Daily Check In, ups and downs #19

slept all day today again

Doing okay

Damn it, my post got lost now.

I am in a diff country, so my timings are diff from yours.

My start was bad today. I wasnt being able to get out of bed in the morn till my Mom forced me to get up at around 11am. (Dont know how I am going to work anywhere if this goes on. Anyways, hopefully there is time - another 4-5months till I get back my old job). Now, after freshening up and breakfast and tea, I am still inside my room. Depression is so debilitating.

hee hee! I know how irritating it is. Happens with me too.

didnt sleep all day today so thats good

It's been a good couple of weeks. I haven't felt this comfortable in a while. There's just one thing I want to make sure I try. I want to see if I can emotionally detox myself. There are some things that have been lingering for at least 6 years. I know I can't completely get rid of them, but I can at least know how to handle them. Listening to music can only do so much.

An alright kind of day for me. Yesterday I went to my bank and a customer service rep. there was very helpful to me; saying that the company I had a dispute with on a check I sent to did not send my check their way to process the payment. So this morning I called that company and right away they told me that they had made a mistake and that they are going to waive that $25 fee.

I worked out after work today and it went well. I talked to my old man friend tonight. For some reason, I'm feeling like I'm not crazy about him anymore. I feel bad about this. It seems like we don't see each other that much anymore.

Was very late for work today so bad start. Seems this has set me up for today's low mood. Feel tired and have little motivation. Want to go back to bed

Trying desperately to not feel so down all the time, but it's not easy. It's not like I don't have anything. There's a job, a roof over my head, people who care. What's wrong with me?

not much to really say here.

pretty fed up of lack of improvement and lack of support

this week's sort of been 1 of the weeks where you just watch time go by while you sit their and just ponder existance

I've been increasingly sleeping 10-14 hours a day; I have little appetite but eat out of habit. I have zero motivation to do anything, little interest in anything, but I'm practically crawling out of my skin from boredom. Help.

Feeling down from the moment I woke up.

So far today has been a so-so day.

I'm doing okay. My last funk didn't last too long. Just gotta keep moving on to the next little task.

I've been back on my Prozac a little over 3 weeks now & yesterday I really felt the brain fog of depression lifting-so thankful for this. Having more energy & feeling much more connected to the world. The last few months it's felt like I was dragging weights around behind me & it was a good day if I could make it from the bed to the couch before noon. My heart goes to all who are struggling-I know it feels like the depression will go on forever but it can get better

Bad day. I generally don't like weekends, though I like to relax. I guess the loneliness quickly sets in, I need to get out of my head as much as possible.

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Depressed.

I was very busy yesterday. I hardly had any time to look on here. On the go all day. At night I felt slightly bad at feeling lonely. I watched a movie that was alright. Not a great movie, but also not bad.

Today seemed like a pretty nice day for me. I woke up feeling very yucky. It's always a wonder to me that I would feel so bad in the morning, but yet feel better as the day wears on. I would swear that if I felt so bad in the morning, I should feel that way for the rest of the day.

I went to a church to attend Sunday School only. I really liked the class very much and I would like to do it again. And I took a two and a half hour bike ride. After that I had a very good talk with a friend. I learned of a couple of new things. One was about fasting from the Sunday School class. And the other was that I baked a loaf of fresh bread for the first time in my whole life.

I have tomorrow off from work. I plan to see my two friends tomorrow at separate times. It's not definite right now, but it is possible.

Haven't been feeling overly sad, but I feel dull lately. I'm exhausted easily, especially by spending time with people, and I have practically no interest in anything. I feel like there's no point to anything right now.

I am not that well. Not able to take proper self-care - like taking showers regularly or waking up in the morns at a proper time.However I am being able to do yoga and a little bit of housework like ironing my clothes. Not being able to go out of the house much except for once or twice a week. Dont know when I'll feel good enough to carry on a normal life like everybody else.
And yes, like Will I feel worse in the morns.

i wish i didn't have this brain. I feel like I'm slowly losing my will to keep going. I'm getting weak

Why do I have to go a little bit crazy before I can be happy for even a little while.

Let's say I will be better if I die.