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  #1  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 02:13 PM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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I've been alone for so long. I've forgotten what it's like to have anyone around.

Make friends? Yeah right. It's damn hard when you have depression. And for the last year+ it's been mostly a solid episode of major depression. Not the off/on/up/down dysthymia, which is bad enough.

Then there's the matter of no longer having a car (thank you epilepsy). Try doing stuff on the bus, oh joy. Half the places that I'd like to get to, I can't to. The bus doesn't go there. Taxi? Costs to much. From downtown to where I live would be almost $20.

Plus, there's not really many places to meet people here. I don't have friends to ask for introductions. Seriously, I have NO friends. I am completely alone here.
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Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

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  #2  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 03:11 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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I wish I had ideas for you. Depression began to strangle my social life before I stopped driving. Afterwards...
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My dog mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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  #3  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 03:26 PM
Sunlaien Sunlaien is offline
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I'm sorry.

I'm here.

We're here.

But I know that's not the same. That it doesn't take away the loneliness.

*hugs*
  #4  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 03:27 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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  #5  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 04:54 PM
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feeshee feeshee is offline
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Double whammy......loneliness and depression. Know exactly how you feel.
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  #6  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 05:41 PM
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JustJace2u JustJace2u is offline
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Depression sucks. I'm grateful for the few friends I do have left, although I keep wondering when they'll drop out of my life
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Dx: BP2 and MDD

Current meds: 100mg Wellbutrin; 200mg Lamictal; 400mg Seroquel at night; Xanax 1mg/PRN; 100mg/PRN Trazodone at night for insomnia
Diagnosed in May 2016


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  #7  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 09:12 PM
spotofbipolar spotofbipolar is offline
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I've freaked out about being so lonely in my flat that I've had to stay with my mum cause I can't stand the hole that is my flat.
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  #8  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 10:51 PM
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RJ42 RJ42 is offline
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I've been alone most of my life Sgt. PTSD, depression, and having no one sucks, so I feel where you are coming from completely. I understand you frustration losing your driving. My mother has Epilepsy and I grew up around it. I guess the best I can say to you is do what you can with what you do have, which is what I do.

Loneliness, in my opinion, amplifies depression and vice versa. My only social contact is on here. Like you, I have no one tangible either. As human beings with these hindrances, we have to fight harder. You are strong Sgt, don't let it win.
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I've been to Hell and back so many times, I have afrequent flier mileage program.
Thanks for this!
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  #9  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 11:04 PM
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Kenyaful74 Kenyaful74 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2016
Location: Atlanta
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I completely understand. I suffer from PTSD. The loneliness I feel is mainly due to my love life. Before the trauma last year, I made a choice NOT to be in a relationship. Now that I can't go to work and suffer from depression, I'm afraid that my love life will fail. He doesn't quite understand how difficult some days could be. I'm thankful for my friends but I don't feel like talking to any one of them most days. My only ray of sunshine is my 11 year old and the man in my life. I'm happy to have found this forum because at least I can now socialize with others who go through the same thing I do.

One suggestion. Is Uber in your city? I don't drive right now either but between Uber and Marta, I'm able to move around. Best wishes to you.
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  #10  
Old Jan 13, 2017, 11:57 PM
MommaD MommaD is offline
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I can't completely understand what you're going through and how it feels because I have my husband in my life. But I've watched my daughter who struggles with a physical illness and depression become so isolated and alone that it breaks my heart. What do I say when she cries and asks me if she'll be alone for the rest of her life? When she asks if anyone could ever love her with all her issues? It kills me to see her so alone. Add that to my list of things that I've screwed up--if I had recognized what she was going through and gotten her help sooner, maybe she would have people in her life. Friends? Someone's kind who loves her?
I am so very sorry there are so many people on this board who feel so alone and unloved. I see it every day in real life too in my girl. My deepest hope is that everyone who wants it finds at least one person IRL who understands, accepts and loves them
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  #11  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 08:50 AM
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RJ42 RJ42 is offline
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MommaD, I am disabled and get passed by because of that as well so I understand how your daughter feels. It saddens me to see other people alone because they have what the narcissistic, as I call them, imperfections. Things are sadly getting worse for your daughter, myself, and so many others because superficiality, materialism, and cruelty are only getting worse. Please tell your daughter she is not alone.
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I've been to Hell and back so many times, I have afrequent flier mileage program.
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  #12  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 09:05 AM
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MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is offline
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I often feel lonely too.. so I understand your feeling. It really sucks
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  #13  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 11:31 AM
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metalchick metalchick is offline
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I am all alone too...it is not easy living life like this and I truly desire some good friends...but I guess it is not the card that I was delt. Are there any support groups in your area? How about meetup.com? It might be a good way to meet people who are in the same situation.
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MommaD
  #14  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 11:34 AM
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MatBell MatBell is offline
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I know how it is, you're not alone
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  #15  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 03:08 PM
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Yours_Truly Yours_Truly is offline
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I feel alone and depressed also. So I relate.
  #16  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 03:35 PM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by metalchick View Post
I am all alone too...it is not easy living life like this and I truly desire some good friends...but I guess it is not the card that I was delt. Are there any support groups in your area? How about meetup.com? It might be a good way to meet people who are in the same situation.
It took almost 15yrs before I found a meetup group. then it hit me after I joined that I couldn't get there because I don't have an effing car. Bus? I could get a third of the way there, then walk. In the winter I'd be climbing snow berms. I'm to damned old to be climbing berms.

