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#76
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Kind of neutral ATM
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![]() mulan
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#77
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Feeling vague today. I have to call my neighbor at some point soon about my hair and it's stressing me out. There isn't room in here to fit the shower chair in front of the kitchen sink. I'm not sure if there's any room at all for a chair in front of the bathroom sink. I will need to see if he can do it in his kitchen sink. Why am I so stressed out about a good thing?
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![]() mulan
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#78
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Been feeling a little bit sad since yesterday. While we're talking my father told me he would hit me again as he did when I was a child if the same circumstances happened because I deserved it, I needed to be disciplined and I was very stubborn.
Now I find it hard to look at me like a normal person and somehow I feel like I am intrinsically mean, that I was bad and maybe even worse than the other kids. I had come to terms on the concept of who I was and how I am nothing less than other people. But after that I can't shake the inferiority thoughts. And feel flawed and unloved. Just unbarried some little child feelings. I use to use imagination to put my self on a happy place whenever I felt like this as a kid. It proved itself to be uneffective and capable of bringing some confusion with other people, totally unfit. Singing can make me feel very good. I sang a little in the afternoon when I was home alone, it helped a little. But I guess I am mad with my father. He won't ever assume he was mistaken, about whatever, so I am not waiting for anything... He doesn't even understand the effect of his words. Whatever I will be better. Almost never had any of my parents trying to make feel better when I was sad. And I have my big teddy bear for moments like this. I wanted to hear some complements, may that would have helped to get some equilibrium to the balance. |
![]() Clara22
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#79
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Quote:
__________________
Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
![]() Fuzzybear
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![]() mulan
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#80
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Today is the best day I've had in a while. My suicidal ideation is well contained today & my desire to self-harm is very low. I am going to try and make it through the day with only minimal self-harm.
__________________
It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
![]() leomama, mulan
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#81
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Its been a long time since I've been able to check in. No computer. Been trying to learn the guitar and it helps to distract me from both physical and mental issues. Typing on a phone is annoying. Over all though I try to be grateful for what I have. Back on meds but it sure isn't a cure for depression and loneliness. Tinnitus is driving me nuts.
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![]() Angelique67
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#82
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Quote:
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#83
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no one cares about me. might as well face up. my life never mattered, so why would my death
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![]() Anonymous445852
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#84
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It's been years since I've been here, but I'm thinking I could really use some support. Problem with forums is that I don't have a lot of "free time". Maybe if I keep my comments short???
__________________
![]() lindammarie |
#85
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Whatever time you can spare we'll do our best to give you support.
__________________
It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
![]() lindammarie
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#86
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Nobody gives ME support. I wonder what makes everyone better than me that they desevre support and I do not.
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![]() Anonymous41141, lindammarie, ScientiaOmnisEst, tiredspirit
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#87
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I spent some time with my friend today. We had a pretty good time to just talk. I went to see the doctor after that. He told me what my options are and for now we've decided on a plan. But there is a possibility that the medication may not work, and if so, then more procedure(s) may be possible. I sure hope not. After the meeting with the doctor I had a feeling of discouragement.
Went to the pool area tonight. It had been good for a while, but not tonight. I real low class couple were there. I sure hope to never see them again. They ruined my evening more. When going to the pool area I either am alone (which is fine with me) or there are jerks. I have hardly met any nice people there. |
![]() lindammarie
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#88
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Totally messed up my diet and my step count and my reading and prayers. Try again tomorrow.
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#89
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Feeling shaky and anxious. I don't know if the delivery from Walgreens is coming today. I should really eat something soon.
But on the bright side, my new phone's battery is significantly better than my retired phone so now I don't have to worry about my phone dying when I have to go to an appointment. ![]() ETA the guy from Walgreens came. So I'm OK for today I guess. He has to come back to bring me an eye care product. |
#90
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I feel like I need some help with my anxiety. I'm going to take a Vistaril now. I don't usually take it during the daytime anymore. I should be posting this in the Anxiety thread but it will make me worse to look for it again in the latest craptastic version of Tapatalk.
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![]() lindammarie
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#91
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In real life? Your parents are not likely to ever change. (But I still hope they will for your sake.)
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#92
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I'm going to try again today not to self-harm. I hope it goes better than yesterday.
__________________
It's only paranoia until it happens. Why I don't trust doctors Things You Wish People Understood About Depression I mean what I say & I say what I mean. |
![]() Anonymous37901, lindammarie
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![]() Takeshi
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#93
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Igot triggered by something on TV. My day had been ok until that point. I feel unable to distract or reach out. So I'm turning to my usual negatve coping mechanisms. I'll regret it tomorrow but right now I don't seem to care.
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![]() Humpty Dumpty, lindammarie
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#94
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not a bad day,
but still so suicidal. hard when you've hit a dead end in life |
![]() Aardwolf, Anonymous37901, Anonymous37954, lindammarie, Takeshi, tiredspirit
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#95
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Still bouncing off the bottom.. Trying to increase the airtime slowly but surely !
__________________
"And right here is where we store our sanity. As you can see, it's currently missing" |
![]() lindammarie
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![]() Takeshi
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#96
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Quote:
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![]() lindammarie, Takeshi, tiredspirit
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#97
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Definitely feeling down atm
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#98
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![]() leomama, lindammarie
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#99
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Still feeling down. This is kind of nuts. Don't know what's causing this. I think it's situational .
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#100
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Quote:
We don't all get it... I hope you can identify some things that give you support for when people aren't around. I'm trying to think of things myself...
__________________
![]() lindammarie |
![]() leomama
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Closed Thread |
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