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#76
Oct 08, 2017, 12:08 PM
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I was cuddled on the couch & my 9 yo came over to cuddle with me, right on top of me actually. And gave me such a big hug.
I was overcome with such a flood of emotion it kind of scared me. I teared up & wanted to sob but controlled myself. Then I realized what set me off. It was the pressure of her body against mine. The warmth of her hug that wasn't forced. A genuine touch & it felt sooooo beautiful & I realized how very much I miss the warm touch of another human that truly loves me. God I miss that, it made my body ache!
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
 952p65823, Anonymous41644, Anonymous50013, boomerango, Ceara1010, Etherin, Olanza-what?, Sunflower123
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#78
Oct 08, 2017, 04:42 PM
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Quote:
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| 952p65823, Anonymous41141, Ceara1010, feeshee, Rose76, Sunflower123
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 Patagonia, Rose76
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#80
Oct 08, 2017, 07:11 PM
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An OK kind of day for me. Another busy day and not being at work. Not much social interaction for me today. Went to church and still have not connected with anyone. And picked up a couple of items at a store that I needed. Went for a 2 hour and 10 minute bike ride. A real nice day for the bike ride. Not hot outside like it was yesterday. I hope that the real hot days are over with for now.
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| Sunflower123
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#81
Oct 08, 2017, 10:19 PM
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I'm a little better than I was. Every night, I feel better in the evening. I might go to the store now.
I just have to somehow force myself to get going earlier in the day. |
| 952p65823, Anonymous55397, Ceara1010, feeshee, Sunflower123
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#82
Oct 09, 2017, 05:33 AM
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Bad today. Stressed and odd. Mornings (at work) are always hell.
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| 952p65823, Anonymous50013, Anonymous55397, Ceara1010, nikon, Sunflower123
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#83
Oct 09, 2017, 06:13 AM
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5 a.m. and I still haven't been asleep. Laid in bed for hours with no sleeping. So I might as well read on my tablet. It might tire me out.
At least I'm not depressed. |
| 952p65823, Anonymous50013, Anonymous55397, Ceara1010, feeshee, nikon, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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#84
Oct 09, 2017, 09:00 AM
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I have always been alone, and I'm so sick of it... The world is so much heavier when you are alone...
__________________
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| 952p65823, Anonymous41141, Anonymous50013, Anonymous55397, Ceara1010, feeshee, nikon, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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| Patagonia
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#85
Oct 09, 2017, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
Actually, pressure on the body is a type of therapy called "pressure therapy." A lot of psychiatric service dogs are trained to lay on top of their owners on command to do this. It's very helpful for calming and soothing. I'm so glad you can get this from your daughter. 
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
| 952p65823, Sunflower123
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#86
Oct 09, 2017, 10:32 AM
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So I had a really good time with my family yesterday. I brought my new dog with me and she seems very comfortable at my folk's house. We've been watching Westworld on demand lately, which I've seen already but my family hadn't.
I slept well last night, and feel a lot less stressed today so far, even as I wait for workmen who probably won't show up again. I'm determined to have a mostly positive outlook today. I deserve it. Everybody hang in there. 
__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness. Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition in event of success. -Ernest Shackleton |
| 952p65823, Anonymous50013, feeshee, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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| regretful
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#87
Oct 09, 2017, 11:17 AM
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Another weekend passed...still fighting off the slide into depression, and making it...so far. Best wishes to all of you in the battle you are waging against this illness...
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| Anonymous41141, Anonymous50013, Ceara1010, feeshee, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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| Ceara1010, feeshee
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#88
Oct 09, 2017, 11:49 AM
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I’m having a really bad day.
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| 952p65823, Anonymous41141, Anonymous50013, Anonymous55397, Ceara1010, feeshee, nikon, Purple,Violet,Blue, regretful
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#89
Oct 09, 2017, 01:52 PM
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my day has been up and down. it was very difficult to get going - everything felt like it was painful etc, too restless to concentrate on anything. I went to an NA meeting at lunchtime, saw my dietitian (for ED recovery), and did the work that I do on mondays. realised something with the help of the dietitian - I have been really strict with myself buying only the absolute essentials in terms of food because I'm not earning a lot at all at the moment. It's actually at least partially my ED; thoughts like: you shouldn't be eating, let alone enjoying "fancy" food; you can't waste money on nice food you don't need; you don't deserve to eat anything else but the basic essentials etc. Not to say I can spend a lot on food but my ED has been in control of my spending lately.
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| 952p65823, Anonymous50013, Ceara1010, feeshee, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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#91
Oct 09, 2017, 02:07 PM
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Big hug to us all, especially Jennifer.
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| 952p65823, Anonymous50013, Ceara1010, feeshee, Sunflower123
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#92
Oct 09, 2017, 02:12 PM
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Managed to 'trigger' myself with existential BS again, more or less by accident. I'm refusing to let it break me, I just got on a self-improvement upswing. I'm not letting trash like the nonsentient expanse of the universe knock me down and get in my damn way again.
I know it's small, kind of weird. Stressing about abstractions when there are concrete things to care about. Concrete things that matter, that actually can matter because they're all we've got in this life. |
| 952p65823, Ceara1010, feeshee, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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| Ceara1010
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#94
Oct 09, 2017, 02:27 PM
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Sorry to hear that, fee. Anything particular?
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| 952p65823, Sunflower123
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#95
Oct 09, 2017, 03:21 PM
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I don't feel like I have the capacity to do my job anymore. It's been getting worse. I'm really, really looking forward to seeing my new T again Thursday so I can talk to her about this, but I just wish I could quit working and take some time off. It's so hard to just keep going right now, but I don't know what else to do.
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| 952p65823, Ceara1010, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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#96
Oct 09, 2017, 03:25 PM
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I can certainly identify with that, psych.
Best wishes. I'm sure your T will advise you well. In the meantime, you can call in sick if you're really bad. |
| 952p65823, Sunflower123
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| PsychNitrous
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#97
Oct 09, 2017, 03:45 PM
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Quote:
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| Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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#98
Oct 09, 2017, 03:58 PM
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I understand.
Try to stay as detached as you can. |
| 952p65823, Sunflower123
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#99
Oct 09, 2017, 06:06 PM
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Quote:
__________________
 Feeshee
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| Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
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#100
Oct 09, 2017, 06:21 PM
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I'm glad. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, and hoping you're OK.
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| Sunflower123
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