Cold still lingers. Mood is so-so. Being sick in bed is a bit of a vacation from the pressure of staying active but not really wanting to do anything so feeling guilty and aware of my depression.

[eggplantlife]

Still feeling okay...good. Well, better than being depressed. Yesterday after sleeping during daytime (as i had work real early in the morning), i woke up feeling very lonely. I don 't know what caused it. I decided not to get too into it and just go through the feeling. I was fortunate to have people around me. Before even though there was people, i still felt it. This time, the feeling went away. I did feel weak from it and i did sleep more.
But the feeling went away and i didn't desperately try to cling onto to people or reach out. Having this one person who i trusted telling me that my writing to her brothers her really got me sad. So i make great effort not to contact her...or even others now. It's okay i guess.

[SeekerOfLife]

Will I get well? Some days I am full of hope. This past weekend was very hard on me.

[magical loser]

i think my meds might be starting to work now! i dont really feel depressed. i still feel tired and crappy most of the time but not so much. today i managed to get up at 9 and went across to the shop to get fruit + vegetables and i've had some of them. going to do a detox tomorrow (only eating fruit + veg) and hoping that helps a bit, last time i did feel better the next morning and my skin wasnt so greasy

now i know 9 is still late to everyone else but its good for me and its a huge improvement because i had been getting up around 2-5pm and it made me really angry because i KNEW i had to do things but didnt have the energy to get up and do it

so yep its an improvement and i hope it continues

[aprillynn197]

In so Much pain don't know how to get out of it. I hate my life I'm so lonely and miserable. Therapy n meds do nothing for me. I'll never ever get better.

[jgmk55]

I originally came to this site because of my grandson and his intense needs emotional/behavioral needs. He has mellowed a bit since he began taking medication, but still is combative at school and with his younger sister and cousins (they all live with my husband and I). I have an adult daughter who is struggling with depression and beginning a very intense and angry divorce. She is afraid to take medication believing he will use it against her to gain custody of the kids. She is a great mom and he is not such a great dad. She is trying so hard and I worry about her so much. I have been taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications for years. I feel so much better and am willing to take them forever. I just feel sad about my grandson and daughter (she is not his mother). I don't feel depressed, just sad and overwhelmed. I don't know how to help. Anyhow. I just wanted to check in.

[angelene]

Attended a funeral Saturday. I was nervous about going because it would be a crowd of people. I did my best to act like a normal person while at the funeral home.
Though it was sad, I had a good time at the gathering afterward. Saw a lot of people I haven't seen in ages. Drank a large glass of wine in honor of the deceased. But I ended up leaving early because my batteries were running out. I wish I could've stayed longer. Sometimes I forget that being around other humans doesn't always have to be awful.

[Nammu]

I messed up my meds on Saturday morn, so now I'm feeling the hangover of going a night without sleep(Saturday night). I don't know why but the morning after I finally sleep I have a huge hangover affect. Horrible headache, feeling like a 99 yr old body and tired, so tired. This time my lips are peeling on top of all that, really? A whole layer of skin just peeled off? Seems the older I get the less I can handle a sleepless night.

But mentally I'm fine. Level. Not hunky dory but doing ok.

Spring cleaning today. We have a home inspection on Wednesday, so Mom and I got started on what needs to be done. I have my room taken care of. It wasn't hard. I guess I'm relieved. My room has needed to be cleaned for a long time and now it's done. I just feel pathetic that it takes an upcoming inspection to push me to do it.

[color14u]

I didn't get to talk to my GP about my depression. I drove myself there, but my husband showed up anyway. I am now wearing a heart monitor for the next 24 hours. I have had bouts of light-headedness and a racing heart. I'm back to not being allowed to drive until they figure out why. I haven't had an appetite for almost two weeks. I even tried to make a lasagne (needed help with too many things...sigh) The Doc didn't think it was a med side effect. I feel so stupid...why can't I just open my mouth and speak? I'm screaming on the inside, but nothing is coming out.

[TheOriginalMe]

Tired and stuck. I feel as though I'm trapped in a loop, where the same old problems keep coming around and around. This is how it is going to be, I should just get used to it, I never do though.

