Alone, so damn alone

I've been alone for so long. I've forgotten what it's like to have anyone around.

Make friends? Yeah right. It's damn hard when you have depression. And for the last year+ it's been mostly a solid episode of major depression. Not the off/on/up/down dysthymia, which is bad enough.

Then there's the matter of no longer having a car (thank you epilepsy). Try doing stuff on the bus, oh joy. Half the places that I'd like to get to, I can't to. The bus doesn't go there. Taxi? Costs to much. From downtown to where I live would be almost $20.

Plus, there's not really many places to meet people here. I don't have friends to ask for introductions. Seriously, I have NO friends. I am completely alone here.

I wish I had ideas for you. Depression began to strangle my social life before I stopped driving. Afterwards...

I'm sorry.

I'm here.

We're here.

But I know that's not the same. That it doesn't take away the loneliness.

*hugs*

Double whammy......loneliness and depression. Know exactly how you feel.

Depression sucks. I'm grateful for the few friends I do have left, although I keep wondering when they'll drop out of my life

I've freaked out about being so lonely in my flat that I've had to stay with my mum cause I can't stand the hole that is my flat.

I've been alone most of my life Sgt. PTSD, depression, and having no one sucks, so I feel where you are coming from completely. I understand you frustration losing your driving. My mother has Epilepsy and I grew up around it. I guess the best I can say to you is do what you can with what you do have, which is what I do.

Loneliness, in my opinion, amplifies depression and vice versa. My only social contact is on here. Like you, I have no one tangible either. As human beings with these hindrances, we have to fight harder. You are strong Sgt, don't let it win.

I completely understand. I suffer from PTSD. The loneliness I feel is mainly due to my love life. Before the trauma last year, I made a choice NOT to be in a relationship. Now that I can't go to work and suffer from depression, I'm afraid that my love life will fail. He doesn't quite understand how difficult some days could be. I'm thankful for my friends but I don't feel like talking to any one of them most days. My only ray of sunshine is my 11 year old and the man in my life. I'm happy to have found this forum because at least I can now socialize with others who go through the same thing I do.

One suggestion. Is Uber in your city? I don't drive right now either but between Uber and Marta, I'm able to move around. Best wishes to you.

I can't completely understand what you're going through and how it feels because I have my husband in my life. But I've watched my daughter who struggles with a physical illness and depression become so isolated and alone that it breaks my heart. What do I say when she cries and asks me if she'll be alone for the rest of her life? When she asks if anyone could ever love her with all her issues? It kills me to see her so alone. Add that to my list of things that I've screwed up--if I had recognized what she was going through and gotten her help sooner, maybe she would have people in her life. Friends? Someone's kind who loves her?
I am so very sorry there are so many people on this board who feel so alone and unloved. I see it every day in real life too in my girl. My deepest hope is that everyone who wants it finds at least one person IRL who understands, accepts and loves them

MommaD, I am disabled and get passed by because of that as well so I understand how your daughter feels. It saddens me to see other people alone because they have what the narcissistic, as I call them, imperfections. Things are sadly getting worse for your daughter, myself, and so many others because superficiality, materialism, and cruelty are only getting worse. Please tell your daughter she is not alone.

I often feel lonely too.. so I understand your feeling. It really sucks

I am all alone too...it is not easy living life like this and I truly desire some good friends...but I guess it is not the card that I was delt. Are there any support groups in your area? How about meetup.com? It might be a good way to meet people who are in the same situation.

I know how it is, you're not alone

I feel alone and depressed also. So I relate.

It took almost 15yrs before I found a meetup group. then it hit me after I joined that I couldn't get there because I don't have an effing car. Bus? I could get a third of the way there, then walk. In the winter I'd be climbing snow berms. I'm to damned old to be climbing berms.

As for that group, there were only 2 of us signed up. It's no longer around. No other groups. As I've said, this city has nothing. It's a sewer and needs a trillion gallon enema. Wish I'd never moved out here.

Another effing day, who the eff cares? NOBODY.

I care...hope you have a good day soon...

My depression makes me want to be alone. How messed up is that? Oh well.

Different situations, different ways of coping.........

Sorry for the epilepsy (SgtRock). My older brother, now deceased, suffered from epilepsy. Tough to cope with that, I know.

To SgtRock, and everyone else who has posted in agreement, I feel you. Right now I'm in a season where I don't have an active social life and therefore very few support people. Definitely no peer support (I'm 23). Anyway, I get that it's tough. Not sure if you have friends that aren't local, but two of my closest friends are out of state. I know that technology doesn't replace physical presence, but it sure helps being able to talk to them when I need to do so.

I have no friends. Local, out of state or even out of country.

On Christmas eve I came a hair's breadth of telling my brother to esad and to never contact me again. That he was dead to me, for the idiot thing he had the balls to say on the phone to me. No, losing the front end out of your Polaris Ranger plowing the road so you can get out isn't NEAR the same as me losing my car. It wasn't my idea for you to live off the grid, it was yours'.

Everyone else I knew from my past I've lost contact with. I've tried finding them, can't. They aren't listed in any phone book.

The ONLY person (other than my therapist) that I talk to is my mom. Well, I can't get to deep with her. She's pushing 80. And all it would do is worry her to death. Besides, there's nothing she can do, she lives almost 400 miles away. So when I talk to her, I try my best to maintain a decent face. Yes, everything is fine attitude. Even when I'm at rock bottom.

When I found a high school/college buddy on Facebook, I jumped for joy. Friended him. When I let him know where my mom retired to, he asked for her phone # and addy, said he drove through there all the time. Said he'd love to stop and see her. I told him to email me. Never heard back.

Then I had a big meltdown and dumped my Facebook. Well, he could still reach me even if he lost me email addy. My brother is on Facebook. He could friend my brother. My brother knows who he is and would accept his friend request. Nope, I guess he blew me off. Oh well... story of my life.

The Facebook story isn't recent. It happened about 4yrs ago.

I ditched Facebook too. People were getting too ugly natured on there.

Great song about depression. And an interview with Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics.
Dave Stewart of Eurythmics : Songwriter Interviews

I try to stay positive too when I talk to my parents...very sad that they are the only people I have a conversation with and as time goes by we talk less and less. Idk what happens to people like us...why life has played out like this for us...I wish I could at least have an explanation for this extreme sadness and loneliness...but I just try to do some things that make me happy...take a walk...go to the beach...watch a movie...try to find a glimmer of happiness in this bleak world.

I've pretty well given up. There's nobody to meet. Not in this effing town.