As for that group, there were only 2 of us signed up. It's no longer around. No other groups. As I've said, this city has nothing. It's a sewer and needs a trillion gallon enema. Wish I'd never moved out here.
__________________
Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Hugs from:
Rohag
  #17  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 09:05 PM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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Another effing day, who the eff cares? NOBODY.
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Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Hugs from:
MommaD, Rohag, Yours_Truly
  #18  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 09:11 PM
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metalchick metalchick is offline
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I care...hope you have a good day soon...
  #19  
Old Jan 14, 2017, 09:29 PM
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KarenSue KarenSue is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2015
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My depression makes me want to be alone. How messed up is that? Oh well.

Different situations, different ways of coping.........

Sorry for the epilepsy (SgtRock). My older brother, now deceased, suffered from epilepsy. Tough to cope with that, I know.
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  #20  
Old Jan 15, 2017, 12:44 AM
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maryrachel12 maryrachel12 is offline
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To SgtRock, and everyone else who has posted in agreement, I feel you. Right now I'm in a season where I don't have an active social life and therefore very few support people. Definitely no peer support (I'm 23). Anyway, I get that it's tough. Not sure if you have friends that aren't local, but two of my closest friends are out of state. I know that technology doesn't replace physical presence, but it sure helps being able to talk to them when I need to do so.
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  #21  
Old Jan 15, 2017, 11:42 AM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryrachel12 View Post
To SgtRock, and everyone else who has posted in agreement, I feel you. Right now I'm in a season where I don't have an active social life and therefore very few support people. Definitely no peer support (I'm 23). Anyway, I get that it's tough. Not sure if you have friends that aren't local, but two of my closest friends are out of state. I know that technology doesn't replace physical presence, but it sure helps being able to talk to them when I need to do so.
I have no friends. Local, out of state or even out of country.

On Christmas eve I came a hair's breadth of telling my brother to esad and to never contact me again. That he was dead to me, for the idiot thing he had the balls to say on the phone to me. No, losing the front end out of your Polaris Ranger plowing the road so you can get out isn't NEAR the same as me losing my car. It wasn't my idea for you to live off the grid, it was yours'.

Everyone else I knew from my past I've lost contact with. I've tried finding them, can't. They aren't listed in any phone book.

The ONLY person (other than my therapist) that I talk to is my mom. Well, I can't get to deep with her. She's pushing 80. And all it would do is worry her to death. Besides, there's nothing she can do, she lives almost 400 miles away. So when I talk to her, I try my best to maintain a decent face. Yes, everything is fine attitude. Even when I'm at rock bottom.

When I found a high school/college buddy on Facebook, I jumped for joy. Friended him. When I let him know where my mom retired to, he asked for her phone # and addy, said he drove through there all the time. Said he'd love to stop and see her. I told him to email me. Never heard back.

Then I had a big meltdown and dumped my Facebook. Well, he could still reach me even if he lost me email addy. My brother is on Facebook. He could friend my brother. My brother knows who he is and would accept his friend request. Nope, I guess he blew me off. Oh well... story of my life.

The Facebook story isn't recent. It happened about 4yrs ago.
__________________
Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

Hugs from:
Rohag, Yours_Truly
  #22  
Old Jan 15, 2017, 06:40 PM
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RJ42 RJ42 is offline
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Location: Michigan
Posts: 218
I ditched Facebook too. People were getting too ugly natured on there.
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I've been to Hell and back so many times, I have afrequent flier mileage program.
  #23  
Old Jan 21, 2017, 03:07 PM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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Location: corner of lost & found
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Great song about depression. And an interview with Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics.
Dave Stewart of Eurythmics : Songwriter Interviews

__________________
Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

  #24  
Old Jan 21, 2017, 05:41 PM
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metalchick metalchick is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Ri
Posts: 669
I try to stay positive too when I talk to my parents...very sad that they are the only people I have a conversation with and as time goes by we talk less and less. Idk what happens to people like us...why life has played out like this for us...I wish I could at least have an explanation for this extreme sadness and loneliness...but I just try to do some things that make me happy...take a walk...go to the beach...watch a movie...try to find a glimmer of happiness in this bleak world.
  #25  
Old Jan 21, 2017, 07:35 PM
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SgtRock SgtRock is offline
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I've pretty well given up. There's nobody to meet. Not in this effing town.
__________________
Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

~ Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

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possum220
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