Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Apr 04, 2016, 08:36 PM
lelouch1205 lelouch1205 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 19
Lately nothing seems to be going right for me. I lost my job recently, have had to accept that I need help for my anger problems/occasional self-harm (hitting myself), I'm out of college so I don't feel like I'm working toward a serious goal anymore, and my friends just seem to have become more distant. I just really don't feel like I have much of a reason to look forward to any day and even if I have something fun planned for the day I feel like I don't deserve it because I'm not being productive enough. I almost feel like if I could up and leave where I am now that it would be like leaving behind nothing and that no one would honestly care that much. I don't know I just can't take much more of this. I've been starting to get help for my issues and I'm job searching every day, but who knows how long it's gonna be until I'm better and employed again. And I don't know if my friends don't like me as much anymore or if I annoy them or something, but it's really been bothering me because I don't know if I feel I can count on many of them anymore for support. Does anyone else feel really low like this? I know I can't be the only one.
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, Marla500, x123

advertisement
  #2  
Old Apr 04, 2016, 10:18 PM
x123's Avatar
x123 x123 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 738
Yeah, I feel that way sort of. I didn't have a job for a few months, and I spent all that time at home. The highlight of my day would be if one of my two friends wanted to do something after they finished work, but it seemed like they were often busy with other things. I tried not to be annoying by expecting to much support from my friends.

Are you taking medicine or getting some kind of help? You are certain to improve if you will keep trying. It sounds like you are young, so that will help too. Good luck.
Hugs from:
Marla500
  #3  
Old Apr 04, 2016, 10:50 PM
lelouch1205 lelouch1205 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by x123 View Post
Yeah, I feel that way sort of. I didn't have a job for a few months, and I spent all that time at home. The highlight of my day would be if one of my two friends wanted to do something after they finished work, but it seemed like they were often busy with other things. I tried not to be annoying by expecting to much support from my friends.

Are you taking medicine or getting some kind of help? You are certain to improve if you will keep trying. It sounds like you are young, so that will help too. Good luck.
I'm not taking any medicine, but I've been talking to my old youth pastor recently every week about my issues. I haven't gotten any professional help yet, but I may still do it. I want to see what comes out of talking to my youth pastor first though because I think it's been helping. And yes I am 24 recently having graduated college. I got fired from my first real job because of my issues. They didn't work with me on anything and never gave me any indication that anything was wrong, but after talking around I found out that was most likely the reason why I was let go. I just hope I can find some kind of purpose and be productive again. But also I just feel like I meet so many people and very few of them stay in my life for a long time and can be considered real friends. So many thoughts just eat away at me and it's hard to deal with them all.
Hugs from:
Marla500, x123
  #4  
Old Apr 04, 2016, 10:56 PM
emijec emijec is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 226
I think that with everything that is going on in life, ****** economy, the value of a college degree declining, "friends" just focused on looking like a friend on Facebook or Instagram and not actually be a true friend, unemployment for your generation (20s?) ... all that combined, how can you feel good?

I'm 34, regular debt, college and poat grad debt, earning the same I did when I was 21, no kids, dumped. feel ****** too.

I was out of a job for 3 months and I can completely relate to how you feel.. like am I useful ? what am I worth if I keep getting rejected or overlooked for a job? there's no motivation. it's ok to feel not that great, I mean look at your hardships.

you need to do those fun things it's what will keep you sane, and you are deserving of that.. to be happy even for a moment. if you need a break from job searching and you can take it, give yourself a few days. editing your resume for every job you apply, answering supplemental questions, figuring out if you're willing to take less bc of no call backs... all that crap takes its to. you'll drive yourself crazy if you don't take a break.
Hugs from:
x123
Thanks for this!
Marla500
  #5  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 07:14 AM
x123's Avatar
x123 x123 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 738
I have found that posting on forums is a little bit like therapy. The fact that forums are free and anonymous makes them superior to therapy in some ways. I post my issues and people sometimes reply with insights from their lives. It has helped me a lot. The youth pastor is good too of course. Professional help can get expensive if your insurance doesn't cover enough, so taking advantage of everything else like pastors and forums is smart.
  #6  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 11:29 AM
lelouch1205 lelouch1205 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by emijec View Post
I think that with everything that is going on in life, ****** economy, the value of a college degree declining, "friends" just focused on looking like a friend on Facebook or Instagram and not actually be a true friend, unemployment for your generation (20s?) ... all that combined, how can you feel good?

I'm 34, regular debt, college and poat grad debt, earning the same I did when I was 21, no kids, dumped. feel ****** too.

