Feeling just okay today. In case my headache/migraine has turned into a rebound headache (where use of pain medication actually perpetuates the headache), I'm going to try going without pain meds today to see if it'll go away.

Other than that, going jogging with Douzey soon, not sure what else today. Am happy because my husband said he'd pay for more horse riding lessons for me since I enjoy it so much, so I'll go every week now instead of every other week.

Also was tipped off to a sailing club about 10 miles from my house that will take people to crew races no matter what level of expertise you're at. They have weekend races, and that's exactly the time I'm looking to fill.

I just have to edit this to say I was feeling so-so when I woke up, but after jogging my mood has definitely improved! It's amazing how a little bit of aerobic exercise can help depression!

Got better sleep last night. Still feeling tired tho... heard from an old friend who's been in Dubai for years. Supposed to be another nice sunny day. But I'm not looking forward to going home and seeing my ex.

[herethennow]

Possible trigger:

woke up feeling i shouldn't exist. because existing means reliving this pain over and over again.

[lizzyjb]

Anxiety is growing up because tomorrow I have to go to work. I don't know why they make me feel stupid and why they make me feel like I am not able of doing anything right.

Family came today. I always feel so sad when they leave.

[hope2010]

I wish to be "normal" whatever that really mean, just feel normal, life is already hard for anyone, but with depression I am never sure about anything. I can't live my house without a previous panic attacks, anxiety, nausea, all is in my mind, but what different that is make for me, for the pain, what am suppose to do with this terrible emotional pain.

[lizzyjb]

I think I really wish to feel normal, not being normal, because I am pretty sure I am absolutely normal. But I don't feel like a normal person. I am always thinking that I am in the wrong place or wrong moment. So it would be great to feel as a normal person.
And it will be great enjoy life, no crying or feeling anxious...

feeling calm.

[waterknob1234]

I am so tired and exhausted. I just don't want to go to work tomorrow. This exhaustion is terrible.

[Turtlesoup]

Sorry haven't been on here in a couple of days it's taking such huge amounts of effort to do anything. I am pushing myself hard to do things but wow it's is so draining-I do feel a bit better though so at least it's not worse. My session with my T was so intense the other day-still haven't wrapped my mind around it all-bleh. I know this will not last & I will feel better (she says trying to convince self) Hope all here that are feeling down can find something to make them feel even a little bit better. We are brave battling this @$%&!! depression-positive thoughts & heartfelt hugs to all

[Apathy123]

I slept until 2:30 PM today after having dinner with friends last night. I don't want to go to work tomorrow but I have to and pretend everything is alright even though it's not.

[TheOriginalMe]

Not feeling well, physically or emotionally. My anxiety has really kicked in the past few days. It is hardly surprizing really as I'm still waiting on the official letter giving me 3 months notice from my job. I've also "created" a scenario where my T will drop me at our next session. I don't have any reason to believe this, other than my last T dropped me at this stage. I can't shake the feeling that it will happen and it seems like I'm watching the situation play out again and again and again. There's other stuff that I don't want to write about too.

[Smileonmyface]

Went to ballgame with husband and kids today. We were in direct sunlight was super anxious about little one getting sunburned did everything to cover her head when she wouldn't wear her hat.I'm sure I looked like crazy mom. All in all good day. Sunshine fresh air ice cream baseball. Also had a call from a good friend I miss seeing very much. Very tired now. Hope kids fall asleep fast and I get to watch tv for a bit

[unhappydaze]

Exhausted and discouraged, like waterknob, Turtle, OriginalMe, a hundred others here. Over the last couple weeks I've had to force myself out of bed at 2:00 or 3:00PM.

[color14u]

Originally Posted by lizzyjb

I think I really wish to feel normal, not being normal, because I am pretty sure I am absolutely normal. But I don't feel like a normal person. I am always thinking that I am in the wrong place or wrong moment. So it would be great to feel as a normal person.
And it will be great enjoy life, no crying or feeling anxious...

I have always thought I was born in the wrong time. Maybe that is way I can't feel normal...some kind of a karma thing. In th past life I must have a SOB. I think in my earlier life I did some petty questionable. I just hope i didn't hurt anyon that badly. There are a few years that are still pretty fuzzy.

I had a fairly good wknd for a change. Thanks mainly to my sister and our kids. Forced me to not be isolated. Be outside. It did me a lot of good. I'm thankful for the wknd. Feel like I have some strength.

So lonely. It won't go away until I'm loved. And no, loving myself will not work. That's just a saying to make people feel better about not being able to find love from others. So it looks like I'll be stuck with this for a very, very long time.

[Rose76]

Stuck in inertia of non-movement. Becoming so lazy.

[unhappydaze]

My wife's best buddy at work lost her battle with stage 4 breast cancer this afternoon. One of the most positive, upbeat people ever. I know there is no why. But why?

[Symbolic]

Had a very productive day, and crossed more things off of my "to-do" list that were causing me stress a few weeks ago. Sucking it up and getting started on it felt good, but actually finishing feels great. It makes me wonder why I didn't just get right to it in the first place, instead of hesitating for weeks, and feeling guilty about it.

[Billtrick]

I am so tired. I started taking lithium, and am titrating off of Seroquel. I am having difficulty speaking, writing, reading. Really any basic cognitive task is challenging. It is becoming more clear that I am really a useless creature, and no I am not even useful to my family. I know I have more to say, but my mind is empty. I don't think I am having a good reaction to the medication. Eh, oh well maybe it will give me an excuse for entering oblivion.

I feel so anxious and I don't even know what about. being in this building is making me want to go back to my depressive state, but I cant go back to that. I won't.

[imogenheap]

hey y'all. i'm new here on this forum, registered just now and seeing this as an option to stay in recovery and keep choosing recovery. i'll wash my face, get dressed, and leave the house in the next hour hopefully.

[SeekerOfLife]

Originally Posted by Annaflower

I feel so anxious and I don't even know what about. being in this building is making me want to go back to my depressive state, but I cant go back to that. I won't.

Anna, I often have anxiety and do not know where it comes from. I can be feeling good, and it seemingly hits for no reason. And for me anxiety and depression occur together.

[Babymonster]

I got my feelings hurt, which hasn't happened in I can't remember how long. I've always just delt with it with internal ranty anger/frustration or a don't care/block it all out attitude. So I haven't actually felt like this in a while. It sucks, but I wonder if it's an improvement over pure flat depression, which is where I usually sit.

I'm annoyed that it happened before my first day of treatment because I have other things to worry about today and now this is distracting me. I was so excited to go and now I feel blah.

Miss my computer it has a virus and i don't have money to fix it so using my phone. Very depressed and because I've been so unmotivated my back is really hurting. Staying active before had helped. Been ignoring diabetes and eating way too much and sugary high calorie food. I seem to not care anymore i feel useless anyways.