc the next minute I could feel the tears start. So tired of my head going through this whirlwind! But I'm still not back in the darkness... Carrying on. For now.

i'm meh. just PMSing and waiting patiently for it to be over.

Well I woke up feeling kind of glum but had to take a Percocet for migraine and then my mood improved. It's not really a genuine good mood; it's drug-induced. I'm not abusing them though - - have legitimate moderate/severe pain.

Not much on the agenda for today besides horse riding lesson at 1 this aft. Also have to pick up prescriptions. Doing some laundry. Looking forward to summer when possibly I can crew some sailboat races or cruising on the weekends. Will have to wait until next fall probably before I'm in good enough shape to do 5k running races and horse trail riding on the weekends. I think most sailboat races are during the week, so that means I still have 5 months or so to try to fill up my time during the weekends. Just not sure what to do with myself! Frustrating . . .

Editing to say that I just emailed the Humane Society to say I was interested in volunteering. I just love dogs, and that would give me something to do on the weekends [hopefully I could get a weekend shift(s)].

[eggplantlife]

So much pain. Would like it to stop!!! Crying !

[Smileonmyface]

Trying to be positive this weekend going out with husband later and a free ball game tomorrow. Funny he is sitting next to me and asked what is my favorite color and I replied black maybe navy blue and dark purple like eggplant too. We laughed. He gets me

[Butternut]

It's amazing that your moods can be so empowering one day and the next you want to squeeze something from anger!!

[Butternut]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

i'm meh. just PMSing and waiting patiently for it to be over.

I'm with you dear.

[aprillynn197]

I feel so low lately. Just ugly and useless. Scared and on edge all the time. I don't want to be here in this place anymore. Loneliness is misery. I want friends and people I have not hurt to care about me. Care if I live or die or get cancer. I have kids who truly care which I'm grateful for. My boyfriends says he cares but I hurt him so he will never care the way I need him to. I'm so sad all the time. I can't do this much longer.

[waterknob1234]

I am so extremely tired I can barely function anymore. Yesterday we had way too much stuff to do at work as usual. We were fussed at by the doctors as usual. Doing your personal best work is never good enough. I got a phone call from a Human resources person at a job I applied for. She said she would forward my info. to her senior manager and see if he can call me in for an interview.

I am hoping and praying to get this job. I have to get out of this toxic office I'm in before it kills me. One of the nurses had to go home early yesterday due to chest pain, which is probably from the stress.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by eggplantlife

I was going to start a new thread but this might be best here. Almost all the thread TITLES I could have written. I think I am going crazy. I'll leave it at that...but please someone take me out of here! It's not the people. It's not the environment. It's me. Don't like it here. Places I like threw me away.

Hang in there eggplantlife. I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes I feel like people threw me away. You are a good person.

[Angelique67]

I can't beat this low level depression. I just can't get out of bed before noon or take care of myself. What will it take to get me out of this?

[TheOriginalMe]

I'm still anxious, I keep worrying about my job. I get hurt and emotional when I think of it all, it is too overwhelming to deal with.

[puzzclar]

I'm anxious. ... and I have to work. This will be fun

[lizzyjb]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

I'm still anxious, I keep worrying about my job. I get hurt and emotional when I think of it all, it is too overwhelming to deal with.

I feel the same.

[aprillynn197]

I'm done with everything

[aprillynn197]

I can't survive on my own so what's the point

[JustTvTroping]

I feel horrible right now. Even years later, after everything that happened and passed, for some reason I keep remembering why I

Possible trigger:

regret being born and hate myself for finding more reasons to stay alive.

I really wish that I could give up on everything.

Again, I didn't shower today.

Possible trigger:

Again, I still don't want to live.

Today's been pretty mellow for me. It was bright and sunny and I actually got out for a walk with my niece dog. Didn't sleep well last night though, even with the little blue pill. Hope tonight is better.

[LittleEarthquakes]

Possible trigger:

I'm not going to try anymore. It can have me.

Originally Posted by LittleEarthquakes

Possible trigger:

I'm not going to try anymore. It can have me.

[tigerlily84]

I didn't manage to get dressed today, but that's okay. One of my family members got angry with me because I said I would go somewhere and I kept them waiting. I didn't mean to... I just didn't have the energy to go out into the world. On the other hand, I did file my taxes, so that's good at least. Yes, I know, I wait until the last minute. Now I will have to file my mom's taxes for her, and who knows if she has all of her paperwork.

[artichack]

Bandage off tomorrow....can finally shower....slept for the first time in 5 days.....woke up to 3 new inches of spring snow....yuk.....been cooped up like a pigeon....did a visit to PA cause my eye was swollen so as not allowing me to put my contact in....better now...sorry bought the bit_ _ing.....hope you all are doing better.....Artie