I was out of a job for 3 months and I can completely relate to how you feel.. like am I useful ? what am I worth if I keep getting rejected or overlooked for a job? there's no motivation. it's ok to feel not that great, I mean look at your hardships.

you need to do those fun things it's what will keep you sane, and you are deserving of that.. to be happy even for a moment. if you need a break from job searching and you can take it, give yourself a few days. editing your resume for every job you apply, answering supplemental questions, figuring out if you're willing to take less bc of no call backs... all that crap takes its to. you'll drive yourself crazy if you don't take a break.
Making money in the US really is not as easy as people from other countries might think. You work so hard and spend so much money on education just to make a little more and still struggle to find jobs. And the problem is that employers don't care about you at all. Instead of firing someone who's fresh out of college and is clearly feeling a little overwhelmed by certain things why not try to encourage him? I know I wasn't doing a bad job and I feel I wasn't given a fair chance at my first job in my field. People are so insensitive to everything in this country and it's just ridiculous. And hearing the same bs all the time like "oh it will be fine" or "just stop doing that" is almost baffling. Like yeah I definitely choose to just hurt myself and get angry at the drop of a hat. If you don't struggle with issues like that you don't understand and people just don't understand the fact that they don't understand (if that makes sense). But yeah I really do feel useless as of late and people aren't making me feel any better. My friends ignore half my texts or calls anymore, break off into separate groups and don't include me in hardly anything, etc. It really sucks. I'm trying to think of anything positive, but it's honestly getting harder and harder.
  #7  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 11:36 AM
x123's Avatar
x123 x123 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 738
@lelouch1205 , my therapist told me about a book by Aldo Pucci, and I bought it on Amazon. It's a workbook for cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT is supposed to help people with anger problems.
  #8  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 02:21 PM
lelouch1205 lelouch1205 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by x123 View Post
@lelouch1205 , my therapist told me about a book by Aldo Pucci, and I bought it on Amazon. It's a workbook for cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT is supposed to help people with anger problems.
Is it the one that the title starts with "The client's guide to CBT?" From your experience is it actually good and worth getting and what's kind of the gist of what the book aims to do for you? I mean I'm not much of a reader, but I would still try it if I think it will help.
  #9  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 04:02 PM
x123's Avatar
x123 x123 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 738
Quote:
Originally Posted by lelouch1205 View Post
Is it the one that the title starts with "The client's guide to CBT?" From your experience is it actually good and worth getting and what's kind of the gist of what the book aims to do for you? I mean I'm not much of a reader, but I would still try it if I think it will help.
Yes, that's the book. The book is easy to read and seems to have some good ideas. At first, I thought that it was a lot of fluffy B.S., but then I began to see that some of it made sense. I want to read it again to see if I get more a second time. The main thing I took is that the words we use to describe things in our heads create visual images that can condition an emotional response over time. Pucci gave the example of a wife who always described her husband as a "dirty rat" and she gradually began to react to him as if he really was a big, smelly, disgusting rodent. It's important to observe the words we think in situations and make sure that they are accurate, because parts of our brain and body take our words literally - even when we are simply exaggerating. I have problems getting along with my brother, and I find myself cringing and becoming irritated and angry every time I see his face. In my case, I had continually told myself that the reason I am working in our family business is to help my brother. I have felt very bitter about this duty to family, and gradually I conditioned myself so that my brother's face became a symbol of that duty. That is why seeing my brother makes me upset. It helps to know why I feel these emotions, but it is still hard to correct.
  #10  
Old Apr 05, 2016, 04:13 PM
lelouch1205 lelouch1205 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2016
Location: United States
Posts: 19
Quote:
Originally Posted by x123 View Post
Yes, that's the book. The book is easy to read and seems to have some good ideas. At first, I thought that it was a lot of fluffy B.S., but then I began to see that some of it made sense. I want to read it again to see if I get more a second time. The main thing I took is that the words we use to describe things in our heads create visual images that can condition an emotional response over time. Pucci gave the example of a wife who always described her husband as a "dirty rat" and she gradually began to react to him as if he really was a big, smelly, disgusting rodent. It's important to observe the words we think in situations and make sure that they are accurate, because parts of our brain and body take our words literally - even when we are simply exaggerating. I have problems getting along with my brother, and I find myself cringing and becoming irritated and angry every time I see his face. In my case, I had continually told myself that the reason I am working in our family business is to help my brother. I have felt very bitter about this duty to family, and gradually I conditioned myself so that my brother's face became a symbol of that duty. That is why seeing my brother makes me upset. It helps to know why I feel these emotions, but it is still hard to correct.
Maybe I'll consider buying it then. My anger problems and other issues have just messed up too much for me in the past and hurt me on a daily basis too
Hugs from:
x123
Reply
Views: 630

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:47 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.