confessions of little turtle

me too

I just feel like crying....I am now looking at the website MAD IN AMERICA...what are we to do...we need to be loved for who we are...and we need to love

I am really proud that I am a medical doctor....
I am really proud that I am a psychiatrist...
but I am disgusted and mad about the way psychiatry is today...
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and business has taken over...
I just feel beaten down and wanting to cry for all the suffering...
I am depressed...I have a serious depression problem...
but I am not being helped by my drugs or by my psychiatrist..
I need help...I need to be with others in the same mess...

big money psychiatry is no longer interested in searching for the truth...

I cant believe how I accepted the chemical imbalance theory for depression...
I believed it...I took my antidepressant for over 40 years....I tried many times to get off
my antidepressant...I couldn't do it...it is hard to give this up ...the theory and the drug...

I feel like a dummy ...I am looking at the research about anti-depressants and I am very disturbed....I don't like what I am learning...I am listening to Robert whitaker and I am reading the stuff on the mad in America website....I cant believe what I did and what I believed....

Little Turtle-
It is a very confusing topic. On the one hand, when I was first prescribed an anti-depressant--it did make me feel less suicidal. On the other hand, after stopping for about 20 days, I was extremely paranoid, delusional and went through with what I was afraid to do before. More recently, I had severe headaches, dizziness and nausea when I tried to quit. I haven't been depressed in a while. When I go to my psych--I am going to ask for the lowest dose (75mg) verses the 150mg per day bupropion dose I am now on. I am even going to talk to my husband about it (that I am more freely talking to him IS a miracle). I am lucky. I feel like I figured a lot out through self reflection but I hope I am not addicted to my anti-depressant for life......

Me too ....

we need to talk more about what is going on in our brains...I need to...I don't want to shut up...I am very disturbed about what psychiatry is doing to us...I think they are hurting more than helping....some are helping...but most are hurting us...that is what is going on in my brain...I don't like thinking that some of what I did hurt people...it was what I was told was right...it was wrong...it was WRONG...

I did what the standard of practice called for...but it damaged some people....I will never be able to forget some of the persons I treated wrongly...with drugs...I did wrong...I didn't know any better..

I am no longer going to be talking about the psych drugs being good...they are good and bad....I think they are MOSTLY BAD for most people...we need something better...like nurturing people in a safe place and talking about what is bothering them...and keep the drug reps out of the clinics...

some people were hurt because of my ignorance...and I was one of the good guys....I spent a lot of time with my patients...and the bosses were not happy with me

i just want to be loved... and I want to love others [for who we are]....

I cant believe my ignorance of psychology...my not knowing about a lot of things..
and I thought I knew so much...I was flying high but I came down ...way down..
but I survived....and I had some good times between my breakdowns...I feel very dumb right now...

I am sorry...I am sorry....
for the hurt that I caused my patients..
I did not know....I did not do...
what a responsibility...
I am sorry for anything bad I have said here..
let me know if I am hurting anyone here..
I did some good....
I was never rich or famous

(((((((( little turtle ))))))))

I am a hypochondriac...
I am always worrying about going into a deep depression
I am always worrying about having a tumor that is cancerous
I am very very afraid of dying

hey... I have been talking a lot about the problems with psych meds...
for me they have been bad and good....
I still take celexa 5 mg every am....
and every so often I will take 5 mg of valium..
so I take psych meds..now
but it is not just good here...there is bad also...
I no longer can believe in any chemical imbalance theory..
I don't think most psychiatrists believe that anymore..
but what is the problem here..

I have done some bad things...I think they are bad...I have guilt about those behaviors..
BUT THAT IS NOT ME...I am a pretty nice guy...sensitive...shy...

i no longer can trust present day psychiatry...
it has gone downhill....and it is still going down...
too much money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ is being made
helping us with these awful problems..

i am very disturbed about the side effects of psych meds..
i am very worried about the black box warning for ssri antidepressants..
and i am very worried for my friends who are taking abilify when they are not psychotic..
i am still trying to help my friends but i am so frustrated and angry..it worsens my depression......

please help me out fuzzy and rohag...

i do feel good about something...
i refused to see drug reps....i didn't like what they were doing..
and i never caved into the pressure from above to see patients EVERY 15 MINUTES...
but i was just a lower rung depressed psychiatrist...

I'm worried about the standard advice of "medication" especially when decent therapy would help more ..

Also it surprises me that intelligent (?) (book learning)..individuals (doctors) can (at times!)
fail to recognise the fact that "patients" are more likely to be "compliant" if treated with dignity and respect ..

Or rather, it used to surprise me

I was prescribed seroquel. I am not psychotic

A life time on "medication" can do serious harm

Perhaps if more doctors had time or desire to listen to their patients, fewer people would be lumped into "medication for life"

Not that good therapy is easy to find here anyway

thanks fuzzy

Me too.

I've been on psych meds long enough (~20 years) that I can no longer tease apart
the effects of the meds,
side effects of the meds, and
the effects of the conditions for which the meds are prescribed.

For me, meds possibly provide minor relief from depression (the antidepressants) and moderate-to-substantive relief from anxiety (the mood stabilizers). They have always been palliative and never curative.

I cannot tell if my conditions destroyed my career, the meds, the combination of conditions and meds, my personality, or the confluence of everything.

I am left wondering how my life would have been had I never sought help.

thanks rohag

"I am left wondering how my life would have been had I never sought help"

Me too

I used to think psychiatry was very important....
I wanted to be a psychiatrist...I could really help out..
I thought psychiatry would integrate psychology/neurology/sociology..
but I found only a focus on psych drugs...
maybe psychiatry should be removed from medical school..
I never thought I would think that...
the higher ups are mainly thinking about business and power and money..
I am feeling very sad today about what has happened to my dreams...
I just wanted to help out and relieve suffering...
I just broke down trying...