[Angelique67]

Maybe the worst thing about this rehab is the lack of privacy. I just worked out on the bike machine for 20 minutes. I hope that's enough - 10 for legs, and 10 for arms. I wish I could go ride my bike. I feel doomed and I'm not sure why. I have two appointments at the opthalmologist this week, and today I'll have to call and cancel one of them. Or ask the social worker to do it but I hate to bother her. Iwas just thinking I'm not really hungry but a few seconds ago I had a moment of feeling ravenous. It's almost lunchtime. I feel just exhausted. Wish I could go back to sleep.

[Patagonia]

I was hoping to get called into work one last time. I wasn't. I'm so bummed. I was called in on Friday & it was awesome to my MH. Felt like the clouds had parted. I'm needed!
Only one more day, tomorrow, that I could possibly work then that's it for the yr.
I need something! I loved working that dumb minimum wage job bec it gave me purpose instead of going house & mom crap. I need to find that again.

[Lakeesha]

Checking in for the first time. I joined during the weekend, whilhardly being able to breath because I kept bursting into tears for no reason. Even just writing about it makes me feel the tears welling up again. Though I think I feel at least a little bit better than the last couple of days, I don't feel over the hill.
But every bit helps, right?

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Good to meet you, Lakeesha.

[Sunflower123]

I feel so discouraged right now. The hospital called this morning and postponed my surgery without giving me a reason, am having a disagreement with a close family member who I may have to distance myself from, and my cat has shown her displeasure with me being busy and not giving her as much attention by going to the bathroom on my new outfit, my new bedding and my favorite tote bag.

Nothing major and I’ll get over it but my thoughts started heading down a dark path in the midst of this. Sometimes it seems like if it’s not one thing it’s another.

Sending hugs to all who are struggling today.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Oh no, Jen!

[Sunflower123]

I feel worse because I think a stronger person would shrug this off and take it in stride and it’s hitting me wrong. I shouldn’t be this upset yet I am.

[Albatross2008]

I'd have to give today a good, solid "meh."

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I feel worse because I think a stronger person would shrug this off and take it in stride and it’s hitting me wrong. I shouldn’t be this upset yet I am.

There's zero shame in being overwhelmed by a ton of things pouring down on you. A "stronger" person might put it all to the side and get on with their day, but the stress would manifest in other ways, I guarantee.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

There's zero shame in being overwhelmed by a ton of things pouring down on you. A "stronger" person might put it all to the side and get on with their day, but the stress would manifest in other ways, I guarantee.

Thank you very much. I needed to hear (or in this case see) that.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. Thinking of you.

Thank you. I'm doing ok now. I'm concerned about you. Sending love and hugs your way

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

I'm glad you're having s better day.

I did get my hair cut, and my husband, and I worked on the shower doors, but that was all I got done. I hope I am able to get it all done before Saturday. We also are almost finished with the insulation, and drywall in the sunken den, the mud room, and the washer, and dryer area. We have just a few more small things to do there, put the shower doors in the frame, and fix the closet in the spare room. Then I can get all my cleaning done. But best of all, I did have a better day.

sad after therapy. i told her about my SI getting worse and then we talked about other things like my childhood. she asked me if anyone ever comforted me. nope. i feel like a stupid baby after that therapy appointment.

[Kote]

Today was a pretty bad day. At least up until around 4pm. Work was slow so I had a lot of time to torture myself in my head. I was constantly on the verge of tears (as seems to be the norm these days). But then I decided on do something about it and my mood changed, albeit slightly. My sister asked me what was wrong so I told her everything. I kind of regret putting all my problems onto my 18 year old sister, but it felt good talking about it. I also started a coding class online. I know nothing about coding so it was confusing & difficult, but I'm going to keep at it. Now it's just time to watch a little TV & hope I don't wake up too many times in the night.

It was a pretty good day at work today. Fairly busy doing my work, which was nice. I had a nice workout after work. The pool area was nice as no one was there to bother me. I need more days like today.

Originally Posted by Patagonia

I was hoping to get called into work one last time. I wasn't. I'm so bummed. I was called in on Friday & it was awesome to my MH. Felt like the clouds had parted. I'm needed!
Only one more day, tomorrow, that I could possibly work then that's it for the yr.
I need something! I loved working that dumb minimum wage job bec it gave me purpose instead of going house & mom crap. I need to find that again.

Man, I miss my dumb minimum wage job. I worked as manual labor at a greenhouse. I'm thankful for the security my current job gives me, but I miss working out in the country, hauling wheelbarrows of soil and bags of fertilizer while listening to the horses in the nearby field. I was probably mentally and physically the healthiest I've ever been!

Sounds like your work is seasonal too. Do you volunteer at all, Patagonia?

[nikon]

I'm sorry I don't offer much support to people on this thread.

i don't know why i seem to have hit a sudden depressive episode. some of the time i just feel like it's almost too much effort to move. feel very destructive towards myself.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Originally Posted by nikon

I'm sorry I don't offer much support to people on this thread.

i don't know why i seem to have hit a sudden depressive episode. some of the time i just feel like it's almost too much effort to move. feel very destructive towards myself.

You support by just turning up.

I'm sorry you're feeling self-destructive.

I don't usually post in the mornings, as it's my toughest time of the day. But I'm giving it a go, to see how it feels.

I'm in a coffee shop, eating a chocolate twist. Morning anxiety is attacking, nibbling from the inside out and also from the outside in.

I'm trying to focus on another nice thing I can do later in the day, and aim my thoughts towards that.

Love to everyone.

[Patagonia]

No I don't volunteer. Usually once a yr at my kids school & that's torture. I'm not fond of people, especially parents.
I stay home most days of the week, playing the star role of mom & submissive wife lol, don't talk to anyone all day. My role is needed at home for them

[katydid777]

Good morning everyone. I am determined to get stuff done today. I don't feel too bad physically, and my emotional state is so so today, so I am doing good. My plan for today is the basic cleaning, kitchen, living room, spare room, ect. I can't wash the spare room bedding until the washer, and dryer are back in place. It is all coming together, and I think we will have it all done before our company gets here. After they go we will still have to put the tape on the sheetrock, do whatever needs mud, do the sanding, and then paint. But all of that will be later, thank goodness.

[PsychNitrous]

I think I've posted about it before, but I get episodes of depression that are related to hormonal changes. I'm on my second course of a medication that my GYN thinks will fix it. The start of these episodes has been pushing back further, so it isn't as long. But I'm afraid it's not going to go away, and I'm going to be left with a day or two a month that I'm just so depressed I can't even function. It's scary.

[regretful]

Doing the best I can to improve, with thoughts and feelings not in sync just yet. What I mean is that the thoughts of calmer times and focusing on the moment are here; waiting for the feelings to follow. I am hopeful that all of us here find a moment's peace today.

I'm feeling annoyed for some reason. I want to do stuff I enjoy. I feel kinda bored.

[mulan]

Here I am feeling guilty.
So, I learned some of my colleagues used their commission days at work (for congresses and courses) to have some free days, not really going to the congresses.
As I didn't almost spend any of these days and my position is one with very few responsabilities I decided to do the same. I took off the rest of this week as formation days, while I decided not to go (it was to expensive).
I am torned now. This three days my partner at work will have is work load doubled and this is illegal. Many people do this, seniors too. I don't have to show any confirmation of my presence. But my moral conscience is haunting me.
I can justify myself... But it doesn't matter here.

[Albatross2008]

Today I'm sick. Fever and everything. Which is frustrating, because it seems like any time there's the slightest bug going around, I gotta catch it. I wish I could stay well long enough to get something accomplished.