[hopeless2015]

Feel like I'm coming down with a cold, not a good time for this

[dandylin]

Have a naggy little cold. Husband is going to start back to work this week. Half days, I'll be alone and back to job hunting.

[Rose76]

I'm continuing to do quite well. My plan is to try and develop better habits while I am in a good state of mind. Then, when I have a tailspin, the habits might keep me on track, so that everything doesn't get chaotic, which makes me way worse.

I'm trying to be more scrupulous about picking up after myself, as I go through the day . . . like doing the dishes after each meal, and straightening out any area of the house that starts to get messy looking. I notice that just keeping things orderly is going a long way toward making me be able to keep my good spirits going.

Also, I am taking Amitriptyline 75 mg each eve. (Was on 50 mg for a long time.) That's helping too, but it causes my gut to slow down, which has me feeling queasy at times.

I have to find somewhere to go for physical exercise. I believe that is the main thing missing.

My cold has gotten worse. So I guess it's more rest for me today, interspersed with job hunting online. Mood-wise I guess I'm okay.

ive been having panic attacks all day because the unit have not yet confirmed whether i'm going back for my last 2 days on weds or thurs. im so anxious and low and UGH

Possible trigger:

I want to die, but I don't want to die.

It's complicated.

[Turtlesoup]

Haven't been on here in a few days-guess my brain has gotten used to my med dose so I've been swinging from irritable to horribly depressed & then 2 days of manic madness where I absolutely made a huge mess pulling everything out of the closet & out of drawers & under the bed in a massive cleaning/reorganizing OMG will someone stop me spree-now I'm drained, overwhelmed & have flared up my pain issues pretty badly-also tdoc is out of town this week-I was supposed to be planning my week of "staycation" to care & nurture myself. Oh & we have all kinds of family shite that has hit a huge fan. Wonder what tomorrow will bring-yikes sorry for the rant. Bleh hate this-stupid unbalanced brain chemicals.

[TheOriginalMe]

Still stuck, I am so tired of all of this.

[color14u]

I think I'm really losing it... I'm starting to have Walter Mitty-esque fantasies going on in my head. When things aren't going well, I've started retreating within the bizarre world of imagination. It's not like I don't know it's happening.

[Rose76]

I'm doing pretty well, except for real slow starts in the morning.

[herethennow]

had a rough T session ystd. shouldn't have brought it up.

been having spurts of crying lately and i don't know whether thats good.

Possible trigger:

just want to be rid of this pain. just want to disappear from the surface of this earth. my brain is telling me i should - and i'm realising that my thoughts are now active rather than passive. i don't know whether i should start being worried. maybe i'll just si my way through... *sigh*

best of all? pdoc's appt is far far away and i cannot be bothered to pick up the phone to arrange for an earlier appt. he's not going to understand, anyway.

[dandylin]

Originally Posted by color14u

I think I'm really losing it... I'm starting to have Walter Mitty-esque fantasies going on in my head. When things aren't going well, I've started retreating within the bizarre world of imagination. It's not like I don't know it's happening.

I live a great deal of the day in my head. I have imagined a perfect world, with a perfect man who knows what to say...always and who always rescues me and keeps me safe. No safety out here, gotta go where you feel it.

[Dante744]

Still haven't been motivated to do any school work at all and I've just been reading books and writing. Also found out that a longtime family friend has cancer which was devastating news for me and before that I was feeling dizzy and light headed all day which made me feel irritable.

[jgmk55]

Feeling really, really stressed today. My grandson (depression, ADHD and possible conduct disorder) seems to be moving into a better place (emotionally). He even wore an orange shirt today instead of a filthy black one that is his norm. He stole $5 but when we asked him about it he returned it - although he insisted he hadn't taken it. Still, it is a more positive step. My granddaughter's morning (ODD, ADHD, conduct disorder) was somewhat better, but she has been horrible at school. Not looking forward to this afternoon. My daughter (clinically depressed and not their mother) has decided to go back to school and get her certification in phlebotomy. I am so proud of her. She is still extremely depressed, but this is a positive move. I have seven projects due on Friday morning and have not started any of them. I feel paralyzed. Oh well. Back to work.