confessions of little turtle

My T called me sensitive. I was very upset. I don't like being judged like that either

It's not judgement it's either a fact or its fiction, your Therapist is making an observation, it up to you what you with that, if you don't like her observing and giving feedback on what she sees , why are you wasting money on therapy ?
Go take a vacation with the money you would be paying her ?
Because you either want her to do or her job, or ??..

No offense intended, nothing wrong with being sensitive,I am as well
Generally time spent with good therapists is money well spent ,and I doubt she ment harm but judging by your reaction , it's an issue you need help with, funny is that not what therapy is for ?.

No judgements here just observations

Misterpain

brazenapogee....you were very upset....are you able to talk with your t about that.....

yes, he is getting better at understanding me, which is nice. I'm glad you understand little turtle

it was so good to have doctor== patient relationships where you trusted each other...
and there was kindness...working together..

The doctor patient relationship is disappearing, with the doctor having a relationship with what's on the screen of his electronic medical record ,the patient just happens to be in the room.ditch the computer and it's electronic prescription pad and have real dialogue with the patient .give the patients your time and a reason to respect and trust your skill instead of them seeing your for head peeking out over the top of the computer monitor.

Nothing says therapeutic relationship like the HP logo!

Misterpain

i do not like all the $$$$$$$$$$$$$ being made off of our suffering...
we need to form our own groups to help each other recover from depression...

I would like to eliminate doctors and therapists and drug companies and insurance companies and government
from our care....that sounds crazy little turtle....well I have a crazy side

I am so sad what has happened to my profession over the last 50 years...
psychiatry with its dsm and its drugs and 15 minute appointments is not leading to better mental health...

I completely agree

the biggest problem I have at 85 is forgiving myself....no one can do this for me...I am alone on this one...

thank you everyone....thank you...thank you

I am torn about being retired...I want to help so much...but I cant anymore...
being a psychiatrist today is awful...the system is awful...many times the drugs just cover up what is really going on...reality is not faced...I did not face reality...I broke down and took anti-depressants...it helped but it hurt me...because I never really faced what was going on in my life....it is so hard to face reality...I wanted to die then...now I want to live..

i am done with psychiatry...done...done...it is awful...please everyone be very careful about any treatment out there...make sure it is really helping...love to you all..

i was really one-f????? up psychiatrist...but i did help some of my patients who were my friends..i was kind...and i tried to do both meds and talk...but in the clinics they made it almost impossible..

Little Turtle, I know you helped some people when you were a psychiatrist but you are only human and were faced with the need to follow the rules (guidelines at work).

I still take an anti-depressant (but I am only taking 1/2 of what was prescribed) because without it, I couldn't get out of bed and I would be totally sad absolutely all of the time. Perhaps I am now hooked on it but it is also possible that things might have been even worse for me (and you?), if we hadn't starting taking them.

As far as facing what is going on in our lives--you know I understand how hard it is and can totally relate to feeling guilty about not facing what was and is going on in my life. Regardless of our dilemma (def: a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made), we are both good people. What we were facing had no easy answers. For instance, you probably couldn't just quit your job and start your own practice because you likely wanted to earn enough money to support your family.

You are right, you are faced with learning to forgive yourself. I think that you are kind, patient, caring, aware and sorry for even the smallest mistakes in your life. If there is a God and he is merciful, I would think that he would forgive sinners like you. Why? You want to tell the truth. You are humble. You help people all the time and feel bad whenever you hurt others (sometimes you blame yourself to much). Please know that I look up to you and value your friendship. We can't live forever but you have touched and encouraged me. It is obvious to me that countless others feel that way. I wish I could give you a real hug!

we are not bad persons...
we have done bad things...[maybe]
I am not a bad person...I have done bad things....
I am seeing a lot of us thinking we are bad persons...
I am in the process of forgiveness...forgiving myself
I am not a bad person...

I want to say something about the drugs that I took over the last 50 years...
I think they helped...but the side effects were a problem for me..
I believed that my depression disorder was going to be a lifetime problem..
i am not so sure now even though i had 3 breakdowns...
drugs can be helpful but it depends on your own depression...
there were a lot of things i had to do in order to manage my emotional ststes...besides drugs....i survived and now I DO NOT WANT TO KILL MYSELF...i want to live..
but when i was young i sure wanted to leave this life and never return...
and i don't believe in a heaven...

Hi Little Turtle, sorry you are having a rough time lately. I hope you come here often and share you feelings and insight into your profession

thanks shazerac---------I wanted so much to be a good psychiatrist...
I wanted to be happy helping people....but I found that mental illness is
so hard for people to cope with....and most of the treatments are so crude....
I tried hard but I broke down trying...now I can be honest about myself and others....I FEEL SO SORRY FOR EVERYONE SUFFERING FROM A MENTAL ILLNESS...it is so hard....not much is known...but there are still some people that are kind and patient and accepting of others....and some of those people are right here on this depression forum....

I am interested in the truth....not lies....about myself and others................
I follow LOVE.....love is patient......love is kind.........

Dear little turtle,
I read in another forum about somebody seeing a psychiatrist for 30 plus years with no help :
( Sadly I know this is not uncommon if the pdoc doesn't care or want to help It makes me so sad, this world is so ****ed up

I wish more in the "profession" (IRL) followed love

fuzzy----you are right on...we could start a TRUE LOVE group...
fuzzy I don't think people understand what depression is...

fuzzy bear----why are so many GOOD people killing themselves....I am a psychiatrist but I really dont understand this....

I don't understand it either, but it's partly because of people being treated poorly by mental health/medical professionals - who treat them as "less than" the "professional". (And using harsh "clinical" words which aren't even "accurate" half the time..) If all medical professionals treated their patients with love and respect this would be less likely to happen... good people killing themselves

Also if all parents treated their children with love and respect

it seems that there is no help if you are in that place, i